Brena asks: Can a boy live far away from me and fall in love with me?
Hi Brena –
Quick answer: Yes! It happens all the time!
The question is, what is that boy falling in love with? For example, all us dogs are really obsessed with smell. So there’s no way we could fall in love with someone we couldn’t sniff out. People tend to be more interested in sight and sound – they are attracted to other people’s looks and the sound of their Continue reading
Brittany asks: I just started summer vacation, and I’m excited. There was this girl in my class who wears make-up and dyes her hair (we’re talking about fifth grade here). I also have a YouTube channel, and I made a video of me and my friend doing random stuff. At one point in it, I told that girl to jump off a cliff. I was just playing, but when this kid in my class found it, everyone saw it. It was a while ago when I posted it, but people started taking it seriously. Near the end of the year, her mom came on a field trip, and I got chewed out. She told me to take it off of YouTube before she told the principal, but I couldn’t and it never came up again. The girl also said she was moving, but she’s still one of my Facebook friends. Should I be happy, scared, or ashamed right now?
Oh Brittany, this is a lot! Let me divide it into three answers:
First, about your posting that video. This is a huge problem, as you probably know. Nobody who ever lived before now ever experienced anything like the Internet. It used to be you could say something like “That mutt across the street stinks like he rolled in a litterbox,” and even if everyone in the neighborhood repeated it, we’d be talking about relatively few ever knowing about it. But today, something goes online, and it’s instantly viewable around the world, and hundreds, thousands, millions, billions could watch it. So the good news is that you got this experience at a very early age, and so can learn the big lesson: Be really careful about what you post online. Especially if you say anything against anyone, you’ll have to live with what you Continue reading
Angelbrat asks: Hey Shirelle, I have a friend who moved away from our town to study. We keep in touch by texting and e-mailing each other, and she seems unhappy. She always wanted to study spa and later make her own business but her mum made her decisions and she has to study Management. She tried to talk to her parents but nothing worked. Plus she has to do all her lessons in Dutch. Gosh, that is hard. As a friend it breaks my heart to know that she is really unhappy. How can I help her??
Wow Angelbrat, you’re right, that does sound hard! Both for your friend and for you!
It’s one of the hardest things for anyone with a big heart, to see someone they love going through a really tough time. We feel so helpless! I’ve watched Handsome go through everything from breakups to operations to hard classes, and not been able to do anything to help him.
EXCEPT – and this is really important – I always told him that I loved him. He’d be sitting all miserable on the couch, and I’d bring him a toy, or he’d be having a tough phone call and I’d walk up and lay my head on his Continue reading
Charis asks: I don’t know what has gotten into me, that makes me feel so self-conscious these days. I used to be unbothered with what I wore, only caring about whether or not it’s comfortable. But now, I think of how people would think about me, and whether my so-called fashion sense would allow me to fit in with my other friends. However, my friends said that I have a very ‘Auntie’ style. I usually wear long jeans with a sweater. To me, it’s just being conservative so as to avoid giving guys the wrong impression. But, to my friends, I am being a coward by being scared to show some skin. I tried to shop for slightly-above-knee dresses, but I felt uncomfortable in them. I can’t take it anymore. What do I do?
Well Charis, here’s the good and bad news: Welcome to Teenagerhood! It’s great that you got to spend your childhood being a sensible girl who cared mainly about comfort, practicality, and safety. Now here all that intelligence goes – whoosh – out the window!!
Now am I saying you’re not intelligent anymore? Of course not. In fact, in many ways, you’re smarter than you’ve ever been. But now that you’re a teenager, some things matter that never mattered before. Like just how important other people’s opinions are, and whether or not you’re attractive to the people you’re attracted to. And especially Being Continue reading
Angelbrat asks: I’m supossed to do my IGCSE exams in November, and yet I don’t feel like I’m ready! I’m always babysitting my little brother and at times I don’t have time for my studies! What should I do? Do you have any method of studying that can help me? I’m counting on you, please!
Hi Angelbrat –
It sounds to me like you’re dealing with two issues. As far as the question about study methods, I’d refer you to CaNdAcE’s question about school tips for teenagers. I threw some good stuff in there, if I do say so myself!
But I think you have a bigger problem than just study techniques. And that’s called Time Management. It’s hard for teenagers to manage time anyway, and you’re supposed to be babysitting your little brother – so how can you possibly get everything done?
The answer is the most boring word any teenager ever hears: Continue reading
ammo asks: I lost my love and I really miss him. I can’t live without him. What should I do? I can’t do anything without him coming in front of me all the time. Help me out please.
Oh ammo, I’m so so sorry. And I’d love to help you out… But the truth is I can’t.
I’d love to tell you that there will be another… And there will be, but I know you won’t believe that now.
I’d love to tell you that you’ll be better off, that the love you want is one that will last… And that’s true, but I know you won’t Continue reading
nanny asks: Why am I always alone?
Oh nanny, I know that feeling! It’s so painful!
But then there those days when I wake up and feel like I’ve got so many people and dogs around me I can’t find space to think! So if that’s true, I can’t really be alone, can I?!
The truth is that we often feel way more alone than we really are. We might spend a day by ourselves, but that doesn’t really mean we’re alone. We’re still in the minds and hearts of our families and friends, and we have so much effect (good and not) on others all the time. But when we feel alone, that’s about our Continue reading
Hannah asks: I really like this boy, and I don’t know how to tell him I like him. We just met and he’s really cute. I just really don’t know if he feels the same about me, and I don’t know how to get him too! Please help!!
Hi Hannah –
Well, first, I’d direct your attention to Sweetparker’s question, about her confusion over two guys (it’s listed in Previous Questions, under Growing Up, Life Skills, Relationships, and School). I talk with her about ways to try to find out what a boy thinks of you.
But I want to throw a couple of other thoughts at you as well. First, know that there’s nothing wrong with being nervous and shy. Most boys think it’s really cute! The only problem is if you’re so shy you can’t even approach the boy. For example, Handsome had his first crush on a girl when he was ten years old. He never had the guts to even meet her. The only words he ever said to her were when he accidentally stepped on her Continue reading
Chupa Chup asks: There’s a boy that goes to my school and he comes to school care and sometimes we fight and hurt each other and hit and kick and pinch and punch. I don’t know what I can do to make him stop hurting me all of the time.
Hi Chupa Chup –
Well, there’s an easy answer to your question, that I’ll bet you’ve heard adults say before: Stop fighting with him.
Now I’ll bet that just made you roll your eyes, because of course you can’t stop fighting with him, because he’s going to come at you and hit and kick and pinch and punch. Right? But maybe you can actually stop the fight instead.
You see, I’ve been in lots of fights. And I’ve won fights and lost fights. I’m a good fighter. But I don’t like fighting.
Actually, let me restate that. I love fighting, but not when it’s Continue reading
Bumpy asks: How can I make my parents trust me?
Boy, Bumpy, do I hear this one all the time from kids, teens, even some adults! Why can’t our parents trust us? We can be super-responsible in the eyes of the world, but these people, who know us the best and love us the most, have absolutely the worst opinion of our integrity and abilities!
Well, it’s one simple problem you’re facing: Diapers!
Yes, you read it right, I said Diapers! You see, when you were born, you were completely helpless – you couldn’t even lift your head up. And you’re here today and able to complain to me because your parents did absolutely everything for you back then. They knew you were helpless, and were there always.
Then you got a little older, and you started crawling around, walking, talking… you were feeling pretty powerful. But no matter how smart or tough you were, they knew that you were still helpless and had no idea how to handle life, because of the big bulge around your Continue reading