Category Archives for "Adults"

1 How to tell your parents you’ve been keeping something from them

Chocolate Bar asks: How can I have a conversation with my parents about the fact that I’ve been dating? And convince them that they can trust me to make the right choices?

Hi Chocolate Bar –

If I’m reading your question right, you have a specific problem, that goes beyond how to talk to your parents about dating.  I have a bunch of other posts on the website that tell about how parents and teens can talk about dating… but it sounds like you’ve been doing it behind their back.  And now you want to know how to earn their trust.  Now that could get pretty difficult!

You know that story about the puppet whose nose grows even longer than mine, every time he lies?  That’s because that’s exactly what a Continue reading

0 How do you stop hurting someone you love

Kelina asks: How do you stop hurting someone you love? I don’t mean to do it.

Hi Kelina –

Thanks for this very open question about hurting someone you love.

First, I want you to check out an earlier post I did, to the exact opposite question, about why the people we love hurt us!  It was written by Duaa.  Just put that name in the search box on the AskShirelle site, and it’ll come up.

But to your question, I’d say you need to ask yourself one very important question first:  Are they really being hurt by what you’re doing, or choosing to be Continue reading

1 Should I trust my guy?

Aroula asks: Should I trust my guy?

Wow, that’s a tough question.  I don’t know anything about him, but I guess here’s the best I can offer:

Some legal systems in the world operate from the idea that a person is “innocent until proven guilty.”  In other words, it’s up to the court to prove that the person committed a crime before they can be punished for it.  And in those systems, police often get into trouble if they have arrested a person without “just cause.”

I think that’s a good way to be in relationships too.  There are lots of people out there who spend all their time distrusting their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse, or even their friends.  And you know what?  They’re unhappy people!  They can always find reasons not to trust!  Then there are others out there, who do the Continue reading

0 How do I control my appetite?

Ashley asks: How do I control myself when I’m home at night and I’m really hungry?

Hi Ashley –

This is a really big question.  And I have to admit, much as I dislike it, I’m lucky in this regard.  You see, I can’t get into the refrigerator.  I can’t get into cupboards, I can’t even get into the container that holds my dogfood.  And because Handsome makes sure to regulate all that, I’ve never had an eating problem.  He makes sure I get all the really healthy dogfood I want at dinnertime, and I often leave it out so I can nibble on it during the day too.  But I can’t get pizza and cookies and treats and all whenever I want, only when he lets me have some.

Lots of people have trouble controlling their appetites.  And I certainly relate – I’d have trouble too, if I had the power you humans do.  So what you need to do is to be your own Continue reading

0 Should you pursue others while in a relationship?

susmita asks: I love a guy, but till now I haven’t confirmed if he loves me or not. Although both of us are in relationships now, how can I know what he thinks about me???

Hi Susmita –

Thanks for your question about how to tell if a guy likes you.

First, I want to direct you to an answer I’ve already written.  Look up Hannah’s question that starts with “I really like this boy.”  That will tell you most of what I have to say about that issue.

But you bring up another great point I want to address as well.  You say that you and he are both in relationships already.  Now I can understand why you’d want to find out how this boy feels about you, sure.  But what about the boy you’re already Continue reading

0 Does darker skin make a person less beautiful?

Aanand asks: For about 2 years, my skin has been becoming darker. Now I am 13 years old. I will be 14 years old within 2 months. I want to look more beautiful.

Hi Aanand –

Thanks for your question about your skin getting darker.

Although we dogs aren’t nearly as interested in looks as we are in smells and sounds, I understand your desire to look more beautiful.  It’s clear to me that when I’m dirty and covered in burrs and smells, most people don’t want to pet me, and even Handsome just does enough that it’s clear he’s just letting me know he still likes me.  But when I’m clean and brushed and not so smelly, so many more people want to hug and pet me, and kiss my nose and all.  You just want to be more attractive, and that makes total sense.

But you bring up a really important other issue as well.  It sounds like you’re saying that your skin getting darker means you’re getting less beautiful.  This of course isn’t your fault at all, but I have to say, if I’m reading this right, I HATE HEARING THINGS LIKE Continue reading

0 How to help teenagers who drop out of school

Dianne asks: How can I help children who drop out of school?

Hi Dianne –

What a good person you must be!  Because kids who drop out of school definitely need help.

Now I need to admit a bias here – unless there’s a really strong reason (say, a kid lives on a farm and he needs to leave school to help work the fields and keep his family alive; or if the school is truly dangerous), I’m really against kids dropping out.  There aren’t a lot of things that our societies give to kids, and school is one of the greatest.  Even in a lousy school, kids can learn so many things that will help them later in life, and make friends who’ll Continue reading

0 Are long-distance relationships possible?

Brena asks: Can a boy live far away from me and fall in love with me?

Hi Brena –

Quick answer:  Yes!  It happens all the time!

The question is, what is that boy falling in love with?  For example, all us dogs are really obsessed with smell.  So there’s no way we could fall in love with someone we couldn’t sniff out.  People tend to be more interested in sight and sound – they are attracted to other people’s looks and the sound of their Continue reading

0 How to deal with having insulted a friend.

Brittany asks: I just started summer vacation, and I’m excited. There was this girl in my class who wears make-up and dyes her hair (we’re talking about fifth grade here). I also have a YouTube channel, and I made a video of me and my friend doing random stuff. At one point in it, I told that girl to jump off a cliff. I was just playing, but when this kid in my class found it, everyone saw it. It was a while ago when I posted it, but people started taking it seriously. Near the end of the year, her mom came on a field trip, and I got chewed out. She told me to take it off of YouTube before she told the principal, but I couldn’t and it never came up again. The girl also said she was moving, but she’s still one of my Facebook friends. Should I be happy, scared, or ashamed right now?

Oh Brittany, this is a lot!  Let me divide it into three answers:

First, about your posting that video.  This is a huge problem, as you probably know.  Nobody who ever lived before now ever experienced anything like the Internet.  It used to be you could say something like “That mutt across the street stinks like he rolled in a litterbox,” and even if everyone in the neighborhood repeated it, we’d be talking about relatively few ever knowing about it.  But today, something goes online, and it’s instantly viewable around the world, and hundreds, thousands, millions, billions could watch it.  So the good news is that you got this experience at a very early age, and so can learn the big lesson:  Be really careful about what you post online.  Especially if you say anything against anyone, you’ll have to live with what you Continue reading

1 How can I help my friend deal with strict parents?

Angelbrat asks: Hey Shirelle, I have a friend who moved away from our town to study. We keep in touch by texting and e-mailing each other, and she seems unhappy. She always wanted to study spa and later make her own business but her mum made her decisions and she has to study Management. She tried to talk to her parents but nothing worked. Plus she has to do all her lessons in Dutch. Gosh, that is hard. As a friend it breaks my heart to know that she is really unhappy. How can I help her??

Wow Angelbrat, you’re right, that does sound hard!  Both for your friend and for you!

It’s one of the hardest things for anyone with a big heart, to see someone they love going through a really tough time.  We feel so helpless!  I’ve watched Handsome go through everything from breakups to operations to hard classes, and not been able to do anything to help him.

EXCEPT – and this is really important – I always told him that I loved him.  He’d be sitting all miserable on the couch, and I’d bring him a toy, or he’d be having a tough phone call and I’d walk up and lay my head on his Continue reading