Category Archives for "Adults"

0 How to stop being the butt of your friends’ jokes

saf1 asks: For three years, I have been going out with a group of friends, and they often make fun of me and say that am ignorant and stupid. This is killing me from inside, and I am starting to think that maybe it is true. What should I do with these friends? Tell them about my problem? Or should I just go with it and believe that I really am stupid?

Hi saf1 –

Oh yucch!  This is truly distasteful!

Now I have no idea how little or how much you know.  Or how intelligent you are.  But I do know enough to say that if the people you go out with all the time are saying that you’re ignorant and stupid, that’s just awful!  What it sounds like is that they’ve put you into a “role” in their group, and that role is as the butt of their condescending humor.

If I’m right, the problem with that is that it’s almost impossible to break out of that role, as long as you’re in that group.  Some people try to break out of that kind of role by beating some of the members up (which might create some fear in them, which would at least slow down the insults), or to try to be so nice to each of them (giving them candies, etc.) that they’ll all be nicer to you.  The problem is, that last one doesn’t work very well, and of course getting into fights will get you into Continue reading

0 What to do when your best friend likes someone you hate

princess23 asks: Why do I get jealous of my guy best friend talking to the girl I hate with all my guts? Is this something I should worry about? Even though he always says he won’t ever change me for someone else, I still think that maybe she has something better. I really don’t want to lose him!

Hi princess23 –

Jealousy is about as normal an emotion as there is, and it’s not confined to you humans!  Believe me, I get livid when Handsome is petting another dog in front of me.  It’s not exactly that I’m worried, though – I just don’t like seeing it!

But having said that, the truth is that jealousy is also one of the most useless emotions we have!  And there is a big difference between saying “Hand off – he’s mine!” and worrying yourself sick about whether your friend or love is going to Continue reading

1 How to get a shy boy to talk to you

Kritika asks: Thanks for your earlier answer, but you didn’t have the situation clear. Here it is: A boy came in my class to talk a guy, and all my friends were saying his name loudly, teasing me; he heard it all and he just stood there blushing, looking at me and smiling. Then again during my sports week he came to my friends’ group where I was sitting talking, and ignoring him, but I checked him many times starring at me. I told my friends that I should say “hi” at least to him, but they said “no don’t, or you will look like a wannabe or too easy!” I think he’s expecting me to go say hi or even to ask him out. What should I do?

Hi kritika –

Oh, this is all very good news!  I mean, I was thinking that he didn’t care about you much, but clearly, he likes you!

I understand your friends wanting you to “play hard to get,” but it sounds like he really doesn’t have the social knowledge of how to approach you (and your classmates aren’t making it any easier on the poor guy!).

The best thing I can think of is if you and he have any mutual friends, maybe you could talk to one of them, and explain that you like this guy but that he has to ‘be the boy’ and approach you!  Standing around grinning just won’t accomplish a Continue reading

0 How to tell a fake friend from a real one

Prettyndsweet12 asks: What is the difference between a real friend and a fake friend, and how can I tell my true friends and my fake friends???

Hi Prettyndsweet12 –

I wish I had an easy answer for you.  The truth is that you never know that someone’s a fake friend until it’s too late, and they’ve done something that hurts you.  And that can happen with a friend you’ve had for a week, or for ten years.  You just never Continue reading

0 What to do when your grades suddenly fall

ZeeTan99 asks: I am an A-grade student (13 yrs old) but the problem is that I’m pretty sure I’ll get a D or something in TWO SUBJECTS! Tomorrow I’m gonna get my report card, and I don’t know how I’m going to show it to my parents. I’m having nightmares about this, and I just can’t stop thinking about it. It’s got me really stressed you can’t imagine. So please please, tell me what to do. I’m very very confused and I could really use someone’s help.

Hi ZeeTan99 –

Oh I know that feeling!  It’s like when I was being perfectly good and quiet and watching out the window, and a cat suddenly appeared just outside, and I jumped up yelling and broke a pane of glass!  And I hadn’t meant to do it, but I knew Handsome was going to walk into the room and be very unhappy about it!  You’re in exactly the position I was in as I heard his footsteps approach the doorway!

But do you know what happened when he got to me?  Sure, he was shocked at what had happened.  But then he checked my nose and my paws, to make sure there wasn’t any glass in them, and then he put me out back, so I wouldn’t step on anything sharp, and then he cleaned all the glass up very carefully.  Because he was way more worried about me than he was upset about the broken glass.

Now sure, when he paid the glazier who repaired the pane, he did give me an exasperated look and mutter “You knucklehead!”  But overall, he reacted to my mistake with love and concern, not anger.

Now, there’s a good chance that, if you’re right about your grades, your parents will first react with Continue reading

0 What to do when someone you like is ignoring you

kritika asks: I am a 10th-grader, and I really like a guy in 12th, and he’s gonna graduate soon. I told my friend about him, and she told him about my feelings and gave me his number. We started msging. He knew what I felt for him and he was pretty cool with it. For a while we talked a lot (we even did some dirty talks for a while) but now he hardly replies. I think he’s ignoring me, and I really love him! What do you think I should do?

Hi kritika –

Thanks for your question about the boy at school.

This is a tough situation, and I’m sorry you’re finding yourself having to go through it.  I’m a big fan of face-to-face meetings, and this is a good example of why.  You see, messaging and texting are really easy, and one reason they are is that the person you’re talking with isn’t quite as “real” as they are in real life.  For example, you don’t have to deal with the fact that I rolled in a dead squirrel this morning, and I don’t have to deal with you being grossed out by the way I smell (which I consider better than the most expensive Continue reading

0 What to do when you’re attracted to a friend’s or relative’s spouse

Pradeep asks: I like my brother’s wife. She is so sexy and I like her very much. What should I do?

Hi Pradeep –

Oh boy is that a tough situation!  I usually suggest to people that they pursue the people they’re attracted to, but in your case, that would almost certainly be a disaster!

So here are my suggestions:

1)    Try to spend more time with other women.  Date other women.  Befriend other women.  Go see movies with lots of beautiful women in them.  Your sister-in-law may be wonderful, but she’s not the only beautiful, sexy, likable woman in the world.  Work to make yourself more aware of this.

2)    To whatever degree you can, it’s probably best to stay away from her for a little while.  I realize you like each other a lot, but this could get really painful for you, and you should be kind to your own Continue reading

0 Some encouraging words for kids

Donna asks: What are your plans for the new year? What encouraging words can we tell our young people to keep them out of trouble?

Hi Donna –

If you’re referring to the New Year’s Eve/Day holiday, my plans are simple.  To stay at home, lying on Handsome’s bed, with my head as buried under his pillow as I can, so I don’t have to hear all the yelling, the horns, the screaming, and any fireworks or (how stupid can humans get!) guns being shot into the air.  I’ll lie there, hoping Handsome is able to drive home from whatever party he’s at without being hit and hurt by some drunk in a car… and then, once he’s home, I’ll curl up next to him and sleep so deeply and happily, knowing he’s safe and we survived another year.

Then the next day, hopefully he’ll take me out to a park or something, since he has the day off from work.  But if the weather’s too bad, or if he’s away at some party, I’ll probably just sleep some more!

But if what you meant was what my plans are for 2012, Donna, I have some great ones!  I plan to catch more Continue reading

0 What to do with someone you like who gives you mixed signals

Sumedha asks: There’s a guy whom I really like, but haven’t told him yet. In fact, like might not be the right word… it’s more than that I guess… and I know it sounds really silly but I cant really help it! And its difficult to understand him – sometimes he’s just too flirty and sometimes I think he’s dating someone else. One of my friends, who used to like the same guy, has even told him. He tried to handle the situation and said no, and then he stopped talking to her as much he used to do before. So now I’m afraid that the same thing could happen to me. If I don’t see him a single day I go mad; and I don’t know what to do. 🙁

Oh Sumedha –

I have so many questions on this website about crushes and how to talk to shy guys and all that kind of stuff, and I think it’d be great for you to look those up (just go onto the site and put words like “crush,” “shy,” or “like boy” into the Search box, and see what comes up).

But besides what all those say, this is a tough situation!  If I’m understanding you right, your friend told this guy you like him, and he said he wasn’t interested in you and stopped talking to her?!  But at the same time he’s really flirty with you?!

Well, my initial reaction is that he’s kinda Continue reading

0 What to do when your parents ask you to choose between them

Super dooper asks: My parents are split and now my mum is angry because my dad is taking me for holidays for a week during the time she is meant to have me and now she is making me choose. Please help! I do not know what to do.

Hi super dooper –

My friend, you are in an absolute stew of unfairness.  It’s always unfair to kids when parents split up, it’s unfair when decisions get made about where they’ll have to be at what time, and oh boy it is especially unfair when the parents make the kid take responsibility for their choices.  You are absolutely living this, and I am so very Continue reading