Alondra asks: What should I do when my parents are assuming I have a boyfriend?
Hi Alondra –
Do I have this straight? Your parents are assuming you have a boyfriend, but you don’t?
If so, then my absolute advice is to give them a major reality check! You don’t have to be quite this rude, but I’m thinking of something along the lines of “Hello?! Do you see me with a Continue reading
Shellyx asks: Today in science we had to heat up magnesium under a Bunsen burner. Me and my friend were working in a pair, and I went first. I hadn’t seen anyone else do it, so I was worried. Anyways I put it on the Bunsen burner, holding it with tongs, and it caught fire, with a white flame. I started screaming, “OMG! aghhhh someone blow it out quick, help! Is it meant to do this?!” Everyone (including my crush) was staring at me. The flame went out and my teacher came over, saying, “yes it’s meant to go like that.” My friend was in hysterics. I was so scared, since I’m already petrified of fire! It’s sooo embarrassing! What do I do?
Hi Shellyx –
Oh Wow! Oh that must have been AWFUL!!! I can just bet you were as embarrassed as anyone ever has been!!
But I don’t think this is a bad thing at all. In fact, I think it’s kind of great.
Why? Two reasons:
First, Embarrassment is simply a very mild version of a much harsher thing called Continue reading
Tutu asks: What are the barriers on communication between parents and adolescents, about sexuality?
Hi Tutu –
You bring up a great issue. It is a strange irony in human development, that the age when children begin to pull away from their parents is the same age when they become more sexual, in their body development as well as their minds.
It would certainly make things easier for parents if this were staggered a bit. For example, if kids went through their years of detachment from their parents before their bodies changed and they became interested in sexuality, so that by that time they were mature enough to have adult Continue reading
apsara asks: What is love?
Hi aspara –
Wow, how many songs have asked that question!
The word “Love” has an awful lot of meanings. But to answer you, I really think we should stick to three.
The first is about the most basic attraction. If you ever study physics, you’ll learn that all energy is about attraction and repulsion. Particles are either drawn to each other or push away from each other. Think of what happens if you put two magnets together, and how they’ll do one or the other. Well I think that same energy exists at all levels of Continue reading
prettyndsweet12 asks: I have a friend who annoys me by giving me advice all the time. Also, she does this to all my other friends and they think she’s being annoying too, but they don’t want to hurt her feelings, and I don’t either. I’ve put up with it for a while, and I can’t anymore. So if I say something, and she tells all of our other friends, and they think I’m being the bad guy, how do I deal with it?
Hi prettyndsweet12 –
I do have an answer, but it’s pretty difficult. Given that your other mutual friends feel the same way you do about your best friend’s advice-giving, my recommendation is something called an Intervention.
Interventions are usually done for gigantic problems, like alcoholism! For example, let’s say you had a friend who was drinking lots, all the time. And he never did anything to try to help himself about it, and in fact didn’t think he had a problem at all. Well, you and his other friends could organize an Intervention, where you all show up at his home, explain to him that you’re all really worried about him and that he does have a problem, and take him to a rehab facility. It might be the greatest thing you and your friends ever do, and could well save his Continue reading
zubi asks: How should we respond to an opinion we don’t agree with?
Hi zubi –
There are two very silly things about your question. The first is that the answer is so clear… and the second is that SO MANY HUMANS don’t know how to do it! If you’ve grown up watching politicians on TV, it sure makes sense to me that you haven’t learned this simple skill. And that’s a shame. A shame on them, not on you. You’re the person who’s humble and honest and open enough to ask. (I’d vote for you for anything!)
The simple answer is Respect. What makes people upset when others disagree with them is that they’re not getting shown respect in the disagreement.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say Handsome and I are walking, and I pass a tree that lots of dogs have peed on, and I think it’s the most interesting, great-smelling thing ever. And so I try to stop and Continue reading
Nicole1234yak asks: I think I may be bisexual. I am attracted to both boys and girls, but for now I’m more attracted to girls. I’m checking girls out just the way I check out boys. Also I get turned on by girls as I get turned on by boys – even more so lately. But I don’t know if I’m bisexual for sure. How can I be sure? By the way, I’m15.
Hi Nicole1234yak –
I am a dog. I have no concerns about who is “normal” and who should be attracted to what sort of person. I only care about my Pack Members being happy. And it’s clear that you’re pretty confused and frightened right now.
Studies say that somewhere between 2 and 5% of people identify themselves as bisexual, and many more women experiment with bisexuality (and we can guess that at least that many feel it but don’t admit it).
You ask how you can be sure. I would say to give it Continue reading
NARDY asks: My best friend is sad because her father died. She is always upset and when I speak to my other friends she always asks me to stay with her. I’m trying to make her happy, but I can’t. What can I do?
Hi NARDY –
My friend, you’re dealing with one of the toughest issues there is. Actually you’re dealing with two.
Grief is always difficult, and everybody has to go through it. There are small griefs (like when an ice cream cone falls on the ground before you can eat it), and really painful ones (like when someone you’re dating breaks up with you), and then there are those griefs that are so awful they change your entire way of living and seeing the Continue reading
brena asks: I am having problems with my boyfriend. He keeps lying to me and he blames me for everything that happens in our relationship. He does not pay me as much attention as he did once and he thinks he is always right, never admitting that he is wrong. He hardly calls or texts me; instead he texts his friends and that bothers me. Whenever anything goes wrong in his life, he tells his friends first before telling me, and that hurts. I talked to him about it and it seems as if he does not care. He also shouts at me at times. I really do love him but I am sick of it and I don’t know what to do. Please help me. I really want this to work out.
Hi brena –
Now I don’t give a lot of advice like this. As you know, I tend to be a big romantic. But if we go over what you’ve told me, your boyfriend:
1) blames you for everything in the relationship
2) isn’t paying much attention to you
3) feels he’s always right and never admits being wrong
4) hardly ever calls or texts you (but does text his other friends)
5) talks to his friends before you
6) doesn’t seem to care when you tell him your feelings
7) and shouts at you.
Now of course, no one’s perfect, and relationships are hard. But I have to say, brena, this guy sounds to me like a big bunch of Continue reading
prettyndweet12 asks: Lately I feel like my friend is acting more like my mom than my friend. Every time I say I miss my crush, or that I like another boy, she’s always giving me lectures on how I need to enjoy my summer and stop thinking about boys all the time and just chill. I understand if she’s saying it once just for friendly advice, but its almost everything I say that seems wrong to her, and its gotten to the point where I’m afraid to say things to her because she’s so judgmental! How do I let her know to stop without being mean or wrecking our friendship?
Hi prettyndsweet12 –
I’ll give you an answer, but first I can’t resist asking a question: Why is it that your friend doesn’t worry about whether she’s being mean or wrecking your friendship?! Endless bossing is really annoying!!
Anyway, what you’re really asking is how to handle this issue without hurting her.
One mistake I see humans do all the time is to worry too much about hurting the other person’s feelings, to the degree that they hurt them even more. For example, Handsome was once dating a woman, and it wasn’t going well. He really wanted to split up. But he knew it would hurt her feelings a lot if he did. So he thought it would be really smart if he proved to her that she was important to him, and that even if they broke up he’d still care about her. So he took her out to a great dinner, a fun concert, fun stuff afterwards… and then he broke up with her. And did she say “Oh thank you Handsome, that took all the hurt away?” Not a Continue reading