Category Archives for "Featured Questions"

0 Should best friends date?

supermolly asks: I am superrr-close to this boy – he is like my best friend and we literally tell each other everything, and everyone is always going on about how we should get together and stuff, but we’re happy how it is. But lately one of my friends has been interested in him, and is trying to get me away from him, which I hate. But the other day I was thinking, “if he got a girlfriend what would I do,” and I’d be really upset now if I think about it. But I won’t admit my feelings to myself, and I’m really confused, and my best friend was asking him if he likes me like that, and he said he doesn’t know really – and that’s how I feel too! Can you help me?

Hi supermolly –

You know the oddest thing about your letter?  I’ve been doing this for a few years now, and you’re the first person to ever ask me this question!  I’m really surprised, because it seems like something that probably happens to humans all the time.

I don’t know your age, but of course it’s absolutely normal for humans to be friends one day, and then the next, as they mature, suddenly start looking at each other in different ways.  It would be extremely convenient if every human did this at the same time, say on their fourteenth birthday, or on the first day of high school.  But it doesn’t happen that way – some people start changing at age ten, and others not till fifteen, just like in every other aspect of teenhood (like body-shape changes).  It doesn’t mean you’re better or worse because of when it happens – it just Continue reading

0 How to deal with a bratty younger sibling

BlackGermanShepherd asks: My younger brother is 8 and he always hits me, and I get in trouble because of him. He always goes into my room and takes things and yells at me. I feel like I have no power over him. What should I do?

Hi BlackGermanShepherd –

Your problem sounds like something we dogs go through all the time.  Our humans’ friends decide it would be a great idea if they introduce their puppy to us, thinking we’ll be great pals – and the next thing you know, we’re being bitten, jumped on, and really annoyed for the whole time we’re supposed to play together.  Or worse, our humans actually decide to get a new puppy, and we’re putting up with this nonsense all the time!

And just as with you, the worst thing about this is that, when we get fed up and turn around and bite that little pest in the butt (which is completely a dog’s instinct, and how puppies have learned manners for millennia), who gets yelled at?  WE do!  It’s ridiculous!

Now I’m sure everyone’s been telling you that, over time, you and your brother will become great friends, and he’ll get very mature, and he’ll even become protective of you.  And I have no doubt that that’s true.  But that doesn’t help right now.  Now, what you need is a way to get through this.

For that, I have a few suggestions.  First, try to Continue reading

0 Should one lie to get a job?

jjlove asks: I am 13 and I want to apply for Avon, though they say I have to be 18. I am a very responsible person, and very good at selling. I have a meeting with an Avon lady, and I lied about my age (I look 21, but told her I was 18). I want to be honest and explain, but that would mean I wouldn’t get the job. What should I do?

Hi jjlove –

I don’t know the details about Avon, but I’m going to guess that, if they insist on your being eighteen, they’re going to insist on some sort of checkup on you; maybe a drivers license or passport or birth certificate?  If I’m right, you won’t make it through the application process, so it won’t even matter that you lied; you’ll just be found out.

But if I’m wrong, if you find that they actually would hire you – I still think the truth will come out at some point.  So I would strongly suggest you tell the truth.

And here’s the funny part – when you do, you’re going to Continue reading

1 What is a person’s ideal weight?

Chloe asks: I’m turning 12, I weigh 44kg and I’m158cm tall. My friends are about 140cm tall and weigh about 36kg. I always feel fat around them and they make me feel fat. I’m always trying to starve myself to loose weight. Am I fat?

Hi Chloe –

As a dog, I have a very simple and strong opinion about weight.  I like to chase squirrels.  In order to catch them, I need to be as fast as I can be.  If I am overweight, my weight slows me down.  If I’m underweight, I don’t have enough strength, and so I can’t get up to speed.  But if I’m my correct weight, then Watch Out, Rodents!

Today, humans are more obsessed with their weight than ever before, and have very specific ideas of what is the correct weight to have.  This is interesting, considering that different humans have different body densities, bone weights, etc.  You’ve probably noticed that two babies, who look just the same, can weigh very different amounts.  So what good do rules about weight, in terms of one’s height and age, do?

Well, they do a bit of good.  They tell a general range.  And if one is in or near that range, they’re probably fine.  But truly, I think my test (squirrel chasing) is a far better one.  If you’re in great shape, then you’re in great shape.  And who cares what anyone says about your ideal weight!

Having said that, Chloe, I looked at some charts online, and they all say Continue reading

0 How to compete with your friend over someone

ilikechicken asks: My school divides into two sections, and the kids in each only do things with the other ones in their section. My best friend, C, is in one section and I’m in the other. I never see him. But, my other friend (who I had a crush on) is in C’s section. One night when I was spending the night at C’s house, he said she was flirting with him. I got a little sad but kept it inside. What should I do? (I’m in contact with the girl through Instagram FYI)

Hi ilikechicken –

Now I’m having a bit of a problem here.  What you’re saying is clear, but you’ve left out a huge part: How did C feel about the flirting?!  If he was telling you that he’s not interested in the girl, but just wanted to warn you that she’s looking elsewhere than you, then my suggestion is that you get him to help you win her over!  Remember: You’re more interesting, because you’re not in their section of school, than anyone there is!

But if C is interested, then you have another issue – a far more difficult one.  And this question goes back centuries!  What a horrible situation to be in!  But of course, it makes sense – why wouldn’t you and your best friend be drawn to the same sorts?

If this is the case, I can’t give you a definite answer on what to do, but a few ideas strike me.  If one of these sounds good to you, you might want to try it:

1)    Go out to dinner with Continue reading

0 How to deal with a friend getting pregnant

prettyndsweet12 asks: I recently found out my best friend is pregnant. I’m really happy for her, but I wish I could be there with her to support her. She means so much to me: she’s a second mom to me, she taught me a lot and treats me as if I’m her own. I asked her if anything was gonna change between us, and she said she won’t be able to talk to me a lot – which is hard because she lives far away (well it’s not really far, but it seems like it because I hate not being able to see her). She said I’ll never lose her and we’ll still remain close, so my question is how can we remain close friends if I won’t be able to talk to her, and how do I get used to her being pregnant?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

I have a more long and serious answer to your question, but first I have to say: one thing about pregnancy is that you don’t have to get used to it, because once you get used to one stage, another one is happening, and before too long the pregnancy is completely over!  Then what you’re getting used to is a completely new and original tiny human being!  (Or sometimes more than one!)

What you’re really dealing with, prettyndsweet12, is mourning.  You had a relationship – a really great one – and it’s ending.  It will never be the same again.

Sometimes this happens because someone’s personality changes, sometimes it happens because someone moves away, and sometimes it happens because someone dies.  In your case, it’s none of those.  It’s just that the most wonderful amazing spectacular thing you could ever wish for has happened to your friend.  And while she’s still the lovely and loving person you’ve always known, your relationship to her will be as changed as in any of those other situations.

The important thing for you to realize is that the big word here is Continue reading

1 Why would a good student suddenly start doing poorly?

ilikechicken asks: Recently I’ve been turning in late homework and forgetting important things on tests. I don’t know what on earth is going on and my parents have already punished me a couple times. Please help!

Hi ilikechicken –

This is a really common problem.  In fact, I don’t know if I’ve ever known a human who didn’t go through this at some point.  The sad part is that your parents are doing what they think is best (punishing you), but you already feel bad about it, so punishing isn’t going to do any good.

I don’t know your life, of course, but I’m going to make a guess.  I’m guessing that you’re going through a big transition right now.  Maybe it’s something you’re aware of (you’re becoming a teenager and your body’s changing shape), or maybe it’s something else (you’re starting to develop new awarenesses and ideas).  Or maybe it’s something  outside of you, such as that your family’s moving or splitting up.

Regardless, it is totally normal for a kid – of whatever age – to have some trouble in this transition, and for it to show up in their schoolwork.

Why?  I don’t know.  But there are a lot of things about myself I don’t quite know.  Like, why is it that, every night when I go to bed, I lie across the bed instead of up-and-down it, even though I know Handsome’s going to shove me over to that other position when he climbs in?!  Got me, but I still do it!

There are really only two solutions to what you’re going through.  The first is to Continue reading

0 Does Handsome know Shirelle writes AskShirelle?

Audreykimberly146 asks: Does Handsome know that you make this website?

Hi Audreykimberly146:

Absolutely, Handsome knows all about the website.  I’m a pretty bright dog (in some ways), but I could never have set up the technology or the relationships to make this website work.  Handsome just has such a huge respect for my opinions that he’s gone to great trouble to help me do this, and help out people all over the world.

There are, however, a few things Handsome doesn’t know about.  He doesn’t know about my other social media, which involves what we dogs bark and howl at each other from distances; he doesn’t know what I learn by sniffing everyone all over; and he doesn’t know just how good it feels to be a dog, to run like crazy, to bark like I’m insane, to jump on everyone, and to never have to wear clothes (except on certain irritating occasions when he puts a shirt on me, finding it just hilarious).

But about this website, oh yeah, he knows it almost as well as I do.

Thanks!

Shirelle

0 Why do teenagers feel alienated?

Rach asks: I am nearly 19, but I don’t feel like I am as grown up as I should be. Almost every day, I’ve always questioned myself. Who exactly am I? What do I like and dislike? I just feel like everything is the same and nothing seems excited or satisfied for me. Is it because of my character, always being alone, not talking much and drifting apart from people?

Hi Rach –

The fact is, you couldn’t be more wrong.  You sound exactly like a perfectly typical 19-year-old human to me.

Adolescence is a tough time for all persons, and some people hit it earlier than others.  But it’s pretty much guaranteed that there will be some point when any teenager feels the way you do.  Yes, some might hit it at sixteen instead of nineteen, but it’s also really common for teens to stay in that feeling of alienation and self-doubt for five years or more!

It’s no accident that many of the greatest works of literature are about just this.  Shakespeare’s Hamlet is the most famous, and deservedly so.  But more modern works like J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, or even Twilight and The Hunger Games deal with this same feeling.

Some might call this simplistic, but hey, I’m a dog, so what do you expect:  When humans are children (if they have a good childhood), they believe the whole world makes sense.  Their parents and teachers have told them the truth, they have a view of the world that they believe is completely correct, and whatever goes wrong is due to their flaws, or to “bad guys” out there.

But then humans become adolescent, and lots of things Continue reading

0 How to choose which of your friends gets to go out with someone

Audreykimberly146 asks: My two best friends have crushes on the same person. They fight and hit each other. But in front of the teacher, they are as sweet as “Sugar Angel” (a term I use for super-sweet). They are asking me to choose because I am their crush’s best friend. We were in elementary school together, and now I am in Junior High School, and meanwhile they’re still enemies (I’m now at a different school from where they are. They are in our previous school but the junior high grade). Meanwhile, I have so much homework, as well as chores at home, so I can’t spend all this effort on them. What should I do?!

Hi Audreykimberly146 –

What an annoying situation!  It really sounds impossible!  But I do have a few thoughts on it.

First of all, the idea that they’re asking you to choose between them is so unfair.  You’re not even at the same school they’re at.  Why should you have to give up a friend just because they can’t get along?  I’m sure neither of them wants to lose your friendship, so why do they insist you have to pick one over the other?  My advice on this would just be to tell them both that you Continue reading