Category Archives for "Questions"

0 What are a teenager’s options if they realize they like someone who likes them?

arjai101 asks: There’s this guy who seems to like me, and I think I like him back. Only thing is I don’t know how to deal with the situation now that I know what I want. I’ve never had a boyfriend before and my schedule is pretty hectic. I know it seems like I’m avoiding it, but its only because I don’t know what to do? How should I approach the situation, and what are my options?

Hi arjai101 –

Your question is a gigantic one, and a very smart one.  So many teens rush into relationships, thinking that they need to act like they know what they’re doing, when they don’t at all!  You’re being very smart.  You “think” you like this guy back, and you don’t know what to do.

So my first advice is… stay cautious!  I don’t mean that there’s any reason to fear him, but just let things take their time.  He’s showing you he’s interested, so give him the chance to Continue reading

0 Why do we feel so uncomfortable when we see someone we’re attracted to?

burger143 asks: Why do I always feel uncomfortable every time I see my special someone? Is there anyway to stop this feeling?

Hi burger143 –

What you’re describing is absolutely universal.  When we feel (and yes I mean “we” – even we dogs have this!) a huge fondness for someone, everything about them becomes enormously important.  So the sort of stomach-ache you might normally feel only before a big test or speech will show up every time that “special someone” appears!  After all, if that person smiles at you, your world is glorious; if they don’t, you’re devastated.  So your body is just reacting to the stress that causes!

The only way to stop that feeling is to stop Continue reading

1 How to get someone to stop pursuing you

Crystal asks: There’s a man who has been crazy in Love with me for about five years. I don’t feel anything for him, and I don’t want to. He is good at studying and can say is a good guy, but he is not my type. He is one year my senior and we are in same grade in high school. He is poor and we have different religions. Furthermore, he said he can’t stop this and thinks he’ll feel it forever. Whenever he sends a message to me, I have always ignored it because I’m getting bored with this. What should I do?

Hi Crystal –

This is very hard for me to say, because I am a hugely romantic-minded dog, and love the idea of forever-romance.  But the fact is, this guy is wrong.  His feelings for you will not last forever.

Look, I’m a dog, and no one loves stronger and more passionately than we do.  But if we like someone who consistently ignores or rejects, or even lashes out, at us, we’ll eventually stop being interested in them.  And similarly, if we have an owner we love enormously, who sells or gives us away to someone else, we’ll learn to love those new owners in just that way (though it might take a long time), and kind of forget our first ones.

Now humans have much bigger brains than we do, which makes you smarter and more stubborn!  So I’m not saying that getting this guy to move on in his life will be as easy as it would be if he were a Schnauzer.  But the truth is, he will move on.

Your job is to find ways to make it happen Continue reading

0 How to handle a rebellious teenager who’s not even yours

sika asks: I have a 15 year old nephew. He has being staying with me for 4 months now. He does not respect me, nor my husband whom I married only a year ago. His behavior has brought constant argument between my husband and me, and he wants him to go back to his parents, but I am afraid it will bring sibling rivalry. Please, I need advice.

Hi sika –

What a tough situation!  It sounds like you and your husband are really trapped.

But, I would guess, your nephew feels the same way.  I’m wondering why he’s staying at your house – did his parents want him to leave their home?  If so, he’s probably feeling very unwanted and rejected, which might explain his general anger and disrespect (Lots of dogs in the pound behaved that way too; they didn’t tend to get bought by customers, but they were so angry and scared they didn’t even Continue reading

2 How to handle friends who show affection through insults

teenunchained asks: My friends are really cool and I love them so much, and it makes my dad happy cause he doesn’t think I’m antisocial anymore. But, my BFF’s show “love” by being mean and calling names. Bad things. I can’t eat without being self-conscious. I cry almost everyday. I want to be their friend because that’s how they are “loving” but it still isn’t nice, what should I do?

Hi teenunchained –

You’ll probably have noticed that not all dogs are alike.  Even though all us pooches want to be loved, some will run up and jump on you and cover you with kisses, some will stand there and wait for you to pet them, some will shy away in fear that you’ll hurt them, and some will see you as a threat and bark or even bite at you.

Similarly, although all people deep-down want friends, they’ll show and receive friendship in very different ways.  Some people show affection through complimenting each other a lot, some show it by relaxing with each other and not acting on any need to say anything, and others do it by trading humorous insults.  No one is correct, or better than the others; it’s just that different people are Continue reading

0 Why do some children start talking later than others?

Katiekazoo asks: I have three cousins. They are 2-4 years old, and can’t communicate with other people. For example, they can’t say “Auntie I’m hungry!” It worries me. Can you help?

Hi Katiekazoo –

There are a lot of possible answers to your question, but the main one that hits me is – are all three of them siblings in the same family?  You see, children who are learning to speak at approximately the same time often develop a language among themselves which only they can understand.

It’s not that they’re trying to exclude others.  It’s just that as they try to learn to speak with the adults, they’re ‘mislearning’ so many words that they’re the only ones who understand each Continue reading

0 What are good breakfast foods?

sega asks: What are some of the best easy breakfast options?

Hi sega –

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the term “the dog’s breakfast,” but I’m assuming that isn’t what you’re asking for!  (it means vomit!)

Well of course, I primarily love leftovers of whatever Handsome had for dinner the night before.  It’s always great, it’s very easy for him to prepare (just pull it out of the refrigerator and put it in my bowl), and I’ve always been craving it ever since he got home!

But you’re probably after something more usual.  Well, as good as they taste, my sense of nutrition tells me that starting the day with Continue reading

0 What to do when your girlfriend doesn’t want sex

jaatt asks: I am very shy. I want to have sex with my girlfriend, but she doesn’t like sex. So please tell me how I can force her into happy sex.

Hi jaatt –

Okay, let’s start with one simple statement, that means a GIGANTIC amount:  You should not, EVER, force anyone into sex.

I realize that lots of my Pack members aren’t that great with English, and so you might not have meant your question the way it came out.  But that’s really the point about this issue: you need to be extra-super-careful to make sure of two things:  first, that you never make someone feel like they’re being forced into sex; and second, that you never let anyone misinterpret that you have Continue reading

0 How to treat PTSD?

sazuna45 asks: My cousin is almost sixteen, and she’s had PTSD since she was thirteen. Now there are many reasons behind PTSD, but everything has been cut out, except for sexual abuse. She says there’s a high chance she’s been sexually abused (not raped, luckily). She says she doesn’t remember the full incident, just bits. She’s generally happy now, not knowing and moving on and all. But there are still hard times and her PTSD is getting worse. There’s no way to cure PTSD, as everyone says but it can get better. Right? Can you please suggest something that’ll make her PTSD get better?

Hi sazuna45 –

PTSD is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days.  People tend to think of it as a bad reaction to something bad that happened to them.  Actually, it’s pretty specific, and pretty awful.  The letters stand for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  It is a psychological condition brought on by something so traumatic as to be either life-threatening, or – and this is important – “a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others.”  So while lots of us can suffer the effects of something scaring us (“Paranormal Activity” anyone?!  Or that night I had a nightmare that I was attacked by a gang of Siamese Continue reading

3 Why would a well-cared-for teenager act out?

Nunu asks: We are a family of five. This is my and my husband’s second marriage each. We have a six-year-old daughter, and my husband has two daughters with his first wife. The eldest, 17, lives with her Mom. The youngest, 15, lives with us. The problem that we have is that the 15-year-old spreads lies and steals, which is why she came to live with us. We do not have any financial problems, so the girls get all they need and more. We are very loving parents, always involved with the children, and give them a lot of attention. Lately the 15-year-old has started lying about been emotionally abused and hit at home, as she did when she lived with her mom. She has also begun stealing from us (little things like money, jewelry, and makeup, etc.). We have grounded her countless times and taken her cellphone and laptop away for punishment. We have spoken to her and asked the reasons why she does these things and her answer is always “I don’t know.” She talks back, shouts at everyone, does not do her homework or assignments for school, and gets physically abusive towards our 6-year-old. Please help – we are at our wits’ end with her.

Hi Nunu –

There are so many possible reasons for her behavior that I’m hesitant to even guess what’s going on.  But here are a few possibilities:

1)    Even though you have been an attentive and caring set of parents, middle children almost always feel ignored and alienated in their families (largely because they never got as much attention as the other kids did in their early life).  Lying and stealing can be ways of trying to take power in an environment where they don’t feel any.

2)    Maybe not all her statements are complete Continue reading