Category Archives for "Questions"

0 Why a young child won’t eat

Shahriar asks: My child is not taking food, even when I insist. She is now three years old. I’m very hopeless. What can I do?

Hi Shahriar –

There are lots of possible reasons for a three-year-old not wanting to eat.  Some of them are emotional (she’s feeling sad, or excited), some are just defiant (she doesn’t want to do anything you want her to, including eating), and some are physiological (she may have stomach pain, or really bad allergies to some foods).

Of course, the first thing you need to do is to rule out the physiological ones.  And there’s no good way to do this except to take her to a doctor who can check her out.  Any qualified pediatrician will know exactly what to test to find out if there’s anything wrong with her.  And of course they would be the best people to suggest what to do if they do find something wrong.

If they determine that she’s not suffering from a physical problem, then your job is to find out why she’s refusing the food.  Again, it could well be that she’s just being defiant (what we normally hear called “the terrible Continue reading

0 How to meet a celebrity

Aqua asks: I want to meet Taylor Swift, but I live far from her. What should I do?

Hi Aqua –

Wow, I’d love to meet her too!  She’s one of the few humans I’ve ever seen who’s even thinner than me!   And I’ve always loved music, all sorts, so she’s my kind of human.

Now with lots of celebrities, like movie stars, it’s virtually impossible to have any access to them.  But pop singers like Taylor Swift have a different situation.  They tour, all the time.  No matter how many recordings they sell, or how often they’re on TV, they still depend a lot on making personal appearances, and having contact with their public.

So the odds are very good that, no matter where you live, Taylor will be fairly near you at some time.  The tough part is that you don’t just want to see her singing “Love Story” and “Speak Continue reading

0 What is childhood Depression like?

Mama asks: My son is 11 yrs old. Since he was young, he easily gets angry from any thing. He can beat his friends for teasing him, he answers his teachers badly, and it’s never easy to calm him down. I’ve tried to talk to him, punish him, and do anything to stop it. When he calms down from his anger attacks, he either starts to wonder why he did it or tries to lie about what happened and say he was not the cause of the problem. Help me please.

Hi Mama –

I have a lot of thoughts about what might be going on, but they all lead to the same place.  Your son has a definite anger problem, which is beyond what’s normal for his age.  I really would urge you to find a good therapist who specializes in kids, as it sounds like there’s something really bothering your son, and the sooner it gets resolved, the happier he will be.

Having said that, my sense is that your son is probably a bit depressed.  We all know what depression looks like in adults – melancholy moods, hopelessness, lack of energy – but it’s almost the exact opposite in kids and early Continue reading

1 How to talk to your parents about something that happened

Astrid asks: How do you talk to you parents about stuff that happens. Like stuff that happens online and at school. Maybe stuff that kind of scares you?

Hi Astrid –

Your question is a little bit tough to answer, because I don’t know exactly what “scary stuff” you’re referring to.  And of course I don’t know you or your parents at all.  But it really comes down to a gigantic question: Who Do You Trust?

I’m very glad (and honored) that you trusted me enough to ask me about this.  But you definitely need to find someone in your own world who you can absolutely trust, to share these things with.  Most often, parents are the best choice.  But if your parents aren’t people you can trust with this information, you might want to talk to a teacher or administrator at school, a member of the clergy, or even a therapist or counselor who can help you.

Remember, stuff happens to everybody.  Every person (and dog) in the world has experienced being in a horrible position due to something they’ve Continue reading

0 Who is Shirelle and what’s the Pack?

123456 asks: Hi. My name is Pius; I just joined the pack today. I just want to ask what your name and are you the pack leader

Hi Pius –

Thanks so much for joining the pack!  My name is Shirelle.  I’m a dog who loves nothing more than to help kids, teens, and parents make their lives happier.  So I started this website to help anyone who wants me to.

Although I guess I am the leader of the Pack, I feel more like a Continue reading

1 How to deal with sibling rivalry

Toota asks: I have a 3-year-old daughter and she is very intelligent. Now I have a new baby and my older daughter is very angry with me, she tells me “I do not love you,” she hits her little sister. Is this depression? What shall I do?

Hi Toota –

Congratulations on your new baby!  I wish I could walk right up and sniff your whole family!!

Okay, I have good news and bad news for you.  Good news first – your daughter’s behavior doesn’t show Depression, or any other abnormality.  In fact, if she weren’t acting this way, I’d worry a bit.  She is showing a healthy, normal attitude, which I’m sure will, one day, turn into a beautiful relationship with her sister.

Then the bad news:  That day won’t come soon!  For three years, your daughter was the center of the universe.  You put all your attention onto her, she delighted you with her brightness, and everything was fantastic.  Then you hit her with the greatest insult she will ever receive in her life:  You had another Continue reading

0 How to get a parent to be more parental

Werewolves asks: Hi Shirelle. My mother is a very sweet person, almost like my sister, and I can tell her anything (including my crushes). But now I have lost my respect towards her as my mother, because I treat her like my sister, and so we fight for small, silly reasons, and I feel really bad when she cries because of it. I also have tried to tell her that if she acts like my mom, I will treat her like one. I really don’t know what to do. HELP ME!!!!

Hi Werewolves –

What a fascinating problem you have!  This takes a lot of thought!

It would be easier for me to give advice to your mother on this issue, but since it’s you who’s writing, I’ll try to throw a few suggestions out.

First, it would be great for you to sit down with her and talk about this.  You should tell her how great it’s been to have a mother who’s such a “best friend,” but that you also need a strong mom these days, one who you can Continue reading

0 How to win back a boy you’ve spurned

Gabrielle asks: I like this guy who has been my classmate since first grade. He just left to move into a new school near mine, and I just started liking him a few months before the last school year ended. I didn’t really give him a good impression, because I hated the fact that everyone kept on teasing me about him liking me for 6 years, and saying that we were secretly a couple, so I hated him and I always got mad at him (this only made me mad because I didn’t want people to think that I had a boyfriend). But know that I like him, and he likes my best friend. He lives on the same street as me. I’m sort of close with his sister, who is my schoolmate. Please help me find out how to get him to like me again. I tried to forget liking him but I can’t. 🙂 HELP!!!

Hi Gabrielle –

I was named after a singing group called The Shirelles, who had a song (with a not very complimentary title) that sort of described your situation.  Some of the words go “You didn’t want him when he wanted you.  He’s found another love, it’s her he’s thinking of, and there’s not a single thing that you can do.”

But I’m going to be more optimistic than that!  You see, it is TOTALLY normal for a girl to be bothered by a boy who is interested in her between the ages of 6 and 12.  Most boys absolutely hate girls when they’re that age, and vice versa!

But now you’re at a point where he’s starting to look Continue reading

1 How to get rid of blackheads

mallory123 asks: How do you get rid of blackheads overnight?

Hi Mallory123 –

Well I have to admit, this question is outside my usual expertise.  Dogs don’t really get blackheads, and even if we did, they’d be covered up by our fur so no one would be bothered by them.

So I’ve done a bit of research on the subject.  And I learned a lot!  For example, I’ve always assumed that blackheads were mainly dirt that had lodged in the pores in people’s faces.  But they’re not.  Most adolescent skin problems stem from the person’s body producing excess Continue reading

0 What does it mean when you start to split off from your friends?

laury98 asks: I hang out with guys now that the girls are being annoying and boring. But now the girls are calling me bad names. What should I do, because those aren’t my intentions; my intentions are to have a conversation with someone who won’t whine like a baby! What should I say to them?

Hi laury98 –

What’s great about where you are is that you’re starting to define the boundaries of your own environment.  I know that sounds awfully big and serious, but…  actually, it is!

You see, when we’re born, we begin to adjust to the world we find ourselves in.  We learn the language, we learn what the people around us like and how to please them, and we learn to get along with those like us.  Then later it’s absolutely essential that we start defining ourselves in ways separate from those others.   That can appear when teenagers start listening to music that their parents can’t Continue reading