Is it wrong to go out with a boy you just like, when you still have a crush on someone who rejected you?
Sonia asks: Hi just so you know, I have gotten over that boy I asked you about months ago! And also I am not the kind of girl who goes after any guy they see. Anyway back to the subject, basically I have had a crush on a sweet guy for about 4 and a half months and we are pretty close, but someone found out I liked him and told him (I had a HUGE breakdown!) And anyway I have the feeling that he isn’t gonna ever like me since my friends and him were talking and he said he only liked me as a friend and I’m happy with that but for some reason I just always get jealous when he seems more interested in my friend than me. But the strange part is I met my friend’s brother a few weeks back and yesterday I slept over at her house and hanged out with him, he was really cute sweet and reminded me of my old crush, and HE genuinely seemed interested in me and I have the feeling I’m falling for him and I don’t know what to do, try and become closer with my crush or become close with someone who I really like and even seem to have a better chance of liking than my crush will ever have of liking me?
Hi Sonia –
As I read this, it takes me back to my days in the pound, when I had been there longer than was supposed to be allowed (an employee there had been so nice as to hide my information from her boss, to keep me alive longer!). Every few minutes, people would walk in and look at me, and all the other dogs there. Some of them looked nice, and some smelled just terrific. Eventually, one of them asked to take me out of the cage, and played with me a little. I jumped on him, licked him, chewed on his finger… we had a great time. And after a bit, he decided to take me home. Which is where I’ve lived ever since.
Now I want you to try to imagine me, instead of licking him and playing with him, being standoffish. Saying “I’m not so sure I want this one to take me. I liked that other one, the one who was here yesterday morning and bought the Labrador. She was better.” What would have happened?
I know the answer! Handsome would have said “Oh, she’s not what I thought she’d be like,” put me back in the cage, and taken another dog home – one who liked him better. And I would have been taken, within a couple of days, down the hallway, through the door, to the room from which no puppies ever return.
Now your fate isn’t quite as frightening as mine, but to my mind, you’re in the same situation. A boy you like tons isn’t interested in you, and actually is interested in some other girl. A boy you like, but maybe not quite as much, is interested in you. So you’re not sure what to do.
My advice is 100% GO OUT WITH HIM! See how he treats you. And if he’s nice, and fun, and treats you well, you’re going to like him more and more! I promise!
Now if he doesn’t treat you so well, or if he’s a crashing bore, then yes, you may start thinking about Boy #1 again. But as long as he’s good, I believe you’ll start to feel he’s actually great – very soon!
Best of Luck! Let me know what happens!