Category Archives for "Relationships"

2 Even Though – a guide to gratitude in 2021

            In the United States, where I live, we have a lovely holiday.  Lovely for two reasons.  One is that its only major ritual is cooking and eating a huge meal – huge enough that we pet-pups are pretty much guaranteed leftovers!

            But the other loveliness is the meaning of it.  It’s a day all about gratitude. 

            The legend (and the more historical discoveries that come out, the more it seems to be… yeah… a legend!) is that when a group of religious refugees came here from England in the 1600s, the local people helped teach them how to survive in this harsh new environment.  And to show their appreciation, the English pilgrims set up a great feast, sharing all they’d grown and caught with those who taught them how to do so.

            Now I’m not going to go into the details of what of that is true, or the horrors of what the Europeans later did to those local residents.  But I do love that it eventually resulted in a day of gratitude.  A holiday for everyone.

            Some time back, when The Pawprint was new, I put out a list every year at this time, of what I was grateful for that year.  It might be something exciting and hopeful in international relations, or some music that Handsome played a lot and I liked the sound of, or maybe just something tasty I’d had the day before.  Whatever came to my mind.

            But as optimistic and cheerful a pup as I am, creating such a list would be hard this year!  Everything I can think of to be thankful for has a darker underside, a “Yeah But.”  Happy about a beautiful day?  Yeah, but climate change is taking those away.  Happy about a dear friend?  Yeah, but what about the ones you’ve lost to this awful pandemic?

            But I refuse to sit in resentment and misery!  That’s just not what dogs are about!

            So instead, this year I’m going to offer an “Even Though” list of Thanksgiving.  Not denying what’s wrong, but focusing on what I’m thankful for. 

            You see, I find that, when we do that, it makes us see yet more to be thankful for, and helps us create a world more worthy of that gratitude.

            And that creates hope.  The most powerful force I know, next to love.

            Here Goes:

            EVEN THOUGH the Glasgow Climate Change Conference didn’t come up with nearly enough solutions to our problems, more was agreed upon than ever before, and directions were set for future improvements.

EVEN THOUGH variants and fear have kept the stupid Coronavirus raging for another year, medical discoveries, international assistance, and growing awareness and knowledge keep us moving toward a new day of embracing and enjoying each other fearlessly again.

EVEN THOUGH the political system in my country is rife with forces keeping improvements at bay, the horrific top-down corruption and murderous neglect of the past four years has ended, and good people are able to at least try to make things better.

            EVEN THOUGH Handsome’s work keeps him away too much, he still gives me treats every time he leaves, which eases my heartache.

            EVEN THOUGH the stupid virus has still reduced attendance at plays, movies, concerts, and sports events, they’re all coming back, spitting in the face of the disease that tried to destroy them.

            EVEN THOUGH, on that note, most people aren’t able to see it on the big screen, In the Heights is a really fun movie that makes pretty much everyone who sees it happy and want to dance.

            EVEN THOUGH it’s still hard for young people to meet up freely, love continues to bloom and offer hope to all.

            EVEN THOUGH it’s still hard for anyone to meet up freely, technology has allowed for virtual face-to-face meetings that have kept humans at least somewhat connected (though we dogs miss smelling everyone SO MUCH).

            EVEN THOUGH international trade is blocked up in so many ways, most of us can still find something to eat, or ways to help feed those who can’t.

            EVEN THOUGH everyone is living in fear, and many get sick or even die every day from this awfulness, people still find joy and reasons to love life every second.

            And toughest of all to say, EVEN THOUGH we have lost beings we love and will always feel the pain of that loss, that pain comes because of the beautiful memories and the profound ways those now-angels have affected and changed us forever. 

            And maybe that last one is the greatest gratitude of all.

            Happy Thanksgiving, wherever you are.  And may next year bring countless reasons for gratitude that don’t require “Even Though”s!

            Like my gratitude for you!

            Love and Thanks as always,

            Shirelle

0 What to do when you realize you’ve let things go too far in a new relationship

jhalli asks:

One day I was scrolling my Ok-Cupid Id and found a guy.  He’s overseas for his Masters study. We talk with each other and shared our number. We did a voice call and shared many things like my past relationships, his past relationships and flings, and what he and I want from us.  He said he wanted a serious relationship and I wanted that too. He explained me that he will come to India in December, and after his masters, he will look for a job back there. As we live so far from each other, not able to meet face to face frequently, he explained me that he will ask for photos and videos.  In this week, we barely talked about being together in relationship, as he was always busy with final project submission on coming Friday. He promised me that he would be totally free after submission and talked to me after this Friday. We did a video call three times. In these video call, he saw me with only a towel and I saw him all naked. I teased him with a lot of my intimate photos and videos (bare back, and bare shoulders, etc).  But yesterday, I blocked him from everywhere I don’t know why. 
My friends are saying he is not a good person and he will wrongly use my photos/videos. That I should find someone real not virtual. I don’t know what I should do? Should I trust him and give him or us a chance to move further in this?

Hi Jhalli –

I have to say, for the first ¾ of your letter, I was absolutely charmed.  What a beautiful story, how wonderful that two such lovely people met and connected this way.  And then, of course, when it got to the video calls, suddenly I got concerned.

Let me start by saying I have no idea whether this guy is good or bad, and nothing he’s done tells me one way or the other.  So I’m not going to push you toward or away from him.

But I do think what’s really important here is your own sense of your own boundaries. I don’t think you’ve done anything too awful (can he really get much use out of displaying a photo of your bare back?), but  you clearly did things you don’t feel comfortable with.  And that’s all that matters to me.

I’m sure that he was shocked when you blocked him, no matter what his intentions were.  And so my inclination is that you ought to reconnect with him, just so you both can discuss what happened.

But here’s my big argument – if and when you do reconnect with him, I think you need to explain that what made you run away and block him was that you guys went too far for you.  WAY too far.  And whatever happens between you, this can’t happen again.

Then you can see how he responds.  If he agrees, and says he’s sorry if you felt pressured, and all he wants is to create a beautiful relationship with you, and he feels stupid for letting things go so far…  I’m really inclined to suggest that you give him another chance.

And if he instead laughs at your feelings, and calls you prudish, and says you’re stupid to worry about such things… then maybe your friends have a good point and he’s someone to let go.

But for now, you don’t know.  All you know is that you and he both got swept up in your love for each other and your mutual attraction, and let things go way further than you feel is appropriate (and let’s be honest, I love being chased by boy dogs in the dog park, and I’ll bet it was really exciting and fun to pose for those pictures and see how excited he got looking at your beauty!).

So I’d say to see what happens.  But more simply, I’m saying to be kind, but especially be kind to yourself.  Which means to be strong.

You’re worth it.

Best of Luck!

Shirelle

0 What to do when your boyfriend wants you to loan money to his family

K-Xengah asks: Hi Shirelle,

Once upon a time my relationship was great. I had an understanding partner who respected me and was always there for me. But things just slowly started changing ever since he started having intense family drama. He’s in the relationship but not there. He always wants me to be there for him but can’t be there for me. It feels like he is there for everyone else but me. And what stresses me out is that he never understands when I can’t help him out with something. Sometimes it just feels like I always have to be ready to always be more there for him than I am there for myself.  For instance today he was supposed to send money to one of his relatives but was short of a certain amount, and because of that his family kept putting him under pressure to send the money. So he asked me for a small top up, which I didn’t have. And he wanted me to credit from someone, and I made it clear to him that it wasn’t a guarantee I would find the amount because I already owe people money because of him. And I expected him to understand. He told me to call him at a certain time to tell him if I got the money but I didn’t do that cause I was still trying to find the money, and failed at it. Not knowing he had gone to get money from some drug dealer which “I was supposed to help him pay back” without me knowing or asking me. And now he gets upset with me because I don’t have the money when he didn’t even inform me of his decision in the first place.  I’m just really tired of this stagnancy and these issues. They are emotionally draining. Please advise.

Hi K-Xengah –

I have to say, my feelings about this guy changed throughout reading your letter.  At first my sense was that this was a great guy who cared about his family and you often felt “second place” in his consideration; that happens a lot, and there are very good ways to deal with it.  Then it got to being about money, and that made me a bit concerned; “he wants her to loan his family money?  I’m not so sure about this…”  Then it got to you saying you were already in debt because of money you’d given him, and then this whole thing with him getting money from a drug dealer and saying you’ll pay them back?

My opinion of him has turned completely.

My friend, the issue here isn’t about his family or how he deals with them.  It’s about how he treats you.   No matter how much pressure his family puts on him, it’s unfair of him to ask you to come up with the money.  And any guy who’d take a loan from a criminal and give them your name to pay it back is my idea of complete bad news.  All the way.

I realize that in the past he was great, but for whatever reasons there might be, now he’s not.  My advice – harsher than I usually give – is for you to let him know that your relationship is off for now, and that you don’t even want to hear from him until he’s paid the drug dealer off.  Then you two can talk about creating a better relationship – which likely does mean he’s going to need to tell certain family members that they need to find other sources of cash than him. 

But that’s a longer-term issue for him.  Right now I want you safe.  And as great a guy as he might be in other ways, or have been in the past, he’s breaking the one biggest rule any boyfriend has, which is to protect his partner from harm.  He’s putting you into harm instead.  And that just has to end.

Okay, enough of a barking rant on my side.  You said that you’re tired of the stagnation, while I’m responding to fear of you being in danger.  Both are true, and you deserve better, and my guess is that your boyfriend knows that.

Help him be better.  It’ll be good for both of you.

All my best,

Shirelle

0 Is it wrong to be bothered by my boyfriend hanging out with other people all the time?

kiara123 asks: Hey! I’ve been with this boy for almost 2 years now. We’re long distance and I feel like I’ve started to become toxic. I love him a lot but I don’t understand why I get jealous when he’s out partying or planning trips with his friends. I have no friends at all so I think I don’t understand how life really is with friends. I know all these feelings are wrong and toxic but I just don’t know how to help it. I try really hard to make myself understand that it’s ok and I never tell him what to do. I don’t wanna be a controlling girlfriend and I want him to be happy but I can’t seem to get rid of this miserable feeling. His friends drink and smoke a lot and are kind of cheap so that makes me a bit insecure. There are a couple of things that bother me besides this. He uses Snapchat a lot and that’s fine by me. He can snap anybody he wants but he doesn’t send me snaps. I think he sends snaps to everyone except me and that hurts. He does send me a snap separately but it’s just a black screen. It’s not like I wanna know what he’s doing or where he is, it’s just that i don’t want him sending snaps to people and not me.

Hi kiara123 –

I can really relate!  When Handsome goes out to work or to meet with friends, he almost always locks me in the yard.  Sure, he gives me a goodbye kiss and tells me how much he cares about me – but then he heads off and does whatever with all these other people, and sometimes with other dogs!  Do I think he’s purposely being mean to me?  No.  Do I think he’s doing anything out there that would upset me?  No.

But do I like it when he does it?  ABSOLUTELY NOT!

Now in my case, he often doesn’t have a choice.  There are laws about where he can and can’t take a dog.  But that’s not true for you.  So in your case, I have a question:

Why can’t you be there?

If he’s hanging out with all-male groups, especially if they’re doing things you don’t like, okay, I can see that.  But the rest of the time, why is he leaving you behind? 

And I’m asking sincerely.  It might be that he would like to have you around, but feels you would be unhappy there, or make him feel bad for having the fun he’s having.  And if that’s the case, maybe it’s something you could adjust.  For example, while you might not drink or smoke, if you’re with him when he’s doing that, you could be the designated driver, helping everyone get home safely and without any legal trouble.

Or is it that he’s excluding you?  Is he choosing to go out with others, and send pictures to others, keeping you out of it all, for some reason of his own?  If so, I think it would make a lot of sense for you to find out why!  It doesn’t make you a “controlling girlfriend” to ask him.  In fact, it could help your relationship along, by helping you understand him better.

And I’ll throw in another thought.  Maybe it’s time for you to get some friends of your own.  Not that they’d be against your relationship with him, but just friendships alongside it.  So you’d have people to talk with and go out with as well.  Just because you haven’t had such friendships doesn’t mean you couldn’t get some now!

But regardless of that, see if you can get to the bottom of why he’s doing these things.  Just because I’m locked in with no one to talk to but the squirrels and birds doesn’t mean you have to be!

All my best,

Shirelle

0 What to do when you hate your father and think all men will be like him

Soumyaguna asks:

My problem is somewhat serious and hard to handle.

It’s about my father

Father has always been a Hero figure for almost every kid since their childhood reflecting strength and having a back every time and Mother being the righteous figure of nature, morals and ethics.

But for me these figures didn’t last long, not even 10 years.

I don’t know why my men are so dominating. My father may be a good father, but he was never a good MAN, husband or anything.

He became my example of how men are from the start, which I used to hate a lot.

Later I tried a lot to change my perception and try to understand him, but whenever I try to do so, I end up releasing new facts about him which leads me to hate him even more. 

This man has always tortured my mother mentally, hurts her, disrespects her. Whenever it has been in front of me, I have always stood by her like a pillar and yelled at him a lot of times. 

But every time he starts off idiot drama by saying, “yes when I’ll die, everything will be sorted.”

I’m always alone in this fight.

My mother doesn’t speak up for herself fearing maybe he’ll harm himself and things will go worse.

My elder sister also keeps mum fearing what if they part their ways.

But I’m not okay with any of this, why will she suffer every time. Whenever he is angry, frustrated, he takes it out on mother. He disrespects her so freaking much.

And above all this he talks nicely about mother’s friends, he kind of flirts with them too.

such an insult he is for me. 

I’m ashamed that this man is my father

I want to take a way out, I don’t know what to do.

I want my mother happy, I even want my father to actually die.

Please help me in taking out a solution which will be good for everyone.

Hi Soumyaguna –

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this.  In a way you’re dealing with something everyone has to go through, but you’ve got an especially awful case of it.

Children and Puppies are born programmed to trust and idolize the humans that care for them.  They believe those adults are perfect, because if they don’t, the world is too terrifying for them to survive. 

In dogs, this belief might last an entire lifetime.  In humans, though, we count on it going away eventually.  This usually happens in the teen years, when humans start questioning all sorts of authority – their teachers, their religions, their governments… and especially their parents.  We hear about it all the time, teens rebelling for no reason, driving parents nuts with their sullenness or anger.  “It’s a phase.”  Right?

Well in your case, no, it’s more than a phase.  You have some real problems about your father, and about your parents’ marriage.  And it drives you nuts that you haven’t been able to solve them.

And here’s the awful news.  Most likely, you can’t. 

Your mother has chosen to stay in this relationship, for whatever reasons she has.  And whether it’s due to his creating fear of him hurting himself, or just because she feels she doesn’t deserve (or can’t get) something better, that has kept this dynamic going.

But you do have a job here.  The job every person has in their family.  The job of making a life that’s better than the one you were born into.

In many cases, parents work terribly hard at jobs they hate so they can send their children to school to get better and better-paying jobs.  In others, parents dream of their kids living healthier lives than theirs. 

In your case, your job is to find – and create – better relationships than this. 

I promise you, all men aren’t like your dad.  (At the very least, I can tell you that my human, Handsome, is kind and generous to a fault, especially to me!)  There are men out there who are kind and nurturing and loyal and want nothing more than to make their partners and children happy. 

In fact… are you sitting down?…  MOST men are like that!

Your job – and it might be a lifelong struggle – will be to build relationships with men that aren’t like your parents’ marriage.  It won’t be easy.  You’ll find a guy who seems great and then for some reason starts acting just like your dad.  Can you change him?  Or do you have to leave?  You’ll have to decide those things for yourself.  (And just to be clear, even if you end up having romantic/sexual relationships with women instead, you will still have many other kinds of relationships with men – as coworkers, as neighbors, as family, maybe your sons!)

But no matter what, I promise you, a better life lies ahead.  And as you create it, your mother will watch you and, even if she can’t say it in words, her heart will be so happy to see what you accomplish.  And who knows, maybe over time your creating a better life might even inspire your dad to change his ways, at least a little.

It’s happened before!

So go forward with hope and love.  You can do this!

All my best,

Shirelle

0 What to do when another girl answers his phone

Juicybest asks:

I’m in a new relationship that’s barely up to a month, I called my boyfriend three days ago at night; a girl picked up his call and started asking me who I am.  In the background I could hear him telling her to stop and give the phone back… do you think I should let go of the relationship?

Hi Juicybest –

Okay, as a dog I have a pretty limited imagination, and even I can come up with a few scenarios for this situation:  She’s his sister, she’s his ex who was there trying to win him back, she’s a friend who thought this was funny, she’s… 

I don’t know.  And neither do you.

But you do know someone who does know, who knows everything you want to know: 

HIM!

I can’t guarantee that what he says will be true, but the only way for you to comfortably move forward is to ask him what was going on.

But wait – this happened three days before you wrote me?  What’s he said in the meantime?  Have you guys talked?  At all?  Has he offered any sort of explanation?  Have you confronted him on this?

If you can let me know what he’s said (if anything), I might be able to help more.  But for now, just give him a chance to respond.  Then, if his response stinks… sure, throw him out with the garbage!  But if it’s okay and sounds believable?  Maybe he deserves your trust for at least a bit more.

Good Luck!

Shirelle

0 Is it okay to prefer to be alone?

Scarlett4 asks:

I am taking care of myself, but sometimes I feel like not to talk to anyone, just simply be in my company? Is it bad that I am loving this phase of staying alone manifesting and doing things of my own?

Hi Scarlett4 –

My friend, no one has ever been more social than your friend Shirelle.  I love my human friends, my doggy friends, and strangers of all species.  To me, waking in the morning is an invitation to excitement, my chance to meet, to interact, to jump on and lick everyone possible!

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t also love time alone.  Sitting in the yard watching for squirrels, or just sleeping under a tree.  Or, my greatest love, spending long afternoons and evenings with Handsome, watching him work or playing catch or taking walks or just lying nearby, loving feeling him close at hand.

Everyone needs both – time with others and time alone.  And no two beings are exactly alike.  Some people are called Extroverts, because most of their energy is about (and created by) others.  While others are called Introverts, as they are usually happiest (and charged up by being) alone.  There is nothing better or worse about either.  Politicians and salespeople pretty much have to be extroverts, while authors and composers have to be introverts. 

The only thing wrong with spending your time alone, my friend, is if you do it so much that you lose the ability to be comfortable with others.  So do spend some time in the company of other people.  But if you mostly like being alone, and are productive and happy when you are – no one has the right to tell you that’s wrong. 

And this puppy sure won’t try!

All my best,

Shirelle

0 How to stop resenting that you always help others

Soumyaguna asks:

I am really happy that I have built myself up and taken away all the negative aspects of my life, and began to be busy in my working schedule. BUT, I am unable to take off the part of helping each and every one who is around me. They just use me for their sake and just vanish. I tried hard to not to interfere in into anyone’s problem but then I end up jumping into them and finding a solution, eventually hurting myself all again. Anyways these are part of life, I understand, but recently I was diagnosed with this weird disease, i.e VITILIGO. I’m very depressed due to this fact, I can’t look myself in mirror and above that I’m all alone in this. My parents just poke me every single day even after knowing, and they just don’t understand my feelings. They just think about their own. At times I feel like not being here anymore, but then I make myself strong and try to overcome it… but now, It’s getting too much for me. I can’t take this anymore, I am aware of the fact that there is no treatment for the same, but then my parents tend to poke and never really miss the chance of hurting me. Being in that state I am unable to stay the way I am. I never used to apply makeup on my skin – everyone used to say I don’t need that – but now I have to apply it to hide the vitiligo scars and my parents blame me for this; they say it’s because you used to see yourself in mirror and such.

0 If a person is pushing for my attention, are they actually interested in me too?

Ars asks:

I liked a girl from a very long time ago whom I know about and she also knows about me and over the years I fallen for her. Then one day I confessed my feelings to her, that I like her and I am in love and all, and she rejected me. Now she is showing interest in me – she texts me and even she feels jealous of me being with another girls or hanging out and posting pictures which she doesn’t like. Yes, I had a thought that she is wanting my attention but she even asked for a date with me on a phone call since we are not living too close to each other, and she always asks if I have another girlfriend or not. She also friend-zoned me, telling that we can be friends, but she always complains that I am not talking to her for too long and shows jealous behavior also when I am with another girl, and talks about my interests and… all confusing behavior. Shirelle. is there any chance of a mind change or is she an attention seeker? Please help me out.

Hi Ars –

            So I think I want to restate your question.  Because there is no doubt that she wants attention.  But is that all she wants?  That’s what matters.

            When Handsome was a child, he and his parents went to a shelter to see about getting a dog.  They passed a good-looking one in a cage who was pawing at the gate, trying to get out.  But when the worker opened the gate, the dog backed up, scared.  The worker said that this showed that the dog was smart – he knew he wanted out, but didn’t know whether he could trust them.  Over time, the dog proved to be great, and very friendly.

            Is that this girl?  When you told her your feelings, did she just back up out of initial nervousness, but then, over time, learn to trust you, and then start wanting your loving attention more and more?  Really hoping, like that pooch, to have as much of you as she can?

            Or is she someone who isn’t really interested in you, but likes attention?  So when you expressed desire for a relationship, she (with honesty) said no.  But then, as you (nobly) stepped away, she went “Wait, but I like you being interested in me, and I don’t want you to stop – even if I’m not going to actually accept you!”

            And here’s my bad news:  I have no idea which of those is true.

            But I have a suggestion.  You see, Ars, I’m a big believer that life is only worth living if you take chances for good things.  Especially when the risk is low. 

            Now if, say, you had a crush on a famous movie star, and you thought, “I know what to do – I’m going to break into her home, sneak up to her bedroom, and before she awakens, tie her up, so she’ll stay and listen to me and learn how I love her and she’ll fall in love with me and we’ll live happily ever after,” I might suggest that that’s not such a good idea. 

            But should you ask out a woman you have loved, who’s expressing interest in you now?  What might you lose?  A little pride if she says no?  (Certainly you’d lose a lot less than you would for breaking, entering, and assault of a movie star!)

            In fact, I’d even argue that you’d gain more than you’d lose either way.  If she agrees to date you and is everything you’ve ever dreamt, then GREAT!  And if she flakes out on you?  Then you have the answer to your question, and can move on from this (while being very grateful that you learned this in such an easy way).

            So my suggestion is to go right back to her, ask her on a date, and see what happens. 

            And then my request is to PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

            Best of Luck!  I’m very hopeful!

            Shirelle

0 Will a relationship be doomed due to age difference or body type?

Awerpia asks:

I really love this girl yet I sometimes question myself if I’m making the right decision. She’s 3 years older than me and I sometimes get scared that she might outgrow me. If really she will be able to respect me as a husband rather than like a younger brother. And I ask myself, what if she grows faster and no longer attracts me. That’s one fear I really have and she keeps telling me if I find someone younger she will not hold it against me but I can’t really imagine dumping her. My conscience will judge me. And secondly I don’t even know how life without her would be like. She’s really made me fall deeply in love with her. And of late I feel really insecure about my manhood. My girlfriend always makes me feel like I’m the sexiest man in the world, though I know I’m “not as much” as other men in my “manhood.”  What if she meets other men who are more endowed? She will never appreciate me again. I’m really worried. 

Hi Awerpia –

Thanks for your letter about your two worries.

Let me take on each one separately.

Your first concern, about age, is definitely legitimate.  You two are already facing spending time apart, and girls are normally a bit more mature than boys of the same age, so that puts even more age difference between you, on an emotional level.  She very well may meet someone she likes and feels is more right for her than you, or you might meet someone you feel more right about than her.  Either of these would be normal and, while heartbreaking in the short term, okay for both of you in the long run.

Don’t get me wrong – I love the love story of you two, and would love it to work out.  But there are lots of factors working to make one or both of you look elsewhere, and age is yet another.

On the other hand, though, I’m not all that worried about you losing interest in her because she ages.  As humans get older, the difference of a few years means less and less.  It’s easy to tell the difference between, say, a ten-year-old girl and a thirteen-year-old.  But harder to tell the difference between a twenty-year-old and a twenty-three-year old.  And when we talk about a forty-year-old and a forty-three-year-old, no one can tell.  Other factors will play a far bigger part in how a person looks at that age (diet, exercise, genetic tendencies, etc.).  If you two are still attracted to each other enough to marry in a few years, I am not worried that her age will be an issue after that.  Not at all.

Okay, now onto the other issue.  Your “manhood.”  Men tend to worry enormously about this issue, and I find that only a very few women focus nearly as much on it.  In fact, most women find men’s concerns about it irritating!  It’s not that they don’t care about a man’s size at all – it’s just that there are so many other things that mean more to them. 

Clearly your girlfriend feels that way.  She’s no more thinking about men with larger projectiles than you are wondering “Gosh, is there a girl just like her but with larger breasts?”  She loves you, and has enjoyed her intimate encounters with you enough that she’s considering spending the rest of her life with you.  That must mean you’re pretty much what she wants!

Men also have a mistaken idea that women always want “bigger.”  Not true.  Some well-endowed men have trouble finding women they don’t hurt in sex, or who can satisfy them!  Again, this concept of being rated based on the size of this one body part tends to be something men and boys focus on, not girls so much.

So, as so often, my advice to you is to worry about these things less.  I can’t promise you two will always be together, but if neither your age nor your anatomy has kept you apart yet, I don’t think either of those is worth your concern now.

With love, from a dog whose ears and nose are definitely way bigger than yours!

Shirelle