How to tell your parents you’ve been keeping something from them

Chocolate Bar asks: How can I have a conversation with my parents about the fact that I’ve been dating? And convince them that they can trust me to make the right choices?

Hi Chocolate Bar –


If I’m reading your question right, you have a specific problem, that goes beyond how to talk to your parents about dating.  I have a bunch of other posts on the website that tell about how parents and teens can talk about dating… but it sounds like you’ve been doing it behind their back.  And now you want to know how to earn their trust.  Now that could get pretty difficult!


You know that story about the puppet whose nose grows even longer than mine, every time he lies?  That’s because that’s exactly what a lie is.  It gets bigger and bigger the longer it exists.  The sooner you can tell the truth, the easier it’ll be in the long term for you.


But in the short term, you’re in a tough place!


You’ve probably seen on here already that I’m a big one for sitting down with your parents and having a serious talk.  A talk in which you explain to them a lot of your thoughts on the matter.  And that’s exactly what I’m going to suggest to you.  Have they been too strict about you dating?  Has it been hard for you to come to them with the truth?  Is there something they have against the person you’ve been seeing?  Most parents are able to be very reasonable, once their child has explained the situation to them.  And in this case, the situation is that you have grown; you’re not the same kid you were a few years ago.


So here’s what I’d talk about with them.  Why you felt the need to lie, what exactly you’ve been doing and with whom, and why you wanted to come forward and tell them the truth.  Now once you’ve done that, they might at first be angry or hurt, and say they don’t trust you.  But if you then start telling the truth all the time to them, I’ll bet you’ll find that they start to trust you more than they ever did before!  You will have shown them just how mature you are, and especially you’ll have shown them that you want to tell them the truth!  That’s the best reason to trust anyone!


But at the moment, you’re in the situation I was in when Handsome walked into the kitchen and saw me trying to look very innocent while there was grease on the floor from the steak I’d just eaten, after stealing it off the counter.  The odds are, you’re in for a little bit of a rough ride.  But I’d say to accept it, and know that things are likely to get much, much better, very soon.


Best of Luck!




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kelina - July 20, 2011 Reply

Indeed I share your problem!! thing is you have to have good records, things which u can use as evidence that you are indeed trustworthy and responsible enough to date

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