London12 asks: My mate is going with his girlfriend, but also with me and another girl. The other girl told him she might be pregnant, and he told me that if she is then he is gonna leave me and his girlfriend and stay with the other girl, but he said if she’s not then he is gonna leave the other girl but also me! I love him so much I can’t let him go that easy. It breaks my heart to be away from him, and I really don’t want to lose him!
Hi London12 –
I’m normally very romantic, and try to encourage everyone to make relationships work if they can. But yours is one of those cases where I really have to speak up and say my piece. And it is:
This guy is dating three girls at the same time, calling only one of them his girlfriend, and might have gotten the other one pregnant? And he’s telling you that he’ll leave you for one of the other two, depending on what he finds out about the pregnancy?
This guy is TERRIBLE for you! London12, this world has three and a half billion male human beings in it. Out of those, I promise you, there is at least one who would treat you better than this! In fact, I’ll bet you could find millions!
Some women refer to guys like this as “dogs,” which I find very personally offensive. Dogs are loyal, trustworthy, and caring, and would NEVER treat anyone like this.
You might not be in the mood for a fully-committed monogamous relationship right now. That’s fine. But you should be in an equal one. If he dates around, you should be able to date around. And you should be in an honest one, where he’s not hiding and lying about his girls.
Life can – and will – be so much better when you’re with someone who treats you the way you deserve. This isn’t that guy. This guy is going to get in GIGANTIC trouble with those other two women, and you will be much happier if you’re far away when that happens!
I know you really like him, and that it’ll be hard to move on. But he’s not giving you any choice, London12. Bite the bullet, cry your eyes out, and leave him behind. It won’t be easy, but it’ll be so much better. I promise.
All my best,