ammo asks: I lost my love and I really miss him. I can’t live without him. What should I do? I can’t do anything without him coming in front of me all the time. Help me out please.
Oh ammo, I’m so so sorry. And I’d love to help you out… But the truth is I can’t.
I’d love to tell you that there will be another… And there will be, but I know you won’t believe that now.
I’d love to tell you that you’ll be better off, that the love you want is one that will last… And that’s true, but I know you won’t believe that now.
I’d love to tell you that just about everyone in the world goes through this, and it makes them smarter and stronger and better people, and you’re going to be a better person for having gone through this and someday you might even be glad it happened… And that’s true, but I know you won’t believe that now.
I’d love to tell you that if you have any creative skills, this is a great time to dive into creativity, because so many of the greatest works of art ever have been created from just this place of misery and despair… And that’s true, but I know you won’t believe that now.
I’d love to tell you that Time is the great healer, and that over time you’ll stop seeing this guy everywhere you go, and dreaming about him, and thinking that everything anyone says, every song you hear, and even billboard advertisements are all about him… And that’s true, but I know you won’t believe that now.
I’d love to tell you that, for a lot of people, it’s great to get out and be with friends, see funny movies, go dancing, and maybe start dating other guys you aren’t even all that interested in, just to get your life moving… And that’s true, but I know you won’t believe that now.
But there is one thing I WILL tell you, ammo. And that’s that the most important thing at a time of grief is to take good care of yourself. And let yourself feel everything that you feel – even if it doesn’t make any sense to anyone else. You’ll go through all sort of feelings – about how great the guy was, about how you’re getting back together, about what a total loser he is and how you never cared about him at all – and they’re all necessary for you to get through this and move on.
So please, be good to yourself. Stay as healthy as you can, but let yourself feel everything you want to. And if you’re like me, that means there will be one night when you just howl at the sky, with a mournful cry that resonates with the whole universe.
And that’s true. It does resonate, everywhere. And that, that one thing, I really want you to believe right now.
Love and Licks,
PS: Oh that reminds me, one other thing: Go find yourself a nice dog, and cry on her. She’ll understand, she’ll give you lots of kisses, and she’ll tell you in better terms than I can here, about how great and magical the future can be. Believe that one too!