What a teenager should do if they think they’re bisexual

Nicole1234yak asks: I think I may be bisexual. I am attracted to both boys and girls, but for now I’m more attracted to girls. I’m checking girls out just the way I check out boys. Also I get turned on by girls as I get turned on by boys – even more so lately. But I don’t know if I’m bisexual for sure. How can I be sure? By the way, I’m15.

Hi Nicole1234yak –


I am a dog.  I have no concerns about who is “normal” and who should be attracted to what sort of person.  I only care about my Pack Members being happy.  And it’s clear that you’re pretty confused and frightened right now.

Studies say that somewhere between 2 and 5% of people identify themselves as bisexual, and many more women experiment with bisexuality (and we can guess that at least that many feel it but don’t admit it).

You ask how you can be sure.  I would say to give it time.

The only real mistake you could make at this young age is to do anything that would hurt your reputation, or worse, your actual safety.  At this age, your hormones are going wild, and it makes total sense to me that you’re feeling attractions right and left.

So what if you… just let them?  What if you said “Okay, this morning I was attracted to that boy and that girl and those girls and that teacher and…” and left it at that?

Meanwhile, hang out with the people you want to hang out with.  Maybe you’ll have some experiences along the way that make you more aware of yourself.  Someone hugs you, and you really like that hug, more than usual!  You develop a really strong crush on someone.  A girl or a boy kisses you in fun, and it really affects you.

It’s hard to talk about this without a certain Katy Perry song going through my head.  Now Katy sang that she kissed a girl and she liked it… but then she clearly has been a heterosexual overall in her life.  By the same token, maybe you might kiss a boy and like that, but find that you find you prefer girls to boys, and pursue that.

I give the same advice to teens of all sexual orientations – just let things take some time.  Teens are in such hurries!  If you just worry a bit less about what you are, and concentrate more on who you like to be with, and, again, keep yourself safe, I think you’ll find that the answers come to you over time.

Meanwhile, as you know very well, I like jumping up on EVERYBODY and licking their faces clean!  I don’t know if that makes me bisexual.  Bi-crazy I guess!


Good Luck,



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