Category Archives for "Teens"

How to get a parent to be more parental

Werewolves asks: Hi Shirelle. My mother is a very sweet person, almost like my sister, and I can tell her anything (including my crushes). But now I have lost my respect towards her as my mother, because I treat her like my sister, and so we fight for small, silly reasons, and I feel really bad when she cries because of it. I also have tried to tell her that if she acts like my mom, I will treat her like one. I really don’t know what to do. HELP ME!!!!

Hi Werewolves –

What a fascinating problem you have!  This takes a lot of thought!

It would be easier for me to give advice to your mother on this issue, but since it’s you who’s writing, I’ll try to throw a few suggestions out.

First, it would be great for you to sit down with her and talk about this.  You should tell her how great it’s been to have a mother who’s such a “best friend,” but that you also need a strong mom these days, one who you can Continue reading

How to win back a boy you’ve spurned

Gabrielle asks: I like this guy who has been my classmate since first grade. He just left to move into a new school near mine, and I just started liking him a few months before the last school year ended. I didn’t really give him a good impression, because I hated the fact that everyone kept on teasing me about him liking me for 6 years, and saying that we were secretly a couple, so I hated him and I always got mad at him (this only made me mad because I didn’t want people to think that I had a boyfriend). But know that I like him, and he likes my best friend. He lives on the same street as me. I’m sort of close with his sister, who is my schoolmate. Please help me find out how to get him to like me again. I tried to forget liking him but I can’t. 🙂 HELP!!!

Hi Gabrielle –

I was named after a singing group called The Shirelles, who had a song (with a not very complimentary title) that sort of described your situation.  Some of the words go “You didn’t want him when he wanted you.  He’s found another love, it’s her he’s thinking of, and there’s not a single thing that you can do.”

But I’m going to be more optimistic than that!  You see, it is TOTALLY normal for a girl to be bothered by a boy who is interested in her between the ages of 6 and 12.  Most boys absolutely hate girls when they’re that age, and vice versa!

But now you’re at a point where he’s starting to look Continue reading

1 How to get rid of blackheads

mallory123 asks: How do you get rid of blackheads overnight?

Hi Mallory123 –

Well I have to admit, this question is outside my usual expertise.  Dogs don’t really get blackheads, and even if we did, they’d be covered up by our fur so no one would be bothered by them.

So I’ve done a bit of research on the subject.  And I learned a lot!  For example, I’ve always assumed that blackheads were mainly dirt that had lodged in the pores in people’s faces.  But they’re not.  Most adolescent skin problems stem from the person’s body producing excess Continue reading

What does it mean when you start to split off from your friends?

laury98 asks: I hang out with guys now that the girls are being annoying and boring. But now the girls are calling me bad names. What should I do, because those aren’t my intentions; my intentions are to have a conversation with someone who won’t whine like a baby! What should I say to them?

Hi laury98 –

What’s great about where you are is that you’re starting to define the boundaries of your own environment.  I know that sounds awfully big and serious, but…  actually, it is!

You see, when we’re born, we begin to adjust to the world we find ourselves in.  We learn the language, we learn what the people around us like and how to please them, and we learn to get along with those like us.  Then later it’s absolutely essential that we start defining ourselves in ways separate from those others.   That can appear when teenagers start listening to music that their parents can’t Continue reading

How to prepare to study overseas

Pragya asks: I am studying in high school right now. After completion of my high school, I will have to go abroad for my further studies. Till now, I have been living with my parents and I think I really don’t have many responsibilities to fulfill. Even though I have grown, I am still dependent on my parents, and so I feel my behaviors are too childish and I lack confidence. I am seeking some ideas for changing myself into a mature and independent girl, in order to go through my upcoming strange days in a completely strange country. Can you give some ideas?

Hi Pragya –

 

How exciting!  This is a tremendous chance for you, something very few people get to experience.  And my greatest wish for you is that you are able to embrace and absorb all the treasures an overseas education has to offer!

 

So do I have any ideas for you?  I mainly have one:  Pragya, give yourself a break!  You are so self-critical!  There’s nothing wrong with living with your Continue reading

What to do when your parents prefer a sibling to you

Bella asks: What I’m going to say might sound stupid, but I have a strong feeling that my parents prefer my sister over me. Not that they hate me, but the way they act with her is completely different from the way they act with me. One day we are on good terms, but then a week later they are ignoring me! Any advice on what I should do???

Hi Bella –

 

It’s hard to talk about this issue, I know.  Parents always want to believe that they treat (and love) all their children the same, but of course at different times, they’re going to “miss the target” on that.  Some parents can’t help but prefer the kid who’s best-behaved, while others just feel more fondness for the one who’s the more troublesome!  And the affection might switch over time.

 

Meanwhile, it’s absolutely normal for their kids to want, and even demand, equality.  When kids are very young, they simply want everything Mom and Dad can offer at all times; then they are taught to share and act with fairness, so they expect to be treated Continue reading

1 How to deal with loneliness

megane2 asks: What do you do when you have no one to talk to? When the only person who understands you is not with you and you’re not able to reach that person… When you have so much to say and to talk about but you feel totally alone? What should I do?

Hi Megane2 –

 

This is such a sad question.  Of course, I relate so well to it too.  Handsome leaves me at home alone nearly every day, and my heart just cries.  I like to spend time by myself, but that’s very different from being left alone.  Having no one to talk to, or play with, or just to pat my head, when I need it – that’s so lonely and painful.  I just hate it.  And I can tell you do too.

 

Here are ten ideas for things that you can do, though, when this happens.   Some of them are things I can’t do, so you’re luckier than me.  But all can be helpful, I promise.

 

1)    Write a journal.  One person you can always talk to is yourself!  Write out your feelings in a journal or diary.  And lots of times, you’ll find that the actual act of writing can help you work out some problems, just like telling a Continue reading

2 Should I try to take a boy away from his girlfriend?

Bella asks: Hi, I am in love with a guy, but he has a girlfriend. They have been going out for almost 4 years now. I’ve tried forgetting about him, but I can’t! They are thinking of getting engaged by the end of the year. The worst part is that she is one of my friends. What should I do????

Hi Bella –

 

There are some decisions in life where it’s clear that we should do what we want.  Then there are those where it’s kind of confusing.  And then there are those where it’s clear that we should give up.

 

For example, let’s talk about lamb roast.  Now I loooooooove lamb roast!  If Handsome is cooking one, I can smell it even before he starts the oven.  And then once the cooking starts, ooooooohhhhhhhhhh that aroma!  Luscious!

 

So let’s say that Handsome has roasted up a beautiful leg of lamb, and while he starts to carve it up for his guests, he hands me a beautiful juicy piece.  Should I take it?  Of course I should, are you nuts?!  I take it and then sit very politely on the floor, with perfect posture and my mouth just non-stop salivating and licking, and hoping for more.

 

But what if, say, Handsome accidentally drops a piece of that yummy Continue reading

How to do better in science classes

Tun Tun asks: Hi, I want to ask you why I cannot get good marks in science. I try my best always, but never get good marks in that particular subject. Can you give me any study tips for it???

Hi Tun Tun –

 

It’s no “breaking news” that different people have different interests and skills.  But it is always surprising when students who do well in most courses do poorly in one or two areas.  Handsome was kind of like you, but he also always had trouble with History classes.  Why someone should do well in Math but poorly in Science, or well in Literature but poorly in History, makes no sense to me, but it’s absolutely normal.  So I’m sorry you’re going through this, but please know, it can get better.

 

My guess is that the core problem is that you don’t actually find the Science class interesting.  Other classes deal with issues you are more drawn to than those in the Sciences.  So the first question I’d ask you is… why you’re not interested!  Science is the core of everything that we know exists – how beings live, how materials exist, what the rules of the universe are.  Which all sounds pretty interesting to me.  But I’m not a person.

 

Maybe if I were a person, I’d be more interested in how to make things work (as in Math classes where I’d learn to solve problems), or in how people think and act (as in pretty much all other classes, like History or Literature or Philosophy or Psychology).  So what the parts of a flower are, or how they procreate or grow or fade… just wouldn’t cut it for me.  Similarly, I might not be very interested in memorizing a Periodic Chart – I might not care what chemicals do what things – or understanding the Theory of Relativity.

 

But what if I looked on each Science class as a group of Mysteries?!  Maybe I just love mysteries, and if I could think of the class as one, it would suddenly fascinate me.  What if I made it my job to understand how flowers grow, or how a laser beam works?  And each bit I learned in class fed my chances of getting that solution?  Maybe then I could get myself to learn all that I’m supposed to, and then be fine (except for the annoyance of dealing with exams – annoying because the teacher always asks different questions than the one I’m struggling to answer!) as I progress through the course.

 

Anyway, that’s one thought.  Another is to divide all the stuff you have to learn into very tiny chunks, and memorize all of them in those bits, to the point where you’re carrying thousands of facts which you can then easily regurgitate on an exam.

 

But whatever method you use, the key is to find a way to be Interested in the subject.  If you just can’t find a way to do so, you might want to talk with your teacher, and see if they can find a way to help you with this.  And once you find an interest, then your job is simply to work as hard as, or harder than, you work in your other classes.

 

And then, truly the world is your oyster!  (And Tun Tun, if you can explain that sentence to me in scientific terms, I know you’ll do fine at school!)

 

Cheers,
Shirelle

 

1 How to make life interesting and fun

choco asks: How can I make my life interesting? Are there some tricks to make fun in life??

Hi Choco –

 

This is probably my favorite question anyone’s ever asked me, because this is what I’m best at.  You see, we dogs always can find something interesting and fun, unless someone’s literally put us in a tiny cage.  And you humans have every bit of what we have in our brains, and a lot more.  So why is it that you often can’t come up with something, when we always can?  It’s because of that extra brain you have!  You’re so much more judgmental and worried and self-conscious and all that, which all gets in the way of life!  (Now please realize, I also know that that extra brain does a lot of good; Overall it tends to be better.  I’m not putting you down here, just pointing out how it can be a problem!).

 

So what you need to do is get all that nonsense out of the way, and find your own Continue reading