Category Archives for "Teens"

0 How to help teenagers get enough sleep

Judesaleh asks: Is it ok for my 12-year-old daughter to sleep over at my mum’s just because she doesn’t want anyone to tell her when to sleep and she likes to stay up sooo late? I can’t have any privacy when she is around. Knowing that my mum lives alone, and this is only during the summer vacation, what can I do to make her sleep earlier?

Hi Judesaleh –

Thanks for writing me.  I’m a bit confused by your question, though.  It sounds like you’re asking if it’s okay for your 12-year-old to sleep at your mother’s home (If it’s a safe place and they both enjoy it, then I’d say absolutely!  Grandparents are one of my favorite things, and I think there’s nothing better for a kid than to spend time getting to know them).  But it also sounds like you’re asking how to get your 12-year-old to go to bed earlier when she’s staying with you.

That’s a very common and difficult problem.  When children are young, most of them are “early folk,” going to bed early and then waking up well before their parents are ready to get out of bed, eager to greet the new day.  But when kids hit the beginnings of Continue reading

0 How to stop sibling rivalry when they’re ages apart.

spikie asks: how do I get my 16-year-old daughter to be more loving to her 10-year-old brother?

Hi Spikie –

Of course sibling rivalry is as old as brains!  I fought with my litter-siblings, Cain fought with Abel, JR fought with Bobby… oh it just goes on and on!  I will say, though, that usually when siblings are of different genders, and especially when they’re more than a few years apart in age, the rivalry is usually finished by the time they’re your kids’ ages.  So my first thought is…  give them a Continue reading

0 How to get over someone you broke up with

Kimy asks: I broke up with my first boyfriend but now I just cannot get him out of my mind. What should I do?

Hi Kimy –

I’m so sorry.  I know, it’s very very hard to move on after a breakup.  The people you loved so just get into your mind and heart, and even though you’ve chosen to not be with them, they haunt you like a ghost.

A lot of people have very specific advice:  Date other guys, or Avoid all guys, or Take a vacation, or Dye your hair a new color…  I can’t tell you that any of these are right or wrong.  The fact is, you just have to get through this time.

What you’re experiencing is actually the Continue reading

0 What to do when you see evidence your boyfriend might be cheating.

Lilies asks: I am in a relationship with a guy and I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, but recently I saw a post on Facebook — a girl said she is in relationship with him! I ask him about it and he said the girl is his cousin. I asked the girl too; she just said the guy never mentioned my name before in any of their chats. I don’t want to lose him. What do I do?!

Hi Lilies –

Hmmm…  You know that feeling you get sometimes when you go out at night for a walk and to pee on a bush somewhere, and nothing is clearly wrong but you just get that feeling?  Your ears pick up, the fur on your back rises slightly, and you just don’t want to step forward because there’s just something that’s off?  (Well, it’s probably a little different for you humans, but that’s what it’s like for Continue reading

0 How can churches appeal to teenagers?

Blessing asks: What are some of the things the church does that teenagers like.

Hi Blessing –

What an interesting question to ask a dog!  I do know a few churches that do “animal blessings days,” but otherwise we usually aren’t allowed in those gorgeous buildings!  (Though from outside, I can see that so many of the stained-glass windows have pictures of the great figures of that religion’s history tending sheep, caring for other animals, etc… Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?!).

My simple answer to you is that teenagers like what they like, and don’t like what they don’t like.  I’ve got loads and loads of questions and answers on this site about those issues, and they don’t even scratch the surface of teenage complexity.  The history of religion is so deep and enormous that I promise you, churches have done everything that teenagers like and dislike, over the last few Continue reading

0 What are fun things for teenagers to do on vacation dates?

YJaan asks: Its actually the school holidays (3 weeks) and my boyfriend and I have decided to meet in a few days. I want to make this meeting sweet, enjoyable and memorable. What do you suggest we do? Help me please…

Hi YJaan –

Well this feels like an excellent sequel to your last question.  Thanks for asking it!  I suggested that you take your time and enjoy your relationship, and now you’re asking for some suggestions of what you can do.  Okay, here goes:

1)    Movies!  I can’t go to a movie theater, but people sure seem to love them, and it’s a great place for couples, since they can hang out together and actually learn a lot about what each other likes.  Go to a thriller, a comedy, a love story, a fantasy… and see who this is you’re with!

2)    Hiking – Is there somewhere near you where the two of you can go for a long walk in nature?  People often have really great Continue reading

0 Do good students always “fall off” as they near the end of high school?

pia asks: Hi, I have just completed my 10th, with a very good percentage. Many people have told me that students who score well in 10th usually tend to get low in 12th and fall in bad ways. I have lost all my confidence and motivation! I hope you understand my problem.

Oh what a bunch of poops!  I’m a big fan of telling the full truth, but this is a perfect example of what happens when people talk NEGATIVE all the time!  Look at you, Pia!  You are an excellent student, and clearly have a really good attitude.  Now do some students fall off at the end of their high school years (especially if they’ve already been accepted to a college or university)?  Absolutely.  But do you have to?  Of course not!

And look at what these naysayers have done to you!  You say that you’ve “lost all confidence and motivation.”  Yucch!  I hate Continue reading

0 What do do when you hear you’re being two-timed

Lilies asks: I am in a relationship with a guy, and I love him so much, and I know he loves me too. But recently I saw a post on Facebook: a girl said she is in a relationship with him! I asked him about it, and he said the girl is his cousin. I then asked the girl too, and she just said the guy never mentioned my name before in any of their chats! I don’t want to lose him, so what do i do?

Hi Lilies –

Hmmm…  You know that feeling you get sometimes when you go out at
night for a walk and to pee on a bush somewhere, and nothing is
clearly wrong but you just get that feeling?  Your ears pick up, the
fur on your back rises slightly, and you just don’t want to step
forward because there’s just something that’s off?  (Well, it’s
probably a little different for you humans, but that’s what it’s like
for me)  Your letter makes me feel the same way, Lilies. What was it
that Continue reading

0 How to learn about the best colleges and universities

Cat asks: Hi, I’ve just finished high school with a total of 98.5 %, thanks God, and I am really confused about choosing the college that is suitable for me. I can’t choose between being a doctor or a dentist, with respect to the importance of the materialistic side of the job, but I really wish I could find some advice about this stuff with a report about colleges that includes the fields of study & jobs of each. Thanks a million.

Wow, Cat!  I’m always putting cats down and insulting their intelligence, but you sure provide an exception to that rule!  Well-done!!

I live in the United States, and here there are tons of books that come out every year, comparing and contrasting all sorts of colleges and universities, and rating them on lots of scales.  I don’t know where you live, but I would suggest doing a web-search for a similar sort of list.  “Comparative Listing of Medical Schools in New Guinea” or “Best Universities in Eastern Europe” or “Most Successful Dental Schools in Iran…” whatever’s appropriate for Continue reading

0 Should I date someone who admits cheating before

YJaan asks: Hi! I’m 16 and I’ve a boyfriend (soon 18 years old) in the same school as mine. At first we were just friends. When we started dating each other, he told me everything about his past, ex-girlfriends (including that he used to cheat on most of them), etc. As time passed (one month) he told me that he’s really in love with me (so am I with him, and we also talk about our future together, like when we’ll marry). Now we’ve been together 10 weeks, but still that question comes into my mind: ‘Is he cheating on me??’ Now he also told me that he’s the type of guy who is very jovial and cheerful with girls. I don’t like that behavior of his but I think I’m getting to be used to it! My heart tells me ‘no, he’s not cheating me, he really loves me’ but my mind examines the question and says ‘yes he is indeed in love with me but I should not dare forget that he can cheat me like he used to do with some of the others!’ What should I do, because I actually really love him?

Hi YJaan –

There are a lot of questions posted on this site about people being afraid of being cheated on, and I recommend you check those out.  (Just put “cheat” in the Search box and a bunch should show up; for more, put in “trust”).

But you bring up some other issues I’d love to address.

First, you are 16 years old.  And you’ve been dating this guy for 10 weeks.  You are in no position to make ANY major decision about your life with this fellow.  This is the time to enjoy each other’s company, get to know each other, go out and do fun things together, and not do ANYTHING that’s going to affect your future.  I know it feels like he’s The One, and maybe he is, but you aren’t going to know that for a very long time.  Here’s my thought: on your 21^st birthday, if you’re still together and he hasn’t cheated on you at all, you have every reason to Continue reading