Category Archives for "Relationships"

0 What present to give someone you’re dating

Sazuna45 asks: My friend’s second monthiversary is coming up and she doesn’t know what to give her boyfriend as a present. Do you have any suggestions?

Hi sazuna45 –

You know, humans really are a funny breed.  You care so much about calendars!  When Handsome comes home from work, I am absolutely thrilled to see him.  When he comes home on his birthday, or my birthday, or Christmas, or the day of the closing ceremony of the Olympics, my happiness is exactly the same.  And if he brings me a treat, I’m even happier – whether that’s because it’s my birthday or just that he has some leftovers from a good dinner.

You see, I’m perfectly happy to play along with the whole concept of holidays (although I do get very irritated when Handsome makes me wear Continue reading

0 How to tell a friend they’re dating a jerk

sazuna45 asks: I’m really confused. Two of my friends – close ones – are dating, but I know that the guy is hiding a lot from the girl. He told her he stopped drinking but in parties (when she’s not there) he gets drunk and flirts with other girls like a maniac. He even stole money from one of his friends and bought his girlfriend a bag. He’s on weed and he gets into fights against gangs and all. I know all this but I don’t know if I can tell, because she won’t believe me. What do I do?!

Hi sazuna45 –

Wow are you in a tough place with this question!  I have a few thoughts, but there’s no clear answer.

First – you say both of these are close friends of yours.  Are you sure you want to stay close friends with the boy?  He sounds like a lot of trouble to me.  When you mix drinking to excess, semi-cheating, stealing, drug use, and getting in fights…  Is this guy really one who can, to quote the old song “deserve you and be even worthy erv you”?!  Not to mention your girl friend, who he’s being way less than great to.

So one thing you can do is to Continue reading

2 What to do when your best friend moves away

prettyndsweet12 asks: My best friend moved today and it made me sad and I’m crying. How can I learn to cope with her being gone? She was my best friend, and school just doesn’t seem right without her.

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

Losing a best friend is always awful.  Whether it’s from an argument, or them moving away, or them being badly hurt, it’s guaranteed to make you feel terrible.  After all, how many things do we value as much as a best friend?  I hate it when I get a piece of chicken and Handsome pulls it out of my mouth (in fear the bones will splinter in my throat), but I get over it.  But some things are irreplaceable.  And Family and Friends top the list.

I’m not going to even begin to try to Continue reading

1 What to do if you’re in love with someone who’s treating you badly

London12 asks: My mate is going with his girlfriend, but also with me and another girl. The other girl told him she might be pregnant, and he told me that if she is then he is gonna leave me and his girlfriend and stay with the other girl, but he said if she’s not then he is gonna leave the other girl but also me! I love him so much I can’t let him go that easy. It breaks my heart to be away from him, and I really don’t want to lose him!

Hi London12 –

I’m normally very romantic, and try to encourage everyone to make relationships work if they can.  But yours is one of those cases where I really have to speak up and say my piece.  And it is: Continue reading

2 How to deal with someone else getting everyone’s attention and interest

Arjai101 asks: This guy at school just really gets on my nerves because everyone acts like the world revolves around him. Example: I compose my own classical piece on the guitar and it took me weeks nobody gives a care, he repeats the exact same punch line/ joke for the millionth time EVERYONE CARES. It’s like everyone cares about him at school and nobody notices anything that I do even if it took me forever whether its writing, basketball, chess, music I feel like no one at school gives a care. My friends are slowly drifting away and I feel like I have nothing to hold on to. He is ruining my life! He just dominates everything, so everyone cares. And it really hurts a lot. What should I do? I feel like I’m just drowning and there’s nobody here to save me.

Hi Arjai101 –

It sounds to me like you’re dealing with a very odd concept called Charisma.  Some people have tons of it, and others have little or none.  Charisma is that quality that makes someone exciting, attractive, and super-relevant to others.  All successful politicians have it; most movie and singing stars have it; and super-popular kids in school definitely have it.

What causes Charisma?  Well, good looks help, but some charismatic people aren’t wildly beautiful.  Intelligence, strength, and accomplishment help as well, but also aren’t absolutely necessary.  It really seems to be a mixture of a number of qualities.

But I do think there’s one quality that Charismatic people always have, which is a healthy (or unhealthy) level of something called Continue reading

0 How to help a friend who’s drawn to the same sort of guy who’s hurt her before

sazuna45 asks: A friend of mine went through a bad breakup two years ago. Her ex (who happens to be a ‘bad guy’ in the most decent language) dumped her on the phone and started dating another girl on the same week! (What an idiot!) Anyways, the problem is, my friend can’t move on. She got asked out by another guy, but she said she needs some time and she’ll answer him later. That guy is better, and he’ll probably take care of her, but he’s also a player. Better than her ex, but still a player. She shouldn’t say yes but she thinks she can move on if she dates another guy! I promised her I’d give her advice before she gives her answer and so I need suggestions from you. Can you please give me some advice? 🙂

Hi sazuna45 –

You know, the more I look at humans, the more I respect many things about them, but also, the more I find some aspects of them really silly.

Now I understand that if I get a chance to eat four pizzas in one night, I’m going to feel really bad in the morning, but if I get another chance to eat four pizzas I’m going to do exactly the same thing!  But when it comes to relationships, I take care of myself better than that.  I tend to run up and jump on people and assume they’ll like it, but if one of them kicks me, I’m going to avoid that person from then on.  And if I sense that someone else is going to be just like them, I’ll tend to avoid them too.  I don’t mean that it’s a great idea to be prejudiced about people, but I do believe in paying attention to what’s really Continue reading

0 What are a teenager’s options if they realize they like someone who likes them?

arjai101 asks: There’s this guy who seems to like me, and I think I like him back. Only thing is I don’t know how to deal with the situation now that I know what I want. I’ve never had a boyfriend before and my schedule is pretty hectic. I know it seems like I’m avoiding it, but its only because I don’t know what to do? How should I approach the situation, and what are my options?

Hi arjai101 –

Your question is a gigantic one, and a very smart one.  So many teens rush into relationships, thinking that they need to act like they know what they’re doing, when they don’t at all!  You’re being very smart.  You “think” you like this guy back, and you don’t know what to do.

So my first advice is… stay cautious!  I don’t mean that there’s any reason to fear him, but just let things take their time.  He’s showing you he’s interested, so give him the chance to Continue reading

0 Why do we feel so uncomfortable when we see someone we’re attracted to?

burger143 asks: Why do I always feel uncomfortable every time I see my special someone? Is there anyway to stop this feeling?

Hi burger143 –

What you’re describing is absolutely universal.  When we feel (and yes I mean “we” – even we dogs have this!) a huge fondness for someone, everything about them becomes enormously important.  So the sort of stomach-ache you might normally feel only before a big test or speech will show up every time that “special someone” appears!  After all, if that person smiles at you, your world is glorious; if they don’t, you’re devastated.  So your body is just reacting to the stress that causes!

The only way to stop that feeling is to stop Continue reading

1 How to get someone to stop pursuing you

Crystal asks: There’s a man who has been crazy in Love with me for about five years. I don’t feel anything for him, and I don’t want to. He is good at studying and can say is a good guy, but he is not my type. He is one year my senior and we are in same grade in high school. He is poor and we have different religions. Furthermore, he said he can’t stop this and thinks he’ll feel it forever. Whenever he sends a message to me, I have always ignored it because I’m getting bored with this. What should I do?

Hi Crystal –

This is very hard for me to say, because I am a hugely romantic-minded dog, and love the idea of forever-romance.  But the fact is, this guy is wrong.  His feelings for you will not last forever.

Look, I’m a dog, and no one loves stronger and more passionately than we do.  But if we like someone who consistently ignores or rejects, or even lashes out, at us, we’ll eventually stop being interested in them.  And similarly, if we have an owner we love enormously, who sells or gives us away to someone else, we’ll learn to love those new owners in just that way (though it might take a long time), and kind of forget our first ones.

Now humans have much bigger brains than we do, which makes you smarter and more stubborn!  So I’m not saying that getting this guy to move on in his life will be as easy as it would be if he were a Schnauzer.  But the truth is, he will move on.

Your job is to find ways to make it happen Continue reading

0 What to do when your girlfriend doesn’t want sex

jaatt asks: I am very shy. I want to have sex with my girlfriend, but she doesn’t like sex. So please tell me how I can force her into happy sex.

Hi jaatt –

Okay, let’s start with one simple statement, that means a GIGANTIC amount:  You should not, EVER, force anyone into sex.

I realize that lots of my Pack members aren’t that great with English, and so you might not have meant your question the way it came out.  But that’s really the point about this issue: you need to be extra-super-careful to make sure of two things:  first, that you never make someone feel like they’re being forced into sex; and second, that you never let anyone misinterpret that you have Continue reading