Chupa Chup asks: There’s a boy that goes to my school and he comes to school care and sometimes we fight and hurt each other and hit and kick and pinch and punch. I don’t know what I can do to make him stop hurting me all of the time.
Hi Chupa Chup –
Well, there’s an easy answer to your question, that I’ll bet you’ve heard adults say before: Stop fighting with him.
Now I’ll bet that just made you roll your eyes, because of course you can’t stop fighting with him, because he’s going to come at you and hit and kick and pinch and punch. Right? But maybe you can actually stop the fight instead.
You see, I’ve been in lots of fights. And I’ve won fights and lost fights. I’m a good fighter. But I don’t like fighting.
Actually, let me restate that. I love fighting, but not when it’s real. I love tumbling with my buddies, grabbing at them and being grabbed at, till someone yelps, and then we stop for a second – and then jump back in!
But real, serious fighting? That’s what I don’t like. In fact, I have a great way of dealing with it when someone picks a fight with me. A dog will attack me, and I’ll use my long legs to get above her, and force her to the ground. Instantly, my mouth (which you see in the picture is really long) is open and clamped onto her throat. She stops moving at once, feeling very nervous. And once she calms down, I let go and back away. Sometimes the other dog will then choose to ignore me, or to play in a way I like. And if so, that’s great. But if not, if the dog goes in for another attack, I do just the same thing again. Sometimes they learn. And sometimes they don’t, and eventually their owners just pull them away embarrassed.
So my advice to you, about this boy? First, it’s best to avoid fights whenever you can – you’ll probably both just get in trouble if you do it. Find some other way to resolve your differences. And no matter what anyone says, it’s okay to tell on someone who’s picking on you.
But if you’re forced into it, the best thing to do is to end it as fast as possible. If that means giving up, okay, you’ll live to deal with it another day. But if he insists on fighting instead, and if you can win, then just show him you’re able to take him, and then let them be. And you know the funny part? You might even get to be good friends out of doing that. It’s sure worked for me.
Thanks! Hope life’s getting better!