Wooff asks: As of recent times, I’ve been in a state of mind where I miss things from my past a lot. How they used to be 3 years ago, who I was friends with and maybe even the person I was. I don’t regret turning the way I did but back then I feel like life was somewhat easier. I didn’t have to study my butt off for anything. People liked me more and I didn’t have much worries. I don’t even know what I want to do when I’m older. I’m 18 right now and I have around 2-3 years to figure that out. But I’m going to have to select something to study in 2 years. And I have no clue. I was wondering, am I better off careless, clueless and happy or am I better off wiser, older and more understanding? I know you’re going to say that the latter is better but I feel like when I was more unaware of everything, I was somewhat happier. I used to have something to be excited or happy about but now it’s like I don’t know, I’m not unhappy but I’m never really that happy or excited. Things seemed more magical back then and despite the fact that I have so much more responsibilities now, I feel like I had more things to do when I was younger. Things I enjoyed even if they were just mere chores. I know at this point I’m rambling but I just need someone to walk me through this particular stage of being human. I know how I feel right now isn’t my final destination and that I need to feel like this for something better to form. But I just need some more insight as to what I should do or if I’m even supposed to feel all this that I’m feeling. I act like I don’t regret my decisions but if I’m being honest, I’ll tell you the truth. I wish I did make other choices back then. I wish I listened to myself and didn’t listen to myself. I miss my friends from back then but these friends are not the same people they once were and while we are in friendly terms, it’s not the same. I wish I never let go of that boy I liked back then. I wish I had someone to talk to right after I came back from school. Do you know anyway Shirelle I could get back that happiness and excitement in my life? Everything seems so bland now. And I never get excited. I used to talk to my crush and that meant so much to me and now I can’t even like someone. I just feel a bit lost but not lost, you know? If you have any idea what I’m talking about please let me know because I’m just so clueless. I’m not depressed, sad or anything.
Hi Wooff –
I always love your letters – they’re so beautifully written and expressive. And say things that are so right about life.
But in this one, you got something wrong. Really wrong. SO wrong!
You said you were sure that I’d say you’re better off “wiser, older and more understanding” than you were “careless, clueless and happy.” Now maybe your parents might say you are, or a counselor at your school. But you’re forgetting what and who I am! I find meaning in my life by leaping into a creek just for the joy of running, and then jumping onto strangers and getting mud all over their nice clothes. My idea of pure joy is chasing birds I have no hope of catching, but trying with everything I’ve got. And my idea of love is getting into a wrestling match with Handsome, where we’re both growling, fighting, and giving kisses to each other the whole time. I love “careless, clueless, and happy.” About 23 hours a day, that’s exactly what I am!
But you are a human, with that gigantic brain, and nothing is ever going to be as simple for you as it is for me.
Speaking of your brain, let me help you first by explaining something about one area. When a human is in their teen years, their brain actually experiences more joy (and misery) at little things than at any later time in their life. Those songs you heard when you were twelve will always be the brightest, sexiest, most romantic you ever hear, because your brain was that age when it heard them. The way your friends made you laugh till you had to change your underwear – that’ll never be as frequent again. The crazy mad crush you had at thirteen – you’ll always be a little bit in love with that person; it’s just a part of your brain.
But am I saying you’ll never get as much pleasure ever again? No way, I’d never say that! But things will have to be actually better for you to feel that way about them. You’ll hear an absolutely brilliant song performed so beautifully it brings tears to your eyes, and it will thrill you just as much some mediocre pop tune did when you were in seventh grade. You’ll hear a truly hilarious joke, told by someone with brilliant timing, and laugh as hard as you did twenty times a day back then. And you’ll fall in love with someone so wonderful they actually deserve your crazy wild feelings for them.
And right now, you’re not getting any of those. And that’s a drag.
So how do you get them? Well, the first thing I suggest is that you Continue reading