What to do when your best friend likes someone you hate

princess23 asks: Why do I get jealous of my guy best friend talking to the girl I hate with all my guts? Is this something I should worry about? Even though he always says he won’t ever change me for someone else, I still think that maybe she has something better. I really don’t want to lose him!

Hi princess23 –

Jealousy is about as normal an emotion as there is, and it’s not confined to you humans!  Believe me, I get livid when Handsome is petting another dog in front of me.  It’s not exactly that I’m worried, though – I just don’t like seeing it!

But having said that, the truth is that jealousy is also one of the most useless emotions we have!  And there is a big difference between saying “Hand off – he’s mine!” and worrying yourself sick about whether your friend or love is going to leave you.

The difference is in how you view yourself.  Protecting your right to what’s yours is one thing, but the worrying is really about how you view your own worth – and that kind of jealous worrying will just eat you up alive!

This is your best guy friend, right?  So why in the world would he abandon you for this other girl?  Now he might become friends with her, which would be very annoying I’m sure.  But that’s no reason for him to throw you away like an already-licked pizza box.

Of course the best thing you can do is to sit this guy down and tell him what you’re feeling.  And perhaps to include why you hate this girl so much.  Is she dishonest, manipulative, cruel?  He should know about those things!  Or is there just something about her that irritates you, like cats do me?  If that’s the case, then there’s really nothing you can do, but there’s also nothing to fear.  Who knows?  Maybe through him you can actually learn to like her!  (Or not – Handsome liking some kitties hasn’t exactly warmed my heart to them!).

The most important thing, though, is to look into your own heart, and separate what’s dislike for her (which is okay) from your bad opinion of yourself and your own worth (which is not!).  And treat that bad opinion waaaay worse than you’d ever treat that girl!  Kick it out of your life, out of your house, out of your country, out of this planet!

And the more you can live without it, the better life will get.  Even if that girl is still in it!








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