Category Archives for "Adults"

1 How to deal with loneliness

megane2 asks: What do you do when you have no one to talk to? When the only person who understands you is not with you and you’re not able to reach that person… When you have so much to say and to talk about but you feel totally alone? What should I do?

Hi Megane2 –

This is such a sad question.  Of course, I relate so well to it too.  Handsome leaves me at home alone nearly every day, and my heart just cries.  I like to spend time by myself, but that’s very different from being left alone.  Having no one to talk to, or play with, or just to pat my head, when I need it – that’s so lonely and painful.  I just hate it.  And I can tell you do too.

Here are ten ideas for things that you can do, though, when this happens.   Some of them are things I can’t do, so you’re luckier than me.  But all can be helpful, I promise.

1)    Write a journal.  One person you can always talk to is yourself!  Write out your feelings in a journal or diary.  And lots of times, you’ll find that the actual act of writing can help you work out some problems, just like telling a Continue reading

2 Should I try to take a boy away from his girlfriend?

Bella asks: Hi, I am in love with a guy, but he has a girlfriend. They have been going out for almost 4 years now. I’ve tried forgetting about him, but I can’t! They are thinking of getting engaged by the end of the year. The worst part is that she is one of my friends. What should I do????

Hi Bella –

There are some decisions in life where it’s clear that we should do what we want.  Then there are those where it’s kind of confusing.  And then there are those where it’s clear that we should give up.

For example, let’s talk about lamb roast.  Now I loooooooove lamb roast!  If Handsome is cooking one, I can smell it even before he starts the oven.  And then once the cooking starts, ooooooohhhhhhhhhh that aroma!  Luscious!

So let’s say that Handsome has roasted up a beautiful leg of lamb, and while he starts to carve it up for his guests, he hands me a beautiful juicy piece.  Should I take it?  Of course I should, are you nuts?!  I take it and then sit very politely on the floor, with perfect posture and my mouth just non-stop salivating and licking, and hoping for more.

But what if, say, Handsome accidentally drops a piece of that yummy Continue reading

1 How to make life interesting and fun

choco asks: How can I make my life interesting? Are there some tricks to make fun in life??

Hi Choco –

This is probably my favorite question anyone’s ever asked me, because this is what I’m best at.  You see, we dogs always can find something interesting and fun, unless someone’s literally put us in a tiny cage.  And you humans have every bit of what we have in our brains, and a lot more.  So why is it that you often can’t come up with something, when we always can?  It’s because of that extra brain you have!  You’re so much more judgmental and worried and self-conscious and all that, which all gets in the way of life!  (Now please realize, I also know that that extra brain does a lot of good; Overall it tends to be better.  I’m not putting you down here, just pointing out how it can be a problem!).

So what you need to do is get all that nonsense out of the way, and find your own Continue reading

0 How to get your parents to speak to you again.

Bella asks: Hi, my parents aren’t on speaking terms with me, and tomorrow is my birthday. What should I do? I tried talking to my mum but she refused to listen. I feel so bad!!!

Oh Bella!  I’m so sorry I didn’t get to your letter in time for your birthday!  I can’t imagine how you must have felt the whole day, and I wish I could have sent you some kisses and tug-of-war playing to cheer you up!  I know it’s late but… Happy Birthday!

And I’m not kidding when I say those two words.  You see, any day can be your birthday.  We can all be “born again” any time we choose to be.  Some people get that in a religion, others get it in a beauty salon with a “makeover,” some through moving their homes.  And you can have a new “birth” in whatever way you want.  The trick – and the hard part – is deciding what exactly it is that you Continue reading

0 How to be a great teacher

kald asks: How can I be a good teacher?

Hi kald –

There are a lot of classes, books, and videos for schoolteachers about how to be great.  But from my experience of kids, I’d sum it up in four suggestions.

#1 is keeping them focused.  In today’s rapid-fire world, it is harder than ever to keep kids still and interested in their studies for hours on end.  If you look at my answer to ethan23’s question about concentration, I explain a lot about that.

#2, I’d argue, would be Continue reading

1 How to salvage a broken friendship

megane2 asks: My best friend and I both had to move to different cities because of our parents’ work. Some complications and misunderstandings happened to us and her family does not like me and does not want us to talk or see each other again. It’s really hard. Sometimes I do talk to her online though when I get the chance, but otherwise we barely speak. I can’t call her because her family has caller ID. She is my best friend and like my sister and we’re really close, and now we’re just trying to keep in touch so we don’t lose our friendship… because friendship needs communication right? I feel like I have no one to talk to because she was the only one who understood me fully. Another thing is that I write her emails telling her what I’m up to and what’s new, and I wait for her reply, but she doesn’t care to. Sometimes I get the feeling she doesn’t want me anymore but I hurry and shake it off because she means so much to me. It really is hard. What should I do? Thanks and sorry for taking so long.

Hi megane2

This sounds really painful; but especially, it sounds Lonely!   It’s bad enough to live in a different city from your best friend, but then for her family to not like you makes it worse; and then for her to often not reply to you… that’s just awful!

So I’ve got all sorts of questions.  Like – was it just misunderstandings that turned her family against you, or was it something more; and why she isn’t replying (do they keep her from it, or is it her choice?).  So I’ll throw some thoughts at you, but please forgive me if I get some things Continue reading

0 How to deal with a sibling with abnormalities

Shefar asks: Hey, Shirelle! I have asked you a question before, so I won’t tell you about me again, but there is one thing you don’t know… I have a sister and she’s abnormal. I mean she’s not crazy, just that not normal like us. But she likes to win everything. She’s older than me, but things have to be fair, right? I mean now I fight with her and I am the one who always got blamed! She starts it and I am the one that’s got to be blamed! My parents really care about her cause she’s not “normal” and they always make me give up the fight… So can you give me any advice to put a stop to this fighting and always losing stuff?! I know it’s kinda complicated but I’ve only got you to tell me what to do.

Hi Shefar –

It would be easier for me to give you a specific answer if I knew what exactly your sister’s Abnormality was.  The way you describe it, though, it sounds like she has some sort of developmental delay, or perhaps some level of Autism.   If so, your frustration is VERY normal, in fact unavoidable.  I’ve known lots of kids in your situation, and it’s never easy.  I will give you some advice, but first I want to give you the good news:  growing up in this situation is going to make you a really great person, and others will be able to see it.

Meanwhile, though, it’s not Continue reading

1 Should you stay with someone who’s insulting you

barbie girl neika asks: I like this guy who is 5 years older than me. We have been together for four years on and off, but we broke up. I still have feelings for him, but he cheated and lied to me, and when we broke up he and the same girl got in a relationship. They are even together now! He even let me talk to her on the phone! He calls her names like “princess” and “Mrs.”… I’m jealous. Do you think I should let him go????? I’m awaiting your answer

Oh Barbie Girl Neika –

I am SUCH a romantic!  I spend so much time on this website trying to help couples work through problems, often including how to deal with the fact that one of them has done something wrong to the other.

But every dog has a breaking point.  No matter how nice and cuddly and licky and sweet we are, if we get mad enough, the hair on our back sticks up and our fangs come out and we become wild wolves like our ancestors and just want to rip the guts out of what’s angering us.  This is one of those Continue reading

0 What do you regret about your teenage years?

Mary asks: Hey, what do you regret not doing during your teenage years????

Hi Mary –

What a great question!  Though I’m not sure which years you’re referring to with me.  If you mean mean the time in my life between the literal ages of twelve to twenty-one, almost any dog in the world would tell you that its regret about that period was not living longer!  But if you mean my teenage “dog years,” that would basically be the time I spent at the age of two (fourteen to twenty-one in dog years).  So what do I regret not doing then?

Continue reading

0 How to get over someone you broke up with

Kimy asks: I broke up with my first boyfriend but now I just cannot get him out of my mind. What should I do?

Hi Kimy –

I’m so sorry.  I know, it’s very very hard to move on after a breakup.  The people you loved so just get into your mind and heart, and even though you’ve chosen to not be with them, they haunt you like a ghost.

A lot of people have very specific advice:  Date other guys, or Avoid all guys, or Take a vacation, or Dye your hair a new color…  I can’t tell you that any of these are right or wrong.  The fact is, you just have to get through this time.

What you’re experiencing is actually the Continue reading