Monthly Archives: November 2012

0 How to help a friend who’s drawn to the same sort of guy who’s hurt her before

sazuna45 asks: A friend of mine went through a bad breakup two years ago. Her ex (who happens to be a ‘bad guy’ in the most decent language) dumped her on the phone and started dating another girl on the same week! (What an idiot!) Anyways, the problem is, my friend can’t move on. She got asked out by another guy, but she said she needs some time and she’ll answer him later. That guy is better, and he’ll probably take care of her, but he’s also a player. Better than her ex, but still a player. She shouldn’t say yes but she thinks she can move on if she dates another guy! I promised her I’d give her advice before she gives her answer and so I need suggestions from you. Can you please give me some advice? 🙂

Hi sazuna45 –

You know, the more I look at humans, the more I respect many things about them, but also, the more I find some aspects of them really silly.

Now I understand that if I get a chance to eat four pizzas in one night, I’m going to feel really bad in the morning, but if I get another chance to eat four pizzas I’m going to do exactly the same thing!  But when it comes to relationships, I take care of myself better than that.  I tend to run up and jump on people and assume they’ll like it, but if one of them kicks me, I’m going to avoid that person from then on.  And if I sense that someone else is going to be just like them, I’ll tend to avoid them too.  I don’t mean that it’s a great idea to be prejudiced about people, but I do believe in paying attention to what’s really Continue reading

0 What are a teenager’s options if they realize they like someone who likes them?

arjai101 asks: There’s this guy who seems to like me, and I think I like him back. Only thing is I don’t know how to deal with the situation now that I know what I want. I’ve never had a boyfriend before and my schedule is pretty hectic. I know it seems like I’m avoiding it, but its only because I don’t know what to do? How should I approach the situation, and what are my options?

Hi arjai101 –

Your question is a gigantic one, and a very smart one.  So many teens rush into relationships, thinking that they need to act like they know what they’re doing, when they don’t at all!  You’re being very smart.  You “think” you like this guy back, and you don’t know what to do.

So my first advice is… stay cautious!  I don’t mean that there’s any reason to fear him, but just let things take their time.  He’s showing you he’s interested, so give him the chance to Continue reading

0 Why do we feel so uncomfortable when we see someone we’re attracted to?

burger143 asks: Why do I always feel uncomfortable every time I see my special someone? Is there anyway to stop this feeling?

Hi burger143 –

What you’re describing is absolutely universal.  When we feel (and yes I mean “we” – even we dogs have this!) a huge fondness for someone, everything about them becomes enormously important.  So the sort of stomach-ache you might normally feel only before a big test or speech will show up every time that “special someone” appears!  After all, if that person smiles at you, your world is glorious; if they don’t, you’re devastated.  So your body is just reacting to the stress that causes!

The only way to stop that feeling is to stop Continue reading

1 How to get someone to stop pursuing you

Crystal asks: There’s a man who has been crazy in Love with me for about five years. I don’t feel anything for him, and I don’t want to. He is good at studying and can say is a good guy, but he is not my type. He is one year my senior and we are in same grade in high school. He is poor and we have different religions. Furthermore, he said he can’t stop this and thinks he’ll feel it forever. Whenever he sends a message to me, I have always ignored it because I’m getting bored with this. What should I do?

Hi Crystal –

This is very hard for me to say, because I am a hugely romantic-minded dog, and love the idea of forever-romance.  But the fact is, this guy is wrong.  His feelings for you will not last forever.

Look, I’m a dog, and no one loves stronger and more passionately than we do.  But if we like someone who consistently ignores or rejects, or even lashes out, at us, we’ll eventually stop being interested in them.  And similarly, if we have an owner we love enormously, who sells or gives us away to someone else, we’ll learn to love those new owners in just that way (though it might take a long time), and kind of forget our first ones.

Now humans have much bigger brains than we do, which makes you smarter and more stubborn!  So I’m not saying that getting this guy to move on in his life will be as easy as it would be if he were a Schnauzer.  But the truth is, he will move on.

Your job is to find ways to make it happen Continue reading

0 How to handle a rebellious teenager who’s not even yours

sika asks: I have a 15 year old nephew. He has being staying with me for 4 months now. He does not respect me, nor my husband whom I married only a year ago. His behavior has brought constant argument between my husband and me, and he wants him to go back to his parents, but I am afraid it will bring sibling rivalry. Please, I need advice.

Hi sika –

What a tough situation!  It sounds like you and your husband are really trapped.

But, I would guess, your nephew feels the same way.  I’m wondering why he’s staying at your house – did his parents want him to leave their home?  If so, he’s probably feeling very unwanted and rejected, which might explain his general anger and disrespect (Lots of dogs in the pound behaved that way too; they didn’t tend to get bought by customers, but they were so angry and scared they didn’t even Continue reading

0 My Top 10 of 2012! – things I’m grateful for today

My Top 10 of 2012! – things i’m grateful for today

Wow has this year flown by!  It feels like weeks ago that I gave Handsome a big lick at midnight to start 2012 right.

It’s certainly been a tough one for lots of us.  From wars to attacks to the continuing lousy worldwide economy, to horrible – even fatal – weather, 2012 has tested a lot of people’s and dogs’ patience.  But I’m optimistic about 2013.

Why?  Well, because I think we’ve learned a lot this year that can help us do better, because I believe the economy’s on the upswing, and because, well, I’m just that sort of cheerful mutt!

But also because so many things this year were wonderful.  Here are ten that I’m especially thankful for:

–      Water.  Sounds boring, I know.  What’s simpler or blander than water?  But you might have heard an old song that says, “You don’t miss your water till your well runs dry?”  I’m very active, and so pant a lot, and need to drink a lot.  So I’m grateful for water every time I find any.  And, as clean water gets harder to find, there’s no question, humans need to start caring for this most precious of resources better.  But for now, I just want to bid it a friendly nod of thanks!

–      Babies.  Another very normal thing – but aren’t they absolutely amazing?!  Just through luck, I’ve had a few new ones born around me recently, and I am always intrigued by their amazing minds, their deep souls… and, yes, the fascinating smells of their diapers!  I never met a baby I didn’t like, and I’m cheering babies everywhere, but I will take this opportunity to say a special hello to my pals Hazel, Sam, Avery, Chiara, and Judson!  Welcome to my crazy world!!!

–      The Black Keys.  I tend to like quieter music in general – the noisy stuff hurts my ears.  But I’m also a puppy at heart, and really fun jumpy tunes with a great beat do get my heart racing!  If you haven’t heard this band, or their SOOOOOO FUN album El Camino, you’re missing out!  Plus it’s so fun to howl along with the chorus of “Lonely Boy,” Oh-OH-Oh-Ohhhhhh!!!

–      Red Flags.  Last year, one of my top ten faves was about good friends sticking around and bad friends leaving.  On a similar note, I want to thank “Red Flags” this year.  That’s a term for when somebody does something that reveals to you that they’re not quite as trustworthy as you had hoped.  Like if you’re on a date with a boy who seems a total sweetheart and super-sensitive and caring, and he kicks a puppy and laughs about it.  Probably not the boy to stay with, right?!  Or that girl who’s everything you’ve ever wanted, but suddenly calls you a liar and a cheat because your cousin texted you ‘hello!’  Be Thankful for these moments!  They save us from such hurt and heartbreak later on, and leave you open for possibilities of…!

–      Paperman.  Speaking of romance, I don’t see new movies very often (it’s hard for Handsome to sneak me in to the theater), but last week I saw the most romantic, beautiful, touching love story I’ve seen in years!  And it’s maybe ten minutes long!  It’s a short, almost silent, cartoon film called “Paperman,” that shows before Wreck-It Ralph, which I’m sure you’ve all heard of by now.  And it’s sad and sweet and joyous, and all about the magic that can be created when someone refuses to give up on their quest for love.  Which is something any dog – especially any who’s ever been a stray – knows a lot about!  Love This!

–      The U.S. Election.  This is a tough one to include.  We all got SO BORED with the endlessness of this contest, with all the insults and lies and half-truths, and of course the incredible waste of money that went into it – money that could have done so many good things for the world.  But I still have to say, I liked that the main participants came off as smart (not always the case), that some real issues did get honestly debated, and that the results bode well for a future where more people will be respected, regardless of their race, gender, orientation, or religion.  But maybe the best thing about this election… is that it’s OVER!

–      Gluten-Free Pizza!  Last year I listed Pizza first among things I was grateful for.  But so many people have allergies to wheat flour that I have often found my human refusing to order it (and pizza is one of those things we dogs need you to do – it’s impossible for us to make; the toenails get in the way of our tossing the crusts, you know!).  Thank Goodness for the growing trend of Gluten-Free foods, so those people can enjoy the same dishes as others… and so they can get pizzas they’ll share with ME!!!!

–      Insects!  Everybody out there complains about bugs, how they get into food and bite and spread disease and such.  Well, I hate fleas and ticks as much as anyone, but I think our littlest companions deserve a bit of gratitude too.  Without them, life as we know it would end in minutes.  We need them in so many more ways than we know, and if we sit back and observe them, they have so many lessons to teach us – bees with their code of honor, ants with their mutual support.  I’m not telling you that you can’t bite a flea that’s biting you – I certainly do! – but when these fellas are leaving us alone, they’re worth a note of thanks.

–      YOU!  No surprise with this one!  I work hard, but it’s YOU who’ve made this site what it is.  The thousands of Pack Members, the tens of thousands of visitors, all of you who send questions in, and all who write back to tell me how my thoughts worked out… or just to say hi!  You are just the best bunch of friends a pup ever had!

But you know, up till now, I’ve been able to tell you that, but never to show it. But only up till now!  Because, through the magic of my wonderful friends Sherice and Martin…

–      Now you can REALLY Scratch My Ears!  You might have noticed that, on the right side of every page of AskShirelle.com, there’s a place that says “Scratch My Ears.”  And when you’ve clicked it, I’ve loved it and said ‘thanks,’ but now you get to SEE how much I love it!  Go for it. Ear scratches are one of those special things that you can never get enough of in life!  (Like Gluten-Free Pizza!!!)

So those are what I came up with off the top of my fuzzy head today.  What are YOU feeling grateful for?  (Or perhaps, not so grateful for?!!)

Have a great month and I’ll be in touch soon!

Shirelle

2 How to handle friends who show affection through insults

teenunchained asks: My friends are really cool and I love them so much, and it makes my dad happy cause he doesn’t think I’m antisocial anymore. But, my BFF’s show “love” by being mean and calling names. Bad things. I can’t eat without being self-conscious. I cry almost everyday. I want to be their friend because that’s how they are “loving” but it still isn’t nice, what should I do?

Hi teenunchained –

You’ll probably have noticed that not all dogs are alike.  Even though all us pooches want to be loved, some will run up and jump on you and cover you with kisses, some will stand there and wait for you to pet them, some will shy away in fear that you’ll hurt them, and some will see you as a threat and bark or even bite at you.

Similarly, although all people deep-down want friends, they’ll show and receive friendship in very different ways.  Some people show affection through complimenting each other a lot, some show it by relaxing with each other and not acting on any need to say anything, and others do it by trading humorous insults.  No one is correct, or better than the others; it’s just that different people are Continue reading

0 Why do some children start talking later than others?

Katiekazoo asks: I have three cousins. They are 2-4 years old, and can’t communicate with other people. For example, they can’t say “Auntie I’m hungry!” It worries me. Can you help?

Hi Katiekazoo –

There are a lot of possible answers to your question, but the main one that hits me is – are all three of them siblings in the same family?  You see, children who are learning to speak at approximately the same time often develop a language among themselves which only they can understand.

It’s not that they’re trying to exclude others.  It’s just that as they try to learn to speak with the adults, they’re ‘mislearning’ so many words that they’re the only ones who understand each Continue reading

0 What are good breakfast foods?

sega asks: What are some of the best easy breakfast options?

Hi sega –

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the term “the dog’s breakfast,” but I’m assuming that isn’t what you’re asking for!  (it means vomit!)

Well of course, I primarily love leftovers of whatever Handsome had for dinner the night before.  It’s always great, it’s very easy for him to prepare (just pull it out of the refrigerator and put it in my bowl), and I’ve always been craving it ever since he got home!

But you’re probably after something more usual.  Well, as good as they taste, my sense of nutrition tells me that starting the day with Continue reading