Category Archives for "Relationships"

0 Why do men cheat?

Kim asks: Why do guys cheat?

Hi Kim –

What a great question.  I know you’re asking about males in particular, but I have to ask my version: why do people cheat!

We dogs are very loyal, and often jealous.  I would never “cheat” on Handsome; I really wouldn’t know how.  And when I see him petting another dog too much, I get furious…  at that other dog!  I don’t see Handsome as a cheater at all; I just make sure that other dog understands that that man is mine!

But at the same time, I don’t want you to get the idea that I’m just a pathetic boring mutt who can’t enjoy anyone else but my Continue reading

6 How to get someone to admit they like you.

varonikar asks: I have a stupid problem. I know a boy who loves me, but he won’t tell me so. I also love him. So what do I do to get him to tell me he loves me?

Hi Varonikar –

Hey this isn’t a stupid problem, it’s a delightful one!  This is one of the most exciting times you can have in your life, when you know what you feel and what he feels, but no one’s saying what they feel.  So now comes the fun and scary part — how do you find out for sure how he feels, and get him to say so?!  Maybe get a friend to ask him if he likes anyone?  Or try hanging around him and see how he reacts?  Or you could do what I do – just jump on him and lick his nose.  But it seems that dogs get away with that a lot more than Continue reading

0 How to tell someone you aren’t interested in them romantically

Makina asks: If a boy likes me but I don’t like him the same way… I can’t tell him that, so what should I do?!

Hi Makina –

You know what?  You’re a terrific person.  You are kind and thoughtful, and you have a heart as big as all outdoors.  In other words, you’re a lot like me!  But people and dogs like us sometimes need to learn some funny lessons about how to treat others lovingly.

You see, when you say that you can’t tell the boy how you feel, you aren’t just a little bit wrong, you are absolutely completely totally FULLY wrong!  Actually, the kindest, most sensitive, best thing you can do is to tell him exactly what you’re Continue reading

0 How to win back a boy you’ve spurned

Gabrielle asks: I like this guy who has been my classmate since first grade. He just left to move into a new school near mine, and I just started liking him a few months before the last school year ended. I didn’t really give him a good impression, because I hated the fact that everyone kept on teasing me about him liking me for 6 years, and saying that we were secretly a couple, so I hated him and I always got mad at him (this only made me mad because I didn’t want people to think that I had a boyfriend). But know that I like him, and he likes my best friend. He lives on the same street as me. I’m sort of close with his sister, who is my schoolmate. Please help me find out how to get him to like me again. I tried to forget liking him but I can’t. 🙂 HELP!!!

Hi Gabrielle –

I was named after a singing group called The Shirelles, who had a song (with a not very complimentary title) that sort of described your situation.  Some of the words go “You didn’t want him when he wanted you.  He’s found another love, it’s her he’s thinking of, and there’s not a single thing that you can do.”

But I’m going to be more optimistic than that!  You see, it is TOTALLY normal for a girl to be bothered by a boy who is interested in her between the ages of 6 and 12.  Most boys absolutely hate girls when they’re that age, and vice versa!

But now you’re at a point where he’s starting to look Continue reading

1 How to deal with loneliness

megane2 asks: What do you do when you have no one to talk to? When the only person who understands you is not with you and you’re not able to reach that person… When you have so much to say and to talk about but you feel totally alone? What should I do?

Hi Megane2 –

This is such a sad question.  Of course, I relate so well to it too.  Handsome leaves me at home alone nearly every day, and my heart just cries.  I like to spend time by myself, but that’s very different from being left alone.  Having no one to talk to, or play with, or just to pat my head, when I need it – that’s so lonely and painful.  I just hate it.  And I can tell you do too.

Here are ten ideas for things that you can do, though, when this happens.   Some of them are things I can’t do, so you’re luckier than me.  But all can be helpful, I promise.

1)    Write a journal.  One person you can always talk to is yourself!  Write out your feelings in a journal or diary.  And lots of times, you’ll find that the actual act of writing can help you work out some problems, just like telling a Continue reading

2 Should I try to take a boy away from his girlfriend?

Bella asks: Hi, I am in love with a guy, but he has a girlfriend. They have been going out for almost 4 years now. I’ve tried forgetting about him, but I can’t! They are thinking of getting engaged by the end of the year. The worst part is that she is one of my friends. What should I do????

Hi Bella –

There are some decisions in life where it’s clear that we should do what we want.  Then there are those where it’s kind of confusing.  And then there are those where it’s clear that we should give up.

For example, let’s talk about lamb roast.  Now I loooooooove lamb roast!  If Handsome is cooking one, I can smell it even before he starts the oven.  And then once the cooking starts, ooooooohhhhhhhhhh that aroma!  Luscious!

So let’s say that Handsome has roasted up a beautiful leg of lamb, and while he starts to carve it up for his guests, he hands me a beautiful juicy piece.  Should I take it?  Of course I should, are you nuts?!  I take it and then sit very politely on the floor, with perfect posture and my mouth just non-stop salivating and licking, and hoping for more.

But what if, say, Handsome accidentally drops a piece of that yummy Continue reading

1 How to salvage a broken friendship

megane2 asks: My best friend and I both had to move to different cities because of our parents’ work. Some complications and misunderstandings happened to us and her family does not like me and does not want us to talk or see each other again. It’s really hard. Sometimes I do talk to her online though when I get the chance, but otherwise we barely speak. I can’t call her because her family has caller ID. She is my best friend and like my sister and we’re really close, and now we’re just trying to keep in touch so we don’t lose our friendship… because friendship needs communication right? I feel like I have no one to talk to because she was the only one who understood me fully. Another thing is that I write her emails telling her what I’m up to and what’s new, and I wait for her reply, but she doesn’t care to. Sometimes I get the feeling she doesn’t want me anymore but I hurry and shake it off because she means so much to me. It really is hard. What should I do? Thanks and sorry for taking so long.

Hi megane2

This sounds really painful; but especially, it sounds Lonely!   It’s bad enough to live in a different city from your best friend, but then for her family to not like you makes it worse; and then for her to often not reply to you… that’s just awful!

So I’ve got all sorts of questions.  Like – was it just misunderstandings that turned her family against you, or was it something more; and why she isn’t replying (do they keep her from it, or is it her choice?).  So I’ll throw some thoughts at you, but please forgive me if I get some things Continue reading

0 How to deal with a sibling with abnormalities

Shefar asks: Hey, Shirelle! I have asked you a question before, so I won’t tell you about me again, but there is one thing you don’t know… I have a sister and she’s abnormal. I mean she’s not crazy, just that not normal like us. But she likes to win everything. She’s older than me, but things have to be fair, right? I mean now I fight with her and I am the one who always got blamed! She starts it and I am the one that’s got to be blamed! My parents really care about her cause she’s not “normal” and they always make me give up the fight… So can you give me any advice to put a stop to this fighting and always losing stuff?! I know it’s kinda complicated but I’ve only got you to tell me what to do.

Hi Shefar –

It would be easier for me to give you a specific answer if I knew what exactly your sister’s Abnormality was.  The way you describe it, though, it sounds like she has some sort of developmental delay, or perhaps some level of Autism.   If so, your frustration is VERY normal, in fact unavoidable.  I’ve known lots of kids in your situation, and it’s never easy.  I will give you some advice, but first I want to give you the good news:  growing up in this situation is going to make you a really great person, and others will be able to see it.

Meanwhile, though, it’s not Continue reading

0 How to tell if a boy staring at you actually likes you

1471999 asks: I am a 12 years old girl.A boy who is younger than me looks at me in the class very often. Does that means he loves me?

Hi 1471999 –

I need to split your question into two parts.  The first is the question of what the word “love” means.  There are other posts on this website about this – about how it’s different from a “crush,” about how real love takes time, etc.  You might want to check those out.

But the second, about what this boy is feeling?  My guess is that yes, he’s interested in you.  But be warned – he may not Continue reading

1 Should you stay with someone who’s insulting you

barbie girl neika asks: I like this guy who is 5 years older than me. We have been together for four years on and off, but we broke up. I still have feelings for him, but he cheated and lied to me, and when we broke up he and the same girl got in a relationship. They are even together now! He even let me talk to her on the phone! He calls her names like “princess” and “Mrs.”… I’m jealous. Do you think I should let him go????? I’m awaiting your answer

Oh Barbie Girl Neika –

I am SUCH a romantic!  I spend so much time on this website trying to help couples work through problems, often including how to deal with the fact that one of them has done something wrong to the other.

But every dog has a breaking point.  No matter how nice and cuddly and licky and sweet we are, if we get mad enough, the hair on our back sticks up and our fangs come out and we become wild wolves like our ancestors and just want to rip the guts out of what’s angering us.  This is one of those Continue reading