uday asks: How to attract teenage girls
Hi uday –
I’ll throw an answer at you, but first, I have to make a confession. As a pup, I really don’t recognize ages that well. I certainly understand certain issues that pertain to teenagers more than to anyone else (final exams, drivers licenses, and zits, for example!). But when it comes to something like what is attractive to teens, versus women in their 20s, the trends change so fast I can’t keep aware of them. So I’ll give you some general thoughts, but you’ll have to make some of them more specific yourself, based on the teenage girls you know.
So how to attract women:
1) Like Them. You wouldn’t believe how often I see humans who want people they don’t actually like to be attracted to them! It won’t work (except with cat-like people who are attracted to people who despise them. But they’ll just make your life difficult!). So before you worry about how to be attractive, decide who you want to be attractive to, and why. The more you get to know about them, the more you’ll see things you like and things you don’t. And that’s good. Imagine being a pop star who hated girls who loved their music. It just wouldn’t make sense, would it? Whereas it’s very clear that the Justin Biebers and Chainsmokers of the world really like their fans being their fans. You sure don’t see them sneer at them “You’re so stupid, I only like people who love classical music!” So find who you like, and find out more that you like about them, and that energy will pour off of you.
2) Take Care of Yourself and Dress Well. Now here’s a great example of what I mean when I say that you’ll have to determine this yourself. There are girls out there who love skinny guys in t-shirts and jeans (Ever seen The Big Bang Theory, for example?). There are others who like Justin Timberlake sorts who dress snazzy, are well-groomed, and practice dancing so much you can see it when they walk. Then there are those who are drawn to guys with big muscles, who dress conservatively but in ways that show their strength. But what all these guys share is that they actually do take care of themselves – whether by just eating healthy or by exercising a lot – and dress in a style that shows their pride in themselves. Whereas the guys who try to hide by dressing dully, who don’t take care of their hair or teeth, who don’t like to look in the mirror, who treat their bodies badly by eating junky food or smoking or worse… there’s nothing about them that’s attracting anyone. So decide who you want to be… and BE it!
3) Be Popular. Yes I know that’s just awful, and everyone hates to hear it, but people do tend to be attracted to what they see other people attracted to. And just like the way I figure some food must taste good if I see my human friend Handsome enjoying it, people will assume that someone others desire is more desirable. So if there’s a way you can make yourself popular, even if it’s among the boys, it will make you more attractive to girls. If not, it’s not the end of the world – lots of women like loners too – but all else being equal, even a little popularity helps.
4) Be Confident. This is the hardest thing to achieve, and probably the most important. Arrogance and Conceit can be very UNattractive, but true confidence is the quality that attracts everyone the most. Whether that’s confidence in a skill, confidence in your looks, or simply confidence in your likability. Imagine you walked into a park and saw two dogs. One is shy, nervous, looks at you out of the side of their eye, and stays back, while the other (who might just look a lot like me) walks around with her head held high, playing with others, fearing nothing… who are you going to be more likely to call to you? That shy dog might be just as sweet, but I’m the one you’ll find more actually attractive, right? And this leads to…
5) Be Friendly! Yes I know there’s a lot to be gained by being cool, distant, mysterious. But even the guys who do that eventually need to let the girl they’re interested in know it! So when you’re dealing with people, especially girls, be someone they’d like to hang out with. Help someone with their homework, get into conversations, tell jokes and laugh at jokes. And when that special girl you’re really into shows up, don’t blush and run away, or be too cool to talk to her. Remember that you’re actually equal (In my eyes, you’re both just humans, and until you pet, play with, or feed me, no one of you is better than any other, regardless of looks, grades, or status). I remember hearing some people discuss, a while back, that beautiful women are among the loneliest people in the world, because men are afraid to talk with them. So don’t be that guy – talk to her. And if you can make her laugh, or help her out with something, you will become ATTRACTIVE, at least to a degree.
Okay, those are my positive suggestions. But I’m going to throw in one negative one as well:
6) Don’t Smother Them! I love my friend Handsome more than anything in the world, but sometimes he hugs me too tight and it makes me gag and cough. It’s worth it to me; again I’m just crazy about him. But if I didn’t already love him, I might avoid him because of this. Similarly, when you get a girl a little interested in you, give her some space. Let her get more interested in you. Don’t crowd her. Don’t blow her phone up with texts, don’t call her ten times a day, don’t keep her from talking to her other friends at school. And please don’t tell people there’s more between you than there is, or put her on the spot in public by talking about how attracted you are to her – those will kill any possible interest. Let her come to you a bit. You can still pursue, but just, like a fly fisherman, let her have to show some interest too.
Okay, I’m sure you’d have liked a lot more details, but those are what I’m saying you’ll have to fill in. I’d have to know the specific girls you’re talking about to give any better suggestions. (I don’t even know what country you’re in unless you tell me). But if you can master these skills, you’re in good shape to attract, not just teen girls, but people of all sorts for the rest of your days!