Category Archives for "Adults"

2 How much one should compromise in life

Duaa asks: How much should we compromise in life?

Your question is wonderful, and very very important. Especially because it’s one that you’ll keep asking as long as you live! Everybody has to ask themselves this question all the time.

From your question, it’s clear that you know the word “compromise,” but in case any of our other readers don’t, it means to take what you want and what someone else wants into consideration, and either find a way to “meet halfway” where each of you gets a part of what you want, or for you to just give them some or all of what they want, and not get what you want.

Confusing? Well, for example, when Handsome takes me for a walk, I like to sniff a Continue reading

0 How can you be yourself on a first date?

Avrilox26 asks: A guy from my school (but with 1 class “bigger”) noticed me a while ago… We started to talk on messenger about a lot of things! He’s known me a lot of time, but didn’t notice me until now… Until now we just said hello and how are you ‘live’, the rest online… (I need to mention that I’m kind of a shy person and it took me a while to be myself with other people, but online it’s easier for me to be myself, so I was myself with him online) I think that he really enjoyed me, so he invited me out… Today, we decided the date, time, and place, but I’m really nervous! I don’t know how I’ll act! (I also need to mention that is my first date – if he sees it like a date – ever! A lot of guys have asked me if I want to be their girlfriend, but I didn’t want to, because I didn’t like them or didn’t want/can). I’m so nervous! I’m having a lot of questions now in my mind about what he will think (I always care about what the people around me are thinking about me!) and I don’t know if he’s as nervous as me! He told me that at first he was ashamed to ask me out. Then today he said that he can’t wait to see me and he warned me: “make sure you won’t be late!”… I’d like to invite my BFF to come ‘by mistake’ there, but I think now that he will feel uncomfortable… Do you have any advice/tips about this? What should I do? I’ll be so nervous! And, how can I be myself with him? It’s easy to be myself with other people (those that I know), but with him… I need to mention: I am 14 years old and he is 15 (but he will be 16 in July :/). Thanks! This means a lot to me!

Wow this is really exciting! A first date! It makes me think of my first time in the local dog park. I was so nervous, and SO excited, to play with all the other dogs. And I ran out to play with them and… nothing happened. They wouldn’t play with me. I didn’t know how to play with them, and they didn’t care about me, and… it really hurt. But Handsome kept taking me back there, and over time I Continue reading

2 What to do when your parents disapprove of your boyfriend, especially after he’s hit you.

Bunny Asks: I am sixteen. Last May I had a baby. Yes I know it was wrong and everything, but the father and I really love each other – we have now been together for nearly 3 years… So the problem comes in with my parents… I don’t know what to do about them. They forced me to do adoption 🙁 I wanted to keep him… and so did my boyfriend. We were ready to take responsibility for our actions. Then about 3 mouths after his birth my boyfriend and I had a big fight, and he left bruises on me. My parents never asked me if I was ok, they were just glad cause they thought he was out of my life. We broke up for 7 months, till he realized what he had done. He’s the type of guy that actually learns from his mistakes, he felt so bad about it. We really love each other and really take our relationship seriously, but my parents won’t let me see him, and I can’t take it any more! I have been so depressed lately I don’t even eat. I’ve tried asking them if I can see him, but they won’t budge!!!! Please help!! (and i don’t mind if you post this, I have nothing that I am ashamed of.)

Hi Bunny –

I’m so very very glad you wrote me. You are dealing with a gigantic number of issues here, and some of them are as big as you’ll ever deal with in your life, so it’s terribly important that you talk about all of them.

I’ll offer what I can, but the first thing I want you to do is to PROMISE me that you’ll find someone professional you can talk with about all these. No advice website (written by a dog or anyone else) can replace real talking with a real professional. I’m a big fan of therapists, but if there’s something you’d prefer (a religious leader, a teacher) that could be okay too. If you’re still in school, they probably have a counselor or someone who could help, or at least someone who could point you toward someone who can. If you don’t know anywhere else to look, let me know what city or town you live in, and I’ll do some research to see if I can help find someone for you.

But in the meantime, let me suggest a few things. Okay, first, you say, “it was wrong” to have a Continue reading

0 How it feels when you move or change your home

Nasim asks: Have you ever wanted to change your home?

Hi Nasim –
Well, there are two ways I could read your question. Do you mean have I ever wanted to move into a different home, or have I ever wanted to do changes to the home I have now? Although the answer is kind of the same.
If it’s the first, then my first answer is YEAH!!! When I was a puppy, I spent about five days and nights living in a dog pound, and I wanted to get out of Continue reading

0 How to find a long-lost best friend

Wisky asks: I was having a best friend, but now I am not in touch with her; what should I can do to contact with her?

Thanks Wisky!
You know, I’m not sure if you mean that you and your friend have just lost contact, or if something bad happened to your friendship. If it’s just that time and distance have separated you, then you’re in luck – all you need to do is to sniff her out. Do you know where she is? If not, you’ve got something great that no one had until about ten years ago, which is the Internet. If you did a search for her, you might be able to find out where she is (if you don’t know how to do that, just ask a parent or older friend to help you). You could also do the “old-school” method by phoning Information and asking them to help you her.
But if it’s the other way, if something has hurt your friendship, then I’ve got to admit: this is one of those areas that we dogs just never Continue reading

0 Why it hurts when our best isn’t enough

Asmaok asks: Why is it that what hurts me most is when I can not give more than my best?

Wow, Asmaok, it sounds to me like you’re just a great person with a wonderful work ethic. For those who don’t know, “Work Ethic” means that you really value how good a job you do on the tasks you do. Like a student who doesn’t like to turn in work that isn’t really good, or an adult who doesn’t like to be lazy.
The problem is that, as good as a Work Ethic is, it can become too much, and it can get you feeling bad instead of good. The trick to handle this is simple: Give Yourself a Break!
For example, I think my most important job is Squirrel Control. I spend most of my Continue reading

1 Why we get so hurt by those we love.

Duaa asks: “Why sometimes do we feel hurt by our dear ones and cannot smile? What to do then?”

Oh Duaa, I wish I had an easy answer for that!  The more we love someone, the more they can hurt us.  That’s part of what love is – when we open our hearts to someone, we let them in, with all their faults.  So if someone we love tends to say harsh things when they get angry, those mean words will hurt us more.  And if someone we love tends to pull away when Continue reading

0 What to do when friends tell you another friend is betraying you.

crobat asks: I’m confused if my “friend” [Henry] is really my friend and if my X-friend [Daniel] caused it. You see, ever since I introduced Daniel (this is when we were friends)to Henry, I’ve been told that Henry’s betraying me or that Daniel’s tricking me by other kids in the neighborhood. I’ve tried to figure it out on my own. Even though I found a couple things that might have proven that Henry’s innocent, I still didn’t have anything to prove that Daniel’s wrong. What do I do…

Oh Crobat, this is always so hard!  When one friend tells you another friend is betraying you, you never know who to believe, or how to react!  Shakespeare wrote a great play about this called “Othello,” which you’ll probably read sometime in school.  But it sure doesn’t tell you what the right thing to do about this is (“Othello” ends REALLY badly!).  So it’s no help to you today at all.  So I’ll do better than Shakespeare and help you out!!

We dogs don’t really have these same problems in our lives.  The closest we get is when another dog steals our food.  Once I saw – through a window – another dog eating out of my dish.  Well the first chance I had to get inside, I went right up to that dog and got on top of her and Continue reading

0 What to do when you’re feeling hopeless and seeing no reason to keep living.

Suds Asks: Shirelle, sometimes I feel so hopeless I don’t want to live anymore. Does that ever happen to you?

Hi Suds –

I’m sorry you feel so lousy.  I know what it’s like to feel really sad and frustrated and lonely and angry.  But no, I’ve never not wanted to live anymore.  That’s because dogs are different from people – we just never think that way.  But I have to tell you, I’ve never known a human who hasn’t felt just Continue reading

2 Why are ticks attracted to dogs?

Schnapsie asks: Shirelle, why are tics attracted to our kind, that is the canine family?

Oh Schnapisie, did you have to ask this?!  Now I’m going to have nightmares all night!

For a dog, ticks are just about the worst thing there is.  They latch onto us, spread disease, drink our blood, and are impossible for us to scratch off!  While we always appreciate what our humans do for us, handling ticks is one of the most important and valuable things people can ever give us.  So please:

–       Do what you can to prevent our getting ticks

–       Find ticks as soon as possible when they’re on us

–       And when you do find them, get them off of us in a big big hurry!

But your question is about why ticks are attracted to dogs in particular.  Well, the answer is… Continue reading