How can I help my friend deal with strict parents?

Angelbrat asks: Hey Shirelle, I have a friend who moved away from our town to study. We keep in touch by texting and e-mailing each other, and she seems unhappy. She always wanted to study spa and later make her own business but her mum made her decisions and she has to study Management. She tried to talk to her parents but nothing worked. Plus she has to do all her lessons in Dutch. Gosh, that is hard. As a friend it breaks my heart to know that she is really unhappy. How can I help her??

Wow Angelbrat, you’re right, that does sound hard!  Both for your friend and for you!


It’s one of the hardest things for anyone with a big heart, to see someone they love going through a really tough time.  We feel so helpless!  I’ve watched Handsome go through everything from breakups to operations to hard classes, and not been able to do anything to help him.


EXCEPT – and this is really important – I always told him that I loved him.  He’d be sitting all miserable on the couch, and I’d bring him a toy, or he’d be having a tough phone call and I’d walk up and lay my head on his lap.  I couldn’t solve the problem itself, but I could sure let him know that I felt his pain.  And you know what?  That really meant more to him than any fixing thing I could have done.


It sounds like your friend’s mother isn’t really listening to what your friend wants.  I do believe there might be ways for your friend to get her to listen, at least eventually, but this may not be the time for it.  You see, learning about Management might actually help her when she makes her Spa business.  What’s important is that, when her mother insists on her studying something that isn’t what she needs to learn, she has the strength and integrity to explain her feelings to her mother in a way she can really understand.  I’d be glad to offer her some ideas on this (if she’d like to join the Pack, which I think would be great!).


But in the meantime, it sounds to me like you’re doing the best thing possible.  To, in as many ways as you can, tell her “You’re not alone, I’m behind you and I’m your friend forever.”  No one can ever say anything more beautiful.   Nothing is more welcome to the ears.


Well, except “Oops, I dropped some chicken on the floor!”  That’s glorious!







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angelbrat - July 18, 2011 Reply

You were right… I talked to her and it seems that she is enjoying her studies. She did her exams and with god’s blessing she passed with a high mark. Her mum is really happy and next semester she is going to do an extended course of Management.
Thank You

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