How to get a shy boy to talk to you

Kritika asks: Thanks for your earlier answer, but you didn’t have the situation clear. Here it is: A boy came in my class to talk a guy, and all my friends were saying his name loudly, teasing me; he heard it all and he just stood there blushing, looking at me and smiling. Then again during my sports week he came to my friends’ group where I was sitting talking, and ignoring him, but I checked him many times starring at me. I told my friends that I should say “hi” at least to him, but they said “no don’t, or you will look like a wannabe or too easy!” I think he’s expecting me to go say hi or even to ask him out. What should I do?

Hi kritika –


Oh, this is all very good news!  I mean, I was thinking that he didn’t care about you much, but clearly, he likes you!


I understand your friends wanting you to “play hard to get,” but it sounds like he really doesn’t have the social knowledge of how to approach you (and your classmates aren’t making it any easier on the poor guy!).


The best thing I can think of is if you and he have any mutual friends, maybe you could talk to one of them, and explain that you like this guy but that he has to ‘be the boy’ and approach you!  Standing around grinning just won’t accomplish a thing!


But if you don’t have a person like that who you can use, is there a way you can contact him without asking him out, just to break through this wall?  Could you even call or write him, just to say “I’m flattered that you want to stand around and smile at me, but is there something you want to say?”


It sounds like he’s really nervous, and that might be because you haven’t been speaking to him.  So something just to break through that might be best.


But once you do that, if he doesn’t JUMP to respond to you…  well, maybe he’s just not ready for a girlfriend just yet!


Good Luck!



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sara - April 13, 2012 Reply

I don’t know why, but I have always been the type to come right out about things and just ask or say hi, but if he’s in your school then why don’t you say hi and get to know him – and if nothing else you could go over in the cafeteria and ask to sit at his table. You could also say something like “Hi, can I sit at this table?” and if you don’t want to seem like you’re going after him you could say you were avoding one of your friends because you were fighting!

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