Category Archives for "Relationships"

2 What to do when you and your best friend are attracted to the same person

Football asks: I really like this person and my best mate likes them too. What should I do – ask them out or leave it?

Hi Football –

Oh man does this question go back centuries!  What a horrible situation to be in!  But of course, it makes sense – why wouldn’t you and your best mate be drawn to the same sorts?

I can’t give you a definite answer on what to do, but a few ideas strike me.  If one of these sounds good to you, you might want to try it:

1)    Go out to dinner with that best mate of yours, and talk about it.   Is one of you more interested in that person than the other is?  Is one of you also interested in Continue reading

0 When should people marry?

jillu asks: When will I get married?

Hi jillu –

Well of course I’m just a dog, not a psychic, so I can’t give you any great knowledge about what day, month, or year you’ll get married.

But I can talk about when you should get married, and when you shouldn’t.

We hear every day about fights, separations, and divorces, that come from couples marrying when they weren’t quite ready.  So often young people are in a huge rush to get married, and my advice is to Hold Continue reading

0 Is the love of a teenager easily gone?

Jann asks: Hi. Is the love of a teenager easily gone?

Hi Jann –

What an amazing question!  I think it’s profound, actually.  The bad news is that I can’t offer you a simple answer!

The teenage years are a period of turbulent changes and passions.  Between the chemical changes occurring in the body and mind, and the giant changes going on in a teen’s life, the entire world is in flux.  I feel like you could equally ask “Is love during wartime easily gone” or “Is love easily gone during an earthquake!”

So you really have two opposing forces in effect here.  First, the incredible rate of change can mean that what a teenager feels one day may be totally different a week Continue reading

3 Is there something wrong with not having been kissed?

princess23 asks: I’m 15 years old and never been kissed. Is there something wrong with me? I’m the only girl in my class who hasn’t kissed a guy and it’s kinda embarrassing. HELP ME!!

Oh Princess23!

Thanks for your question about not having been kissed yet.

You see, this is why I find humans so silly!  By the time I was a few days old, I’d been kissed, slobbered on, and bitten by so many other puppies I couldn’t begin to count them!  And that doesn’t mention how many I’D kissed, slobbered on, and bitten!  Now here you are, a 15-year-old princess, and haven’t been kissed at all?!  It sounds like a fairy tale!

And of course, in truth, it is!  All people’s love lives are fairy Continue reading

1 When is it okay to kiss your boyfriend?

Tizolina asks: Hi, I am 14 years old and I kissed my boyfriend. Is that bad?

Hi Tizolina –

Wow, I kissed my first boyfriend when I was probably about four days old!  And I’ve been kissing boyfriends, girlfriends, my mom, strangers, teachers, scary dogs, and most of all, my best friend Handsome, ever since.  I can’t imagine going through a day without lots and lots of kissing!  What would life be without that?!

But of course, doggy kisses are treated very differently in our world than the kisses of a 14-year-old to a boyfriend.  Some people don’t like being kissed by dogs because they find us dirty or sloppy (total idiots if you ask me!), but our kisses are never controversial in the way yours can be.

This is because, when it comes to teenage romance, there are so many different values that different people Continue reading

0 How can an advice-giver get advice?

puppy12 asks: This is really hard for me because I’m usually the one to give advice to everyone I know, but I would really like to know how to be complacent about myself with life? It seems like everything just hurts. Why is it so easy for me to give advice to people, but so hard to give myself advice? I just want someone to give me advice for once, and be on the receiving side of attention.

Hi puppy12 –

Thanks for your question about how to get better at taking your own advice.

Well I sure know how that feels!  I love the feeling I get from giving advice here.  Then when I’m done being the know-it-all on the computer, I go back into my regular life where I have the same problems I always have (how to keep from getting sad when I’m left alone, how to go grocery shopping without anyone noticing I’m a dog, and how to climb trees and really get those squirrels out of here!). I guess it’s always that way with puppies like Continue reading

0 Should we follow our heart or our head?

cute couple asks: If a girl like me loves a boy that… I’m not sure if he loves me but he always says, “I love you” when we talk… my mind tells me to love him, but my heart says no. What shall I follow my mind or my heart?

Hi cute couple –

This is one of the oldest questions known to humankind!  Head or Heart?  Oh and there are so many great songs about it:

Fools rush in

Where wise men never go

But wise men never fall in love

So how are they to know

And

Well you couldn’t say ‘no’ tonight

If I keep my heart out of sight

And

Heart of mine

Be still

You can play with fire

But you’ll get the Continue reading

2 How to handle a parentified sibling

fk asks: I am a 16-year-old girl. My sister whom I live with found me with my boyfriend. I wasn’t doing anything wrong with him, but ever since, I think she hates me. She scolds me whenever I ask for permission to go out. I apologized, but she couldn’t accept my apologies. What am I to do?

Hi fk –

I guess I’m a little confused.  What was your sister mad about?  Did she not know you had a boyfriend?  Or is it that you don’t think you were doing anything wrong, but she did?

Either way, the odds are that she doesn’t hate you.  It sounds from your letter like your sister is trying to act as your Continue reading

0 Should you be friends with someone who “only wants to be friends”

Nicnak asks: Dear Shirelle, There is this boy that I like, and he is a year older than me. We have been talking a lot, and he found out I liked him. He said he likes me in a way, but doesn’t want to date a person a year younger than him. Do you think I should just be friends with him?

Hi Nicnak –

Thanks for your question.  You’re actually in a kind of funny situation, because normally boys like to date girls a year or so younger than them.  It actually makes a lot of sense, as girls mature earlier than boys, so very often a girl of, say, 15 is a better match for a boy of 16 than of a boy her own age!

But given what he’s told you, I think you’re asking the wrong question.  It’s not “should” you be just friends with him, as much as it’s Continue reading

0 How parents can help teenagers grow socially safely.

Smith2 asks: Hi. We immigrated to Australia 3 years ago. My daughter is 14 years old, very shy, and has only managed to make a few friends in this time, whom she holds on to dearly. She does not socialize with anyone else but these friends. She chats to her friends on Facebook only, but last night we found out she was chatting to a strange boy, younger than her. How do we explain and show her the dangers of this without causing her to rebel?

Hi Smith2 –

Thanks for your really interesting letter.  It hits me that you’re really asking about three things, all separate issues though they overlap.  Let me go through them individually though.

First, congratulations on your immigration.  I know that it’s very hard to immigrate to Australia (and extremely hard for us dogs, since they have very strict quarantine policies, to protect their wonderful wildlife).  But of course, this great adventure, that will give your daughter emotional and intellectual gifts for the rest of her life, also has a cost, and you’re seeing it now.

Moving is always tough on kids.  And moving to a new country is especially difficult.  She walks into a new classroom full of kids who not only have a different life experience, but have different accents, different educations, maybe even a different language.  And if she was shy before, of course this will only exacerbate her problem.

Now in the long run, there’s a really good chance that the opposite will happen.  Her exoticism will make her more popular, and she will learn social skills that will enable her to feel comfortable in any Continue reading