Category Archives for "Relationships"

1 How to get a shy boy to talk to you

Kritika asks: Thanks for your earlier answer, but you didn’t have the situation clear. Here it is: A boy came in my class to talk a guy, and all my friends were saying his name loudly, teasing me; he heard it all and he just stood there blushing, looking at me and smiling. Then again during my sports week he came to my friends’ group where I was sitting talking, and ignoring him, but I checked him many times starring at me. I told my friends that I should say “hi” at least to him, but they said “no don’t, or you will look like a wannabe or too easy!” I think he’s expecting me to go say hi or even to ask him out. What should I do?

Hi kritika –

Oh, this is all very good news!  I mean, I was thinking that he didn’t care about you much, but clearly, he likes you!

I understand your friends wanting you to “play hard to get,” but it sounds like he really doesn’t have the social knowledge of how to approach you (and your classmates aren’t making it any easier on the poor guy!).

The best thing I can think of is if you and he have any mutual friends, maybe you could talk to one of them, and explain that you like this guy but that he has to ‘be the boy’ and approach you!  Standing around grinning just won’t accomplish a Continue reading

0 How to tell a fake friend from a real one

Prettyndsweet12 asks: What is the difference between a real friend and a fake friend, and how can I tell my true friends and my fake friends???

Hi Prettyndsweet12 –

I wish I had an easy answer for you.  The truth is that you never know that someone’s a fake friend until it’s too late, and they’ve done something that hurts you.  And that can happen with a friend you’ve had for a week, or for ten years.  You just never Continue reading

0 What to do when your grades suddenly fall

ZeeTan99 asks: I am an A-grade student (13 yrs old) but the problem is that I’m pretty sure I’ll get a D or something in TWO SUBJECTS! Tomorrow I’m gonna get my report card, and I don’t know how I’m going to show it to my parents. I’m having nightmares about this, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. It’s got me really stressed you can’t imagine. So please please, tell me what to do. I’m very very confused and I could really use someone’s help.

Hi ZeeTan99 –

Oh I know that feeling!  It’s like when I was being perfectly good and quiet and watching out the window, and a cat suddenly appeared just outside, and I jumped up yelling and broke a pane of glass!  And I hadn’t meant to do it, but I knew Handsome was going to walk into the room and be very unhappy about it!  You’re in exactly the position I was in as I heard his footsteps approach the doorway!

But do you know what happened when he got to me?  Sure, he was shocked at what had happened.  But then he checked my nose and my paws, to make sure there wasn’t any glass in them, and then he put me out back, so I wouldn’t step on anything sharp, and then he cleaned all the glass up very carefully.  Because he was way more worried about me than he was upset about the broken glass.

Now sure, when he paid the glazier who repaired the pane, he did give me an exasperated look and mutter “You knucklehead!”  But overall, he reacted to my mistake with love and concern, not anger.

Now, there’s a good chance that, if you’re right about your grades, your parents will first react with Continue reading

0 What to do when someone you like is ignoring you

kritika asks: I am a 10th-grader, and I really like a guy in 12th, and he’s gonna graduate soon. I told my friend about him, and she told him about my feelings and gave me his number. We started msging. He knew what I felt for him and he was pretty cool with it. For a while we talked a lot (we even did some dirty talks for a while) but now he hardly replies. I think he’s ignoring me, and I really love him! What do you think I should do?

Hi kritika –

Thanks for your question about the boy at school.

This is a tough situation, and I’m sorry you’re finding yourself having to go through it.  I’m a big fan of face-to-face meetings, and this is a good example of why.  You see, messaging and texting are really easy, and one reason they are is that the person you’re talking with isn’t quite as “real” as they are in real life.  For example, you don’t have to deal with the fact that I rolled in a dead squirrel this morning, and I don’t have to deal with you being grossed out by the way I smell (which I consider better than the most expensive Continue reading

2 How to handle early sexual urges

Mandy asks: What is it with sex, that I keep on thinking about it? I dream of it every night and its scaring me. What should I do? I don’t want to lose my virginity, but I am thinking too much about it!

Hi Mandy –   Thanks for your very open and honest question.  I’m first going to suggest you read my post, responding to Angelbrat’s question about her survey on why teenagers think about sex so much.    So Mandy, beyond that, my general answer to your question is:  Why should you be different from every other teenager in the world?!  Of course you’re thinking about sex, dreaming about sex, and wanting it.   But there’s a great reason why these hormones don’t kick in till a kid reaches a certain age.  You see, if a little child felt these things, nothing would keep them from Continue reading

0 What to do when you’re attracted to a friend’s or relative’s spouse

Pradeep asks: I like my brother’s wife. She is so sexy and I like her very much. What should I do?

Hi Pradeep –

Oh boy is that a tough situation!  I usually suggest to people that they pursue the people they’re attracted to, but in your case, that would almost certainly be a disaster!

So here are my suggestions:

1)    Try to spend more time with other women.  Date other women.  Befriend other women.  Go see movies with lots of beautiful women in them.  Your sister-in-law may be wonderful, but she’s not the only beautiful, sexy, likable woman in the world.  Work to make yourself more aware of this.

2)    To whatever degree you can, it’s probably best to stay away from her for a little while.  I realize you like each other a lot, but this could get really painful for you, and you should be kind to your own Continue reading

0 What to do with someone you like who gives you mixed signals

Sumedha asks: There’s a guy whom I really like, but haven’t told him yet. In fact, like might not be the right word… it’s more than that I guess… and I know it sounds really silly but I cant really help it! And its difficult to understand him – sometimes he’s just too flirty and sometimes I think he’s dating someone else. One of my friends, who used to like the same guy, has even told him. He tried to handle the situation and said no, and then he stopped talking to her as much he used to do before. So now I’m afraid that the same thing could happen to me. If I don’t see him a single day I go mad; and I don’t know what to do. 🙁

Oh Sumedha –

I have so many questions on this website about crushes and how to talk to shy guys and all that kind of stuff, and I think it’d be great for you to look those up (just go onto the site and put words like “crush,” “shy,” or “like boy” into the Search box, and see what comes up).

But besides what all those say, this is a tough situation!  If I’m understanding you right, your friend told this guy you like him, and he said he wasn’t interested in you and stopped talking to her?!  But at the same time he’s really flirty with you?!

Well, my initial reaction is that he’s kinda Continue reading

0 Shirelle’s best dating advice

Tweety asks: I’m 14 years old – What’s your advice on dating and stuff?

Hi Tweety –

Oh there’s so much to say about dating, too much for a clear answer.  I can point you to a few of my favorite postings, though.  Maybe these will help you.  Just use the search box on this page to find:

–       Smokey’s question “When and how should teens Continue reading

0 What to do when the boy you love insists on kissing

Ritika asks: I am a 16 year old. There was this guy who I fell in love with. We dated for 4 1/2 months and then broke up because I did not want to kiss him. Then he asked my best friend out and she said no. Then after 3 months I started hanging out with another guy, and my ex got jealous and he asked me out. I said no. Now its been a month; he has found another girlfriend and is happy. But the truth is I have always loved him and still do. I get jealous of his girlfriend and cry a lot for him. My best friend doesn’t know that I still love him. It’s been one and a half years since I fell in love with him, and moving on is very hard for me. I just cannot let any other guy take his place, and now even if I have to kiss him to get him back I don’t mind. What should I do?

Wow Ritika!  You’ve lived a lifetime in the last couple of years, haven’t you!

I do have a thought for you, though.  I think the real issue here is that you might find that you actually like kissing!  It sounds to me like this boy is still interested in you, and his current relationship might not last that long.  If I’m right, then my advice is that you jump right in there when he’s available, and ask him out (don’t wait for him to ask you out; he probably won’t realize that you’re Continue reading

0 Who should know about teen pregnancy?

Bambam asks: who will benefit from talking about teen pregnacy and why??

Hi Bambam –

Thanks for your question about talking about teen pregnancy.

But I have to admit, it’s a pretty funny question in a way.  I mean, it’s not really going to do grandparents or monks a lot of good to talk about it, is it?  But there are three groups of people who should be talking about it – a lot!

The first is, of course, teenagers.  Teens need to be aware of the choices they have, the science of biology and anatomy, the laws about sex and parenthood, and most importantly, they need to know the truth about all these things, and not just some silly stuff someone made up for popularity or political Continue reading