Category Archives for "Growing Up"

1 What to do if you’re in love with someone who’s treating you badly

London12 asks: My mate is going with his girlfriend, but also with me and another girl. The other girl told him she might be pregnant, and he told me that if she is then he is gonna leave me and his girlfriend and stay with the other girl, but he said if she’s not then he is gonna leave the other girl but also me! I love him so much I can’t let him go that easy. It breaks my heart to be away from him, and I really don’t want to lose him!

Hi London12 –

I’m normally very romantic, and try to encourage everyone to make relationships work if they can.  But yours is one of those cases where I really have to speak up and say my piece.  And it is: Continue reading

0 How to confront someone you believe robbed you

Hachiko asks: I have a feeling my house maid stole my earphones. I saw her with them twice (not directly though, like when she wears her scarf I saw a white thing – my ear-phones are white – and when I asked to see what it was, she put it in her bra!) I know I’m just a kid but I don’t like seeing people steal or lie. Also, she has friends here who she can just give things to and hide them. I figure that since you’re a dog and dogs are great in catching thieves, you’d have some good advice! 😉

Hi Hachiko –

I don’t know if there’s anything worse than losing trust in someone.  We all live our lives assuming we know who we can trust and who we can’t.  It’s as much a part of our comfort in our homes as our beds.  And when we suddenly stop trusting someone close to us, it’s just like a leg on our bed breaking.  Everything feels insecure and un-level.  And life becomes really miserable.

Of course I have no idea whether this woman stole your earphones, or if you accidentally lost them and she was hiding something else.  What I do know is that, if she did take them, your asking her about that “white thing” means she knows you’re suspicious of her.  (If she didn’t take them, she probably has no Continue reading

0 What should a girl do if she misses a period?

Hachiko asks: I’ve had my Periods but they skip some times. For example, I have it this month but I’m not having it the next. Should I see a doctor?

Hi Hachiko –

I don’t know how old you are, but my quick easy answer is YES!  The human reproductive system is one of the most delicate and complex things in the entire world (it has to be – it accomplishes the greatest Continue reading

0 What can a kid do when life at home becomes unbearable?

RebGijey asks: I’m a 12-year-old kid and my parents are always fighting. They have tons of problems, and always drag me into them, and so I get psychologically, emotionally, physically and mentally affected – even in my studies and school activities. I’ve told them that I’m now planning to move away from them and stay in an apartment or dorm in our school, but they couldn’t even care less. Now, I just need a job to pay my rent. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Hi RebGijey –

I don’t know where you live, RebGijey, so I can’t speak about the laws on child labor, or about a 12-year-old’s rights to live on their own.  But I can sure say this – your situation sounds AWFUL!

It is possible that your home life could be so bad that the police or some social workers could demand that you be allowed to live elsewhere.  But I don’t know if they could guarantee that you’d be able to stay at the same school.

I feel a little helpless, as there’s just so much I don’t know.  But the main idea that strikes me is about your Continue reading

0 What can a child of an unhappily-married couple do to help their parents?

Hachiko asks: My parents are married to each other but they don’t love each other. And maybe that’s why I cry sometimes. What should I do? They’re just married because in our country people have to get married (love ‘em or not).

Hi Hachiko –

The situation you’re describing is very sad.  And sad for everyone, not just you, and not just your parents.  It’s very common too.

When people get married, they almost always either feel in love with each other, or feel good enough about each other that they believe they’ll feel more love as time goes by.  And as we all know, that feeling almost always changes over time.  And when it does, they can either split up (through separation or divorce), or work on improving the relationship, or just stick with each other with no improvement.  As you can probably imagine, I like the Continue reading

1 Why do teenagers pull away from their parents?

Mamathato asks: My son is 13 years old, and he has become sensitive about some stuff. For example, he told me not to call him in front of his friends a lot, because I am embarrassing him, and his friends call him mommy’s boy.

Hi Mamathato –

I don’t know if this will strike you as good news or bad, but here goes:  You son’s behavior is 100% ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY FULLY SUPERLATIVELY… Normal.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that, if a teenager hits age 18 without having behaved the way your son is acting, there’s something wrong.

The job of a child is to bond with their parents or caregivers, and learn to live life based on how those adults act.  The job of a teenager is to differentiate themselves from those parents, and begin to live life on their own Continue reading

1 Should you change schools if you’re not making friends in yours?

Hachiko asks: I want to change my school. Not because of it being an all-girls school, but because I can’t make any good friends here. Studying quality is good but I want to go to this other school (combined), because I have many other friends there. My mom thinks I shouldn’t go and my dad says I can go if I want. What should I do? I read in combined schools earlier, and I also read in this school when I was small, but because of my dad being in the army I had to change schools. I’m going through depression because of my school (I think), and my parents don’t actually care (they say they got problems of their own). I know they love me, but feeling alone is sad. And the studying pressure is also a bit more in the school which makes me go through mental depression as I get no time for myself 🙁 no time for hangouts and the studying pressure in that school is less. And also let me say that I don’t know why, but combined schools are also a lot of PRESSURE because of the boys if you know what I mean!

Hi Hachiko –

When Handsome first took me to a dog park, I was six months old, and as playful and hyper as any puppy ever, and was overjoyed to run up to all the dogs there and make friends… and not one wanted to play with me.

Why?  Well, partly because some of them had special friends they wanted to play with, and didn’t need a new pal.  Also because some of them simply didn’t like to play with anyone, or were older and found puppies annoying!  But also, in some cases, they saw that I didn’t really know how to play the way they liked, and wanted me to stay back and observe them, and learn their rituals and rules.

Now today, I understand all that.  But on the day itself, I was devastated.  My veterinarian had told Handsome to keep me out of parks like that till I was this old, for disease prevention, and I had just hated not being able to play with lots of dogs.  So my hopes for this day were gigantic, and being spurned by the other pooches made me feel worthless and Continue reading

0 How can parents protect their children from online pornography and predators?

Grimes asks: I am so worried. I have just seen my 14-year-old daughter’s phone, and the things she has been up to have turned me grey overnight. She has been on chat rooms claiming to be 18 and having very sexual texts with the men on there. She has been looking at all kinds of adult material on the web. I am so worried that after the material she has seen and the things she has said, she will have a very dark idea of what sex is about. We have taken all devices out of her bedroom and blocked all sites. This came as a massive shock – the things she was saying as she acts very young for her age fooled me in every way. I have stressed the danger of what she is doing, but I’m finding it hard to look her in the face. Please help!

Hi Grimes –

There are problems that parents have faced ever since societies began.  Infants wander off, children have tantrums, teens rebel.  Most of the issues I talk about on this site are universal and eternal, like these.

But families today have a particular issue that no one ever dealt with before, which is the incredible technology at the fingertips of youth.  There have always been predators, but computers and cell phones give them so much easier access to kids.  Teens have always been curious about sex, but these devices make it impossible for them to learn only the things you want them to, or for communication to be controlled.  I am not an alarmist, Grimes, but you are absolutely right to be as frightened and concerned as you are.  The giant question is what Continue reading

0 How to help a friend who’s drawn to the same sort of guy who’s hurt her before

sazuna45 asks: A friend of mine went through a bad breakup two years ago. Her ex (who happens to be a ‘bad guy’ in the most decent language) dumped her on the phone and started dating another girl on the same week! (What an idiot!) Anyways, the problem is, my friend can’t move on. She got asked out by another guy, but she said she needs some time and she’ll answer him later. That guy is better, and he’ll probably take care of her, but he’s also a player. Better than her ex, but still a player. She shouldn’t say yes but she thinks she can move on if she dates another guy! I promised her I’d give her advice before she gives her answer and so I need suggestions from you. Can you please give me some advice? 🙂

Hi sazuna45 –

You know, the more I look at humans, the more I respect many things about them, but also, the more I find some aspects of them really silly.

Now I understand that if I get a chance to eat four pizzas in one night, I’m going to feel really bad in the morning, but if I get another chance to eat four pizzas I’m going to do exactly the same thing!  But when it comes to relationships, I take care of myself better than that.  I tend to run up and jump on people and assume they’ll like it, but if one of them kicks me, I’m going to avoid that person from then on.  And if I sense that someone else is going to be just like them, I’ll tend to avoid them too.  I don’t mean that it’s a great idea to be prejudiced about people, but I do believe in paying attention to what’s really Continue reading

0 What are a teenager’s options if they realize they like someone who likes them?

arjai101 asks: There’s this guy who seems to like me, and I think I like him back. Only thing is I don’t know how to deal with the situation now that I know what I want. I’ve never had a boyfriend before and my schedule is pretty hectic. I know it seems like I’m avoiding it, but its only because I don’t know what to do? How should I approach the situation, and what are my options?

Hi arjai101 –

Your question is a gigantic one, and a very smart one.  So many teens rush into relationships, thinking that they need to act like they know what they’re doing, when they don’t at all!  You’re being very smart.  You “think” you like this guy back, and you don’t know what to do.

So my first advice is… stay cautious!  I don’t mean that there’s any reason to fear him, but just let things take their time.  He’s showing you he’s interested, so give him the chance to Continue reading