Category Archives for "Relationships"

0 Should one be in a relationship with someone who plans to end it soon?

Pallas asks: A friend of mine is in a relationship but lately her boyfriend seems to be avoiding her. She talked to him once and asked him if he still loved her. He said that he only loves her 30% and that he’ll break up with her on their first anniversary because he doesn’t want to hurt her anymore. But she doesn’t mind getting hurt because of their relationship. She has always loved him so much even if he wasn’t giving her any freedom. I really want to help those two, but I’m not really good when it comes to solving relationship problems. Please help me, Shirelle.

Hi Pallas –

Well it’s very fitting that you’re the one who’s trying to have the clear view here.  For those readers who don’t know, Pallas is another name for Athena, the Greek goddess of Wisdom.  And it seems like Pallas is being very Athena-like in this relationship!  (Does that make me the Oracle of Delphi?  I have to say, I am the luckiest dog in the world!).

Okay, so here’s my wisdom:  What in the world is Continue reading

0 What to do when friends are jealous of your success

Serena asks: In school my friends always try to avoid me because I’m better than them in studies and everything. What should I do?

Hi Serena –

Before I answer your question, I want to ask you one:  Are you sure that that’s why your friends are behaving this way?  If so, they’re being extremely petty.  So you might want to see if there’s a way to find out if something else could be going on – if they’re avoiding you for something you didn’t even realize you’d said, or because they’ve decided you’re not wearing the cool brand of shoes or something!

But if you’re right – this is ridiculous!  Your friends are acting out of meanness and jealousy.  And my advice to you is simple:  Keep doing what you’re doing in your classes, and find better Continue reading

1 How to let someone who’s attracted to you down easy

Herbert13 asks: I am 13 and I have had lots of boyfriends but this time I don’t know what to do! There is this boy at school that I find really annoying and today he asked me out. At first I thought he was joking but then when I properly looked at him I saw that he wasn’t. I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t have feelings for him, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I tried asking my friends but they just joke about it. What should I do? Please help.

Hi Herbert13 –

The simple job you’re after is to Let Him Down Easy.  It’s a common problem, and one that’s been around forever.

There are a lot of ways to do this, and most are just awful!  Telling him you want to be friends (when you don’t) just sets him up for more disappointment.  Trying to avoid the topic and wait for him to move on will leave him hanging in pain.  Harshly rejecting him will make him feel ashamed for having dared to Continue reading

1 How to find out if the boy you like likes you

ashee asks: I’m 14 years old and there’s this guy who I fell in love with, but I don’t know if he feels the same way about me. What should I do to find out?

Hi Ashee –

This is absolutely the most frequent question I get asked.  And I totally relate.  You see, when I was a puppy, I was caught by some dog catchers and placed in a pound.  And I was smart and observant enough to see that once a dog had been in that pound for a number of days, it got taken into a room at the end of the hallway and never came back.  Whereas other dogs got taken out the front door by really happy people who clearly just adored them.  So that’s what I wanted!

Day after day would pass, and occasionally, a person would look into my cage.  Well, I should say “our” cage, since I was in there with four other puppies.  And the people would point and laugh and pet us and let us lick and chew on their hands… and sometimes they’d take one of us out.  But not me.

It was hard to be there.  It was the scariest time of my life.  And while it felt bad when no one was paying attention to us, it could even feel worse when someone did pay attention, but then walked away (whether with another dog or none).  And the reason that felt so bad is because I’d gotten my hopes up.  I’d believed that this person was The One, my human who would take me out of that cage, and out of that pound, and into a new life full of love and play and petting and good food and freedom and… I didn’t even know all what!  So when they’d walk away, my heart would just Continue reading

0 How to treat someone in a bad mood

ASERI asks: How should I treat my boyfriend when he’s in a bad mood?

Hi Aseri –

Like all dogs, I am extremely sensitive to the moods of those I’m close to.  I’ll sense that someone I love is sad, and put my head in their lap, or pick up that someone is tense, and avoid them.  So I understand your wish to treat your boyfriend in the right way when he’s in a bad mood.

What I don’t know, though, is what sort of bad mood you mean.  Is he feeling sad, depressed, hopeless, tense, frustrated, angry, or something else?

Regardless, of course the first thing I’ll say to you is to make sure you stay Continue reading

1 Should girlfriends not talk with other boys?

MycahBaby asks: My boyfriend gets mad when I talk to other guys, but he talks to other girls. What should I do?

Hi MycahBaby –

What you’re dealing with is that you’re expecting your relationship to be fair, when he’s operating from what’s called a “Double Standard.”  In his mind, there’s nothing wrong with him talking to other girls, but you talking to other boys is a horrible insult.  You have three basic choices:  You can accept him the way he is and live by his rules, you can change his mind, or you can Continue reading

0 Why do guys mess with girls’ heads?

secrets and lies asks: Why do guys always mess with girls’ heads?

Hi secrets and lies –

This is a very funny question!  Because 45% of the world thinks guys are always messing with girls’ heads, another 45% think girls are always messing with guys’ heads, and the other 10% are guys and girls whose heads are getting messed with by their own Continue reading

0 What to do when your friends hang out without you

inez3 asks: All of my friends have gone to one of my best friend’s sleepover and they didn’t invite me – but they never do any way. And I’m really upset.

Hi inez3 –

I don’t know if there’s a worse feeling in the world than being left out by those you love.  Children hate being left at home when their parents go out, and, wow, if you’ve ever had a puppy, you know how nutty we get when we’re shut away from the family, even for a few minutes!

Then you add to that that humans have different interests at different times, and between the ages of about 10 and 21, they really care more about their peers and how their peers see them than anything else.  So I’ll just bet you’re feeling awful about this!  And I relate!  I still hate it whenever Handsome leaves me alone at all, and even worse when he’s with other people.  And when he comes home smelling of dogs he played with, it just drives me Continue reading

0 When should you loan friends money?

Coolb asks: A guy approached me through a common friend. He had my mob no (I don’t know how – I hardly know him). He kinda likes me – but frankly I think he’s after my money (he also asked for some financial help). We had some general talks for a while. What do you think I should do?

Hi Coolb –

There’s a very famous line from Shakespeare, advice a father gives to a son as he leaves home: “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.”  Now I believe in generosity and helping out everyone one can, but I also believe in being careful.

There’s a lot in this scenario that makes my nose twitch.  He had your phone number without your giving it to him, and then he’s asking you for money?  It sounds to me like he used your friend to get close to you, at least in part for that money.  Now he might be absolutely interested in you for yourself, too, but even if so…

Let’s look at the two possibilities.  First, he’s not really into you, and he’s just after your Continue reading

0 What to do when your best friend likes someone you hate

princess23 asks: Why do I get jealous of my guy best friend talking to the girl I hate with all my guts? Is this something I should worry about? Even though he always says he won’t ever change me for someone else, I still think that maybe she has something better. I really don’t want to lose him!

Hi princess23 –

Jealousy is about as normal an emotion as there is, and it’s not confined to you humans!  Believe me, I get livid when Handsome is petting another dog in front of me.  It’s not exactly that I’m worried, though – I just don’t like seeing it!

But having said that, the truth is that jealousy is also one of the most useless emotions we have!  And there is a big difference between saying “Hand off – he’s mine!” and worrying yourself sick about whether your friend or love is going to Continue reading