Sazuna45 asks: My friend’s second monthiversary is coming up and she doesn’t know what to give her boyfriend as a present. Do you have any suggestions?
Hi sazuna45 –
You know, humans really are a funny breed. You care so much about calendars! When Handsome comes home from work, I am absolutely thrilled to see him. When he comes home on his birthday, or my birthday, or Christmas, or the day of the closing ceremony of the Olympics, my happiness is exactly the same. And if he brings me a treat, I’m even happier – whether that’s because it’s my birthday or just that he has some leftovers from a good dinner.
You see, I’m perfectly happy to play along with the whole concept of holidays (although I do get very irritated when Handsome makes me wear Halloween costumes). But the truth is EVERY day is a holiday for us, because I love him so much. And I’m absolutely loaded with love and happiness and gratitude, every chance I get to be with him, no matter which day of which month it is.
Now of course, there’s lots that’s really nice and fun about holidays, and that’s great. But there’s also SO much anxiety that humans get over them. Are all the Passover foods prepared just right? Do you have a new dress for the family pictures that’ll be taken? And most of all, you guys have all that anxiety about Gifts!
I don’t know if Handsome ever worried about what to get me as a present, but if so, he was absolutely crazy! Do I care what sort of dog treats he gets me? Of course not! And with leftovers, the only thing he should worry about is if there’s anything unhealthy in them. Otherwise, I’m absolutely ecstatic at whatever he brings. But humans?! I’ve seen marriages nearly break up over an inappropriate present, I’ve seen families hold on forever to the memory of an ill-chosen gift… and then we get to romantic holidays, and… oh heaven help us all! What’s the appropriate birthday gift for someone you’ve been on three dates with? What about a Christmas gift for someone you’ve had a crush on for six months? And when it comes to Valentine’s Day?! I have seen relationships break up over someone giving too small or too big a gift.
It’s all crazy!
And now, your friend is coming up with a new holiday! She’s been dating this boy for two months, and is asking for the appropriate gift?
sazuna45, I have absolutely no idea what to suggest! The fact is, they’re dating, and so he probably feels toward her something like what I feel toward Handsome. So the gift she’s giving is for her to still be there, making him really happy! Do they hold hands? Then her hand is the gift. Do they kiss? Then her kiss is the gift. And his gift to her is him!
But that’s a dog’s opinion, and as I said above, I know that humans put a lot of meaning onto these gifts that I don’t really get. So here’s my best suggestion: over the last two months, your friend has gotten to know a lot of things about this boy that she didn’t know before. A good gift would honor that. If she could give him a gift that showed she really listened to him, really paid attention to what he likes and wants… especially if it could be something that no other friend of his would know. That would be wonderful. Did he once mention loving an old song? Maybe she could buy a CD with that song on it for him. Did he say he’d love to travel somewhere? Maybe she could buy him a book of pictures of that place. And again, the more special it is, the more it shows how she listens to him, and understands him, the better.
There’s lots of time ahead for super-romantic gifts. Flowers, chocolate, and so on. But anyone can buy someone flowers. If she gives him something that no one else would know to do, I think that would really be special.
On the other hand, if that’s not really doable, I’ll tell ya, you can never go wrong with leftover pizza!!