Category Archives for "Adults"

0 What can help arthritis?

majuliann asks: Can eating apples heal Arthritis? If not, which fruits can?

Hi majuliann –

Humans and dogs disagree about lots of things.  Dogs like licking strangers’ faces; humans usually don’t.  Dogs like sniffing where someone’s peed; humans don’t. Humans adore cats; we don’t.

But one thing we definitely agree on is that we both HATE arthritis!  This awful, painful, chronic, debilitating disease has absolutely nothing to like about it!

Actually, the term “arthritis” applies to over a hundred Continue reading

0 What is Self-Trust

Anes asks: What is self-trust?

Hi Anes –

Self-trust is something that everyone in the world wants to have, but some people don’t.  It literally means trusting yourself to do things that you believe in, and will be best for you.

It’s hard to describe self-trust, because it’s so simple.  So let’s talk about its opposite instead.  Have you ever seen any of those cool old Wolf Man movies from the 1940s?  They’re not like the Taylor Lautner character in the “Twilight” films; these are about a man who is totally normal, nice, all that, but who’s bitten by a werewolf and so becomes, on nights of the full moon, a bloodthirsty murderous monster.  Then the next morning he’ll wake up, having no memory of what he’s done, but with evidence (like mud or blood) that it’s happened again: he’s killed innocent people.

Now that man has a severe case of lack of Continue reading

0 What to do when a friend resents your helping them

adriannaar asks: I helped a friend with an important problem, and all our friends that were involved became mean to me. What should I do? They are all giving me the cold shoulder.

(Note: This is actually a conversation, because I wasn’t clear enough at first about what the problem was)

Hi adriannaar –

Wow, it sounds like something is really off here.  Normally, when friends get together to help someone, it improves their relationship.  They’ve felt a kinship in their cause, and no matter what happens afterward, they’ll always have some love for each other from that bond.  We see this most clearly in battle, where soldiers who wouldn’t otherwise like each other at all develop a deep connection and devotion for each other that lasts through their lifetime, through their shared devotion.

So, yeah, something is off.  I can only imagine two possible scenarios here.  The first is that these people had something against you before any of you started to help that friend, but they didn’t show it until after your ‘project’ with that friend ended.  But that seems really unlikely.  Especially since they weren’t treating you badly till afterwards.

The more likely answer is that there’s something you did, or that they Continue reading

0 When the Whole World Shifts – how to deal with our fear of disasters

When the Whole World Shifts – how to deal with our fear of disasters

I love comfort. I spend most of my day curled up on Handsome’s bed, or on the floor near a window where I can see what’s going on outside, or out in the yard where I can hear and smell everything. I’m very happy doing this. And I get annoyed when someone interrupts me and takes away my comfort.

But it boggles my little mind to try to imagine what it must be like if someone’s comfortable world completely changed. What if our house suddenly collapsed, or if our yard suddenly turned into a lake, or if the complete government was taken down and suddenly we didn’t know who was running the country?

These unimaginable things have happened in our world lately. The huge earthquake and tsunami (now there’s a word for spelling tests!) that hit Japan have destroyed homes and buildings and… well, way more than we know yet. And in the Middle East, nation after nation is experiencing people taking their governments down. What’s it like to live in these places? What’s it like when the world you know totally changes?

It might be a fun thing for you to write a story about what it would be like if that happened to the place you live. (The best thing about stories like that is that you can always make yourself the star, and do lots of heroic things!).

But it can also be really scary to think about. We go through our days expecting things to stay pretty much as they are, and that’s how we get by: grown-ups need to believe their jobs will last at least for a while, or else they can’t make any plans. And kids – hey if you didn’t know if your school would be working tomorrow, I’ll bet you wouldn’t do your homework tonight. (I know, that might not sound so bad!)

So how do we get by, knowing something crazy could happen, but counting on life going on as normal? The best way I see is to prepare however you can, and then trust the preparation. We dogs, and kids, don’t like to be super-responsible, but just a bit of thought can really help later on.

So it’s a good idea to talk with your family and friends about what preparations you have. Of course you can’t prepare for anything that might happen (Martian Invasions, for example – how do you prepare for that?!), but you can prepare for the most likely problems you’ll face.

Maybe there are specific things about the area you live in (People in California should have setups to use in case of an earthquake. People in Kansas should be ready for tornadoes. People in New York should have preparations for blizzards. People in India should be ready for monsoons!). What’s special about where you live? And what should you have ready?

But there are other things that apply to everywhere. Everybody should have flashlights and candles for power outages, extinguishers for fire, a first-aid kit, and some bottled water. And do you have a setup for how you and your family would communicate if something happened when you weren’t at home? Maybe a place you could agree to meet if you couldn’t get home? And do you all know how to reach emergency services if you needed them (in the United States, for example, to call 911)?

And on that subject, if you have a dog or a cat, do they have identifying information, in case they get lost? Tags on collars are the most important, but sometimes my collar has come off! So my veterinarian one day injected a tiny chip into my shoulder. It didn’t hurt any more than a normal shot (I still didn’t like it, but it wasn’t that bad!), and from now on, if I’m ever picked up by the police or a dog catcher, they’ll be able to read the chip through a scanner, and let Handsome know where I am. I really recommend these for your pet friends.

Meanwhile, there’s an amazing fact that’s coming out from these troubled areas in our world. As chaotic (a big word that means everything’s going topsy-turvy) as things are in Japan, people are being incredibly kind and polite to each other. And even in the revolutions in the Middle East, most people in
the streets have been treating each other really well.

There’s a great lesson for all of us here, in case of a disaster: If you need help, be really nice. And if you’re the lucky person who is doing okay, help out the other person.  Everyone’s scared, everyone’s tense. And even if they aren’t as nice to you as you are to them, that’s okay – still try to be kind.

For example, if you approach a scared starving dog, it might growl or snarl or even try to bite you. So don’t get too close; be careful. But you could still leave it a treat, and know that you’ve helped the poor thing out. One thing disasters teach us is how connected we are, and how much we have to care for each other.

Whew! Okay, enough of that! Now it’s time to change my tone!

You see, it’s awfully important to remember that most of us are doing okay. If you’re old enough to know about probability, remember that the odds of getting hurt in an earthquake, tornado, hurricane, or any other natural disaster, or even a human one like a revolution or a war, are really small.  Especially for a kid.

And the humans of the world are better at knowing what to do to in a disaster than ever before, by a long long ways. As I’m writing this, the world is very focused on the question of something possibly going very wrong with the nuclear power plants in Japan. Now I can’t begin to understand the details of nuclear power (I am a dog, after all!), but what I do know is that these plants are built better than they’ve ever been before, and people know more about how to help keep them safe than they ever have before. And beyond that, even if something absolutely horrible were to happen, it would help people in the rest of the world learn more about how to keep such plants safer (or maybe just that they can’t be kept safe, and we just have to get by with less energy for a while, which would be very sad for everyone).

But I’m not saying to do nothing. The best thing you can do is to try to help. Maybe you can send some money or other donation. Maybe you can work in a project with your school or church to help. And on that count, if you believe in prayer or manifestation or even just good thoughts – then send them.  Everything helps.

But meanwhile, unless you’re there on the streets of Cairo or Tripoli, or in the rubble of Sendai, be grateful. Be glad. You’re safe from these problems. Your job is to live, to have your own adventures. Sure, be prepared for what might go wrong, but at the same time, don’t live in fear of it. Live your life, and be kind and helpful to others. And I can promise you almost everything’s going to be all right.

So now I’m going to “practice what I preach,” and go outside and have a good sniff to see if any sassy squirrels have been around, and then I’m going to climb onto Handsome’s bed, curl up against his pillows so that my nose rests on my tail, and try to send some really good doggy wishes to all those kids and pups who are having a tough time tonight.

And to look forward to waking up into a tomorrow that is safer and more peaceful than any we’ve ever known. A tomorrow I’m so happy to share with you.

0 How to become fat

shaun army asks: How can someone become fat?

Hi shaun army –

It’s funny, I get asked how to lose weight all the time, but you’re the first one to ever ask me how to become fat!

Well, you can tell from my picture that I’m a pretty skinny pooch, but I think today’s world offers a huge number of opportunities for people (and dogs) to find out how to gain non-muscular weight.  Among the best ways are:

1)    Eat lots of unhealthy food.  Sugars, fatty meats, fried foods, and processed carbs (like cakes and cookies) are especially good for this.

2)    Drink lots of sugary drinks, and, if you’re of age, lots of alcohol (which turns to Continue reading

0 What does “gay” mean?

zaroon asks: What are gays?

Hi zaroon –

“Gay” is a fairly new term for people (the term usually means men, but sometimes means both men and women) who are sexually attracted to people of their own sex.  The more long-standing term is “homosexual,” which means the same thing.

The word “gay” used to mean something very different, a carefree sort of happy.  The decade of the 1890s was referred to as “The Gay Nineties,” due to its partying atmosphere and bright music, for example.  As the word’s usage as a term for homosexuality has risen, we’ve pretty much lost the old meaning, which is too bad, since there’s no other word that means the exact same thing as it did.

As humans tend to do, many will tell you other answers to your Continue reading

0 How to solve a medical problem?

johnny asks: What medication can I use for my 2-year-old boy suffering from difficulty in breathing?

Hi johnny –

I love compliments.  I absolutely adore them.  I get so happy when dogs sniff me all over, or when people hug me super-tightly and coo “Oh Shirelle you’re so soft!”  Or when people write me letters saying how much they like what I write.

But there’s such a thing as being too complimentary.  No one should vote for me to be the Secretary General of the United Nations, since I can’t speak.  No one should put me on an Olympic ski team, since I can’t fit in ski boots.  And no one should use me for a doctor, since I absolutely lack the education for it.

So while I love your question, I’m also going to tell you that I can’t begin to answer it.

I hear about medications for asthma that are simply Continue reading

4 Do breast-enhancement pills work?

isha asks: Do you believe that breast-enhancement pills work to increase the size of your bust?

Hi isha –

Let me remind you of one very important fact here:  I am a Dog.  We dogs do not ever develop the supple breasts that human women do.  In fact, we really wouldn’t want to!  First, they’d get in our way as we crawl around on our chests.  But more importantly, we don’t have one or two babies at a time like you people do.  We have litters of eight or more puppies at once!  Can you imagine what a dog would look like if we had eight full breasts so we could feed all our young?!

What we have instead are small nipples, or teats, just big enough for our puppies to drink from.  Only nursing mothers or older females who’ve had lots of puppies even have teats that you’d notice from a few feet away.  They don’t affect our appearance, or our attractiveness to males, in any way.

Obviously, this is very different from humans.  Human females are expected to undergo some very major changes in their bodies’ shapes when they reach maturity (in their teen years).  And their new body shapes have a profound effect on their attractiveness – both in their own eyes and in those of Continue reading

1 How should a teen deal with pornography?

kavin24 asks: I’m a 13-year-old girl. Recently I watched some sexual videos. I don’t want to watch them, but now I can’t stop. I can’t tell my mom about this. I want to be a good child, so please tell me what can I do.

Hi kavin24 –

You’re really dealing with two giant issues here, both of which are about timing.  On one hand, thirteen is a very normal age for a girl to start thinking and feeling more about sex.  There’s nothing wrong with your curiosity and interest.

On the other hand, you’re also living in a time unlike any before, where very explicit sexual material is easily available to anyone at anytime, in incredible amounts, through the Internet.  Let me clarify this further – you have more access to pornographic material than anyone in the world did twenty years ago or more.

What’s really unfair about this is that Continue reading

0 How to improve communication

Prettyndsweet12 asks: A few months ago my friend moved, but I still text her and we chat online, but she hasn’t been answering me lately. I have a bad habit of constantly texting her when she doesn’t respond, because I don’t want to lose her, and I get scared because I don’t know if she is ignoring me because she is mad or if something happened. Please help me to get rid of my bad habit and help me to relax when she doesn’t respond. Also I have been having communication problems with my mom; she always yells at me instead of reasoning. What should I do?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

You’re absolutely right to connect these two questions, prettyndsweet12.  Because both are about styles of communication.

You see, there’s nothing wrong with you texting your friend.  The only thing that’s wrong is that you slip into an anxious habit of texting too many times.  Similarly, I’m sure your mom has good reasons to get upset with you (don’t all parents?!), but she’d have better luck with your behavior if she’d do something other than yell.

The trick, in both cases, is to change how the person deals with their initial urge.

This sounds complex, but it’s really pretty simple.  When I was a puppy, every instinct in me told me to bite.  To bite everyone, and everything, all the time.  And the more excited I got, the more I liked to bite.  So if I met you, you’d probably say “oh what a cute puppy!” and reach down to pet me, but I’d be chomping on your fingers before you ever got to my soft fur.  And when you pulled your hand back, I’d lunge at your ankles with my teeth out like knives.  I was cute enough to get away with it most of the time, but I was really pretty annoying.

The trick Handsome learned was to have lots of stuffed toys around.  So whenever I’d jump in to bite anyone, he’d stop me with a loud “No!” and then grab a toy and stuff it into my mouth.  Once I bit down on it, he’d change his whole tone, pet me, and tell me what a good, smart, wonderful puppy I was.  Eventually (note the word “eventually!”) I learned to, when I wanted to bite someone, run and grab a toy instead.  I’ve done that ever since!  Seriously, if you came to our house now, I’d run up to you, sniff you, give you a little lick on your hand, and then run grab a toy and chomp down on it like it was a candybar, and shake it like crazy!

You see, what Handsome did was to teach me to, when I felt the urge to bite someone in fun, do something smarter instead!  And that’s what you and your mom both need to learn to do.

So can you, when you get frustrated with your friend not responding to your text, put that energy into something else?  Maybe you could jump up and down, or hit a pillow a bunch of times, or perhaps write notes to yourself about your frustration?  Anything is fine, as long as it doesn’t have a bad effect on yourself or others.

Now when it comes to your mom, that’s a bit tougher, because what we’re asking about is your ability to change her behavior!  And of course, no one can ever change someone else’s behavior!  Even when Handsome was stuffing toy animals into my mouth, he wasn’t really changing my behavior; he was just giving me reasons to want to change my own actions, and trying to clarify the best way for me to do that.

But you’re not your mom’s owner, and you’re not about twenty times her size!  So you can’t do quite the things Handsome did!

What you can do, however, is this:  you can invite your mom out to dinner.  You can say to her, “Mom, there are some things I really want to talk about with you, and I want to do it in a special place where we can talk for a while.”  And if she won’t go out to dinner with you, you can plan out a time to talk at home, or to take a walk together.  The important thing is that she sees you taking charge and acting very adult.

(If you do this, there’s a good chance she’ll think you’re talking about something that scares her silly; so when she finds out you’re only trying to change her yelling, she’ll be thrilled!)

Okay, then when you get her alone, talk with her about the yelling, in as understanding and adult a way as you possibly can.  Explain that you understand that she’s your parent, that she needs to teach you things, and that sometimes you misbehave in ways that can be really irritating.  And then say that her yelling is actually getting in the way of what you and she both really want most, which is for her to help you learn and grow.  And that (here we go…) what would serve you best would be for her, when she feels like yelling at you, to do something else, something that would get your attention but not be so scary, or so loud.  Simply put, if she could just trust that, if she simply explains what’s wrong, and talks it out with you, the result will be better.

Now here’s the big deal with this, prettyndsweet12:  You then have to prove yourself right!  If she agrees to this idea, and then you do something that bothers her (say, you don’t turn the TV off when she’d asked you to), and she tries to calmly explain to you why that bothers her, and you don’t change your behavior… you’ve just blown it.  She’ll start yelling again.

In other words, for this to work, YOU have to change more than she does.  But if it does work, it will do wonders for your life.  You won’t only have less yelling in your house; you’ll have a whole new relationship with your mom, one based in mutual respect and appreciation.  It’ll be simply amazing.

Just like how, once I learned to chase those stuffed toys, Handsome was able to relax and enjoy introducing me to all his friends.  And our lives got just amazingly better.

Good Luck with all this.  If you can manage these changes, prettyndsweet12, it’ll change your life forever!

Cheers,
Shirelle