Category Archives for "Parenting"

0 How to stay safe on a blind date

Reena asks: I just met a guy on Tinder three weeks back. It was barely two days of chatting and he asked to meet up. I was wary because, though Tinder is a dating app, 95% of the times you will find people there only looking for hook ups. So I decided to take it slow with this guy. Now, initially this guy was quite a Gentleman, showering me with compliments, initiating contact, no mind games, no ego issues, too good to be true I’d say. In a way, exactly what I was looking for. He also told me, ‘we have a connection, there’s a chemistry we have’ he said. But he has also admitted he is quite lonely. Then, in the past two weeks, his questions have been pretty sexual in nature: what I’m wearing, asking me to come home etc. While I am looking for a relationship, he has told me, “Lets just go with the flow.” I know what guys mean when they say this! However, it is also true that while men are just planning the 2nd date, women are planning their wedding. So I am just confused. I don’t know if this guy just wants me sexually or actually likes me. I know I like him, and he’s told me he likes me. I am paying attention to his actions, he chats with me pretty much the whole day. Messages me as soon as he wakes up and I’m the last person he talks to before he sleeps. My question is, should I give it a chance or run away like I usually do when I sense something is off? My brother advised to go on a first date at least and see how things are. If I don’t like him, then there’s no obligation to continue seeing him anymore. What do you suggest?

Hi Reena –

As you know, I am a VERY protective dog.  While I live for fun, my first priority is always the safety of you, my humans.

So while I’m not against internet dating (after all, that’s kind of how we met!), I care a lot about you protecting yourself when it comes to meeting someone from there.

Now I have no reason to trust this guy, or to not trust him.  He might be only interested in ‘one thing,’ as you suggest, or he may be looking for true romance, but trying to talk tough and cool when he writes you.  (It’s like when Handsome’s walking me and we see another dog, I might want to go sniff and play with the pup, but I’ll start barking and acting like I’m vicious just to look cool.)

My thought is kind of like Continue reading

0 What to do if your crush insists on you telling them

Sphumelele asks: I have a really huge crush on this guy, I befriended him and we’ve been hanging out a few times and he’s great company. I told him one day while we were texting that I’m crushing on him and his reply was, “we’ll talk when we get together again,” and that I shouldn’t be a coward by telling him this over the phone. Now my worst fear is that he might tell me he doesn’t feel the same, and it’s something I don’t want to hear looking at him rather a text or a phone call. How do I know he feels the same?

Hi Sphumelele –

Ooooh, do I love crushes!  They’re so much more fun than just friendships or even romances – they’re nothing but magic!  Well, at least until the people actually start to speak.  Then they become more… relationships.  And that’s where you are.

So Sphumelele, I can’t read minds, and I can’t promise what’s going on in this guy’s head.  But I do have a thought:  when someone doesn’t share the same interest someone else has in them, and gets uncomfortable about it, that usually makes them avoid that person.  And certainly avoid the topic.  So when this guy said to you that he wants you to be more brave and tell him face-to-face, that sounds to me like he’s ABSOLUTELY interested!

In fact, the only concern I have is about what he might be interested in!

On one hand, he might feel towards you exactly the way you feel towards him, and so he might want to admit that when you two can… well… do something about it!

And on the other, he might not feel as strongly as you, but he might think it could be a lot of fun to enjoy the effects of your feelings for him.  In other words (to some degree or another) to take advantage of you.

Now that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  If you really want to kiss him, and he would enjoy kissing with you, there’s no real damage done.  But if you’re hoping for a beautiful romance, and he’s thinking of taking things further than you are, and you suddenly find yourself in a difficult situation where you’re saying ‘no’ and he’s saying ‘don’t be such a coward”…  Do you see where I’m going?

So I’m going to recommend two things to you.  First, SURE!  Meet up with him and tell him face-to-face about your crushing!  You know he’ll be happy to hear it, and won’t reject you.

But second, I want you to go to the following page on my website, https://askshirelle.com/2010/06/02/how-should-i-deal-with-it-if-my-date-wants-to-do-more-than-i-do/ , and read that question and my answer.  Because I want you to be happy and strong and the great romantic you are – and not have anything go wrong with it.

Sound good?

Great.  Then GOOD LUCK, and HAPPY CRUSHING!!!

Shirelle

0 How to get your sibling to live a better life

Cupcake11 asks: I’m having a problem again…I feel so helpless.. My brother is only 15 and he is completely detached from my family, I mean my mom and dad. He doesn’t talk to us properly, argues, and makes the other person cry. He gets angry very fast and then throws things here and there. I’m very worried for him because his only goal in life has become to hang out, or to own a bike or a car, or to be in power and bully, or to drive or to chill out with friends and friends who aren’t proper. His friends are all spoiled rich brats who drink, smoke, and bully people. And if someone messes up with them they use their power to torture them.. I feel my brother has a psychological issue. The way he reacts to things is very annoying and very scary at times.. He doesn’t listen to anyone. I went to have a heart to heart conversation with him and he got annoyed and started misbehaving. He doesn’t respect anyone older than him, and, God knows why, he thinks my parents love me more than him, when there’s nothing like that. Since he was kid he’s been stealing stuff and telling lies. My dad used to hit him, and probably that has made him so wild. He met with an accident twice but still he drives rashly. What can I do to get my brother to live a better life, and not a materialistic one?

Hi Cupcake11 –

Wow am I sorry!  This sounds incredibly difficult – for you, for your parents, and yeah, for him too!

My first thought as I began reading was “This is normal.”  Most teens go through some sort of rebellious phase, and 15 is a very normal age for that.  It can come out as just withdrawal from everyone, or as anger, or as this sort of misbehavior.  Sometimes it can be two of those, or all three!  But then you point out that some of this has been true for years – from his stealing and lying to being hit by your father.  And so it hits me – this is likely a deeper problem (in addition to the normal teen stuff).

Of course, lots of the time stealing is done just because someone wants something.  I am too honest a dog to pretend that I haven’t stolen food off of a dining table, or from another dog; I’ve done both quite a few times.  (And if you count eating out of the wastebasket, I’m a career thief!).

But when a kid does it a lot, it usually shows that he’s trying for power.  Same with lying – a little bit of lying to get out of trouble is no big deal, but if a kid does it often, it’s likely a way for him to feel in control more in life.

And when you mix those with what he said to you about you being the more loved one, I’m guessing that feeling has been there all his life.  “Cupcake11 is the favorite, she’s the one they always like, she’s the one they give stuff to.”  Even if they started out treating you both the same.

The problem is, once you start misbehaving out of that feeling, it begins to seem like it’s proving itself!  “See?  I got in trouble and she didn’t.  That proves they like her better!” (even if he’s the only one who broke any rules).

And then, sadly, after a while, that sort of behavior gets everyone to look at him just the way he thinks they do – as the troublemaker, as the “bad kid.”  And then it’s just about impossible for him to break out of this identity.

So you’re right to worry – he’s in a bit of a crisis.  The giant question is Continue reading

0 How to give each of your children enough attention

MamaD asks: I am a mother of 4: 26, 24, 12, and 9. I also to care of my 2 grandbabies and 3 nieces and nephew. Now…my question is HOW DO I GIVE EACH ONE MY ATTENTION when they all want it at the same time!?. They always tattling and arguing with each other! They get me to the point where I bust out in tears!!!!

Hi MamaD –

I have no doubt that you’re right, that they all want your attention.  And that at least some of their misbehavior comes from their trying to get it.

But I have very bad news for you:  You’re only human.  And you’re only ONE human too.

So you can give each one your attention, but not all at once.  No one can.  (If anyone could, it’d be a dog, but even we can’t handle all this at once.  I’d be hiding under the table!)

So here’s my advice.  With your four kids, make a date night.  Let’s say it’s Wednesday.  So every Wednesday you have a dinner (or whatever works) with just one of those kids.  And once you’ve done one with each of them, you start over.  This way they’ll each get something like one night a month of you alone.  Then make another time when you can spend time with just the nieces and nephew – either all together or just some of them, but away from your children and grandchildren.  And then make sure you have time every day alone with each of those grandbabies!

Now to do this, you’ll have to pre-plan a lot.  Who’s going to take care of everyone else while you’re off with the 26-year-old?  Who’s in charge when you’re with the nieces and nephew?

And the rest of the time that you’re with all these kids, you’ll need to make some rules.  Such as that any argument results in BOTH arguers getting sent off alone for ten minutes (or, for the older ones, maybe an hour).  You simply can’t handle all this chaos at once.

But again, that involves pre-planning.  This is what we dogs are TERRIBLE at.  So I can’t tell you exactly how to do it, but it’s the only solution I see!

Best of Luck!

Shirelle

ps: And congratulations!  As much trouble as they must be, how wonderful to have all these kids!!!

0 How to react when it seems like everyone is ignoring or rejecting you

Cupcake11 asks: There’s more to the story I told you before. It all started when my best friend didn’t tell me that she was gonna break up with her boyfriend. She told me when I questioned her, and what hurt me was that she had considered my opinion which I had stated months ago and didn’t even find the need to ask me once about what exactly I meant. Instead she listened to her other best friend who had betrayed her once. It broke my heart to hear that. And then 3 days later, I found out that she patched up with her boyfriend. Her getting influenced by that best friend of hers made me mad, and she tried convincing me – and in the end I did get convinced, thinking that she would give up on me and leave me. Now when things went wrong in my family, when my brother didn’t support me – even when I was right he supported his girlfriend and my uncle has been demotivating me by calling me ugly fat and useless and says I can’t do anything in life – when I got frustrated I thought of reaching out to my best friend, but she was sending one word replies or emoticons (which upset me because I was in a very emotionally vulnerable state) and 2 days later she texted “I’m sick I can’t talk to u over the phone,” and she started asking me questions instead, like if my uncle was seriously saying that and how I should tell my brother to take a stand for me, but she didn’t send a single comforting message. I felt very bad and decided not to tell her anything, and instead just formally talk to her. Please tell me what to do. She is a bit conservative, but whenever she needed me I was always by her side comforting her, and now when I needed her the most she wasn’t there.

Hi Cupcake11 –

Yes, this is TOUGH!  So much at once, all seeming to express the same thing – that you can’t trust at all.

And yes, we ALL have times like that, when the world is just plain weird, and we feel just that alone.  (Well, except for what your uncle said to you.  That bothers me a lot.  I wish I could come over and bite him so hard I rip the seat of his pants out, so you can then say to him “Well it looks like you’re fat and ugly and useless, and it looks like you can’t do anything in life – you can’t even sit down, jerk!”)

But the worst thing about going through these times is that we end up over-sensitized, to where we expect the worst, and see everything in a bad way.

So I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be upset about all these people not being there for you.  But I do want you to try thinking the complete opposite way.

And that might be difficult!

So, for example, what if you thought, “Hmm… my best friend had a good reason to think that her ex-bestie would know more about her problem with her boyfriend than I would, and hoped that talking about him would improve their relationship.”  Might that feel a bit better?  And “My brother is scared that if he doesn’t support his girlfriend she’ll leave him, so he had to put on a show for her, even though he knows I’m right.”  Or “My best friend is so ill she can’t even text full sentences, and doesn’t even have it in her to support me right now.”

Now none of these is going to feel great.  But what they all can do is shift you from seeing each of these situations as being about something negative toward you.

And I’ll throw in myself too.  You wrote me this letter, but then wrote me again when I didn’t get back to you for a day. Normally it can take up to a week for me to respond to letters from pack members, and yesterday was even more odd because Handsome’s phone broke down and everything went crazy around here.  So, truly, my not getting back to you had nothing to do with how much I care about you.

But I’m not saying you were wrong to feel sad about not hearing from me.  Sure, just the way I feel sad when Handsome’s not home (or he’s all frustrated about his busted phone!).

We each want to feel important, and there are times when stuff is going on in so many of the lives of those we love that we feel like we’re always lower priority.  But that doesn’t mean that those people don’t care about us, and love us, and want the best for us.  It’s just that they have other things (like romances and illnesses and busted phones) that they have to pay attention to first.

And of course, you will have times you do the same.  A friend calls you when you’re cramming for an exam, or when you’re at a family event, and you just can’t be there for them in the way you’d most like to.

A big part of loving someone is accepting them completely.  Which includes the parts of them that can’t be there for you.  I have learned to love Handsome when he’s working, when he’s on a date, when he’s watching a movie.  Now I’ll admit, I’m a lot happier with him when he’s playing catch with me or kissing my tummy or throwing treats my way.  But as frustrating as it is, I have learned to love and accept and trust him the rest of the time too.

If there’s a lesson in this rough time for you, it sounds like you’re getting that same lesson right now.  And it’s a good one – you won’t believe how much happier you’ll be once you’ve grasped it!

Big face-licks,

Shirelle

ps: Though I’m still not cool with what your uncle said.  Maybe there’s a way for you to love him still, but I’d have to know more to encourage it.  For now, I’d just work on accepting and loving all the rest of these people.  And maybe avoiding him when you can.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

0 Is it a good idea for a student to take an extra year of school

Ajanardhan asks: I’m looking for advice on my kid’s school admission for coming academic year. To brief in better, she is currently doing PP1 and with a plan to move her to ICSC curriculum I have planned to put her into a particular school. But when I approached the school team, I been informed that UKG admission is not possible, as she is not yet five years old. With no option, and with an interest to put her in ICSC curriculum, I have opted for LKG admission and the seat is confirmed. All I want to be double sure of is that the call I am going to take by making the kid to reappear for PP1/LKG is a good decision or not.

Hi Ajanardhan –

So I have to confess – what I know about specific school systems is that mine offered treats when I got things right, while others give punishments when the pups get things wrong. So I don’t know a lot of the terms you’re using. But I think I get the gist of it, which is that you’d like your child to go into a more advanced year than the schools are allowing, so you’re questioning whether to have her do two years in preparation for the better program.

And my answer is – probably – Continue reading

0 When to start letting a child play by themselves

Manushi asks: My son is 11 months old. Is it ok if I let him play by himself? I mean I am there monitoring him, but I do my work, like household chores or watching TV or mobile, and I only step in if he is about to fall or something. Should I sit by his side when he is playing and play with him, or constantly attend him? My husband always sits with him when he is playing and teaches him stuff like “where’s the fan, where’s the light,” etc. I have a baby sitter for him for sometimes and even she does the same as my husband. I am confused as to what is the right thing to do? To attend him all the time and keep teaching him. or to let him be by himself and have his me time.

Hi Manushi –

As a dog, and especially as a dog who was spayed when I was six months old, I am absolutely unqualified to talk about the details of mothering a human baby.

But I think your question is so specific that NO ONE is really qualified to answer it.

And by that I mean that, on one hand, yes it’s great to give a child independence and let them play by themselves, and yet of course you’d never forgive yourself if something really bad happened to that kid when you weren’t watching.

But the main reason I don’t feel qualified is that I don’t know your son.  Kids develop at enormously different rates; some children are already talking and walking by eleven months, and others won’t get to those for a year.  Some children are very calm and focused, so you could leave one with a toy and assume he’ll play with it for a few minutes, and others are enormously energetic, destructive, and aren’t satisfied until everything in the room has been in their mouth (which completely describes the first two years of my life!).

My best suggestion is to Continue reading

0 What should a teacher do if they develop a crush on a student

Vanitha asks: I’m 27 and single. Even as a teenager I haven’t ever admired any guy’s physical appearance. For the past 2 years my parents have sought an alliance for me, but its not working. Due to that depression I’m getting attracted to many guys these days. Currently I’m working as a teacher, and now I’ve developed a huge crush on a student. I know this is a wrong thing, but I can’t control my feelings. I want to see him always. Please advise me.

Hi Vanitha –

Your letter brings up a lot of issues, but for me the best thing is your understanding that you simply can’t act on those feelings about your student.  It would be really wrong.  But, at the same time, it would be crazy to deny those feelings are there.

In fact, I think your feelings are absolutely appropriate.

We dogs are born way more developed than you people – after all, we’re usually walking within a few days of our birth, and you guys don’t get started on it for a year.  But once we get going, most puppies develop at around the same rate.  Whereas you humans vary a lot.  Some babies start with a few words, and build their vocabularies, while others don’t say a syllable till they start talking in complete sentences.

And then there are what are called Late Bloomers.

Those are the people who seem more like children, well into their teen years.  Maybe they don’t start getting interested in anyone romantically/sexually till years after their classmates do.  Maybe even their bodies change later than other teens.

And Vanitha, you sound to me like a very Late Bloomer.  It sounds to me like the feelings that most girls start getting around age 13 didn’t come to you until you were in your 20s.  And now you’re beginning to notice men, and are ready for your first crush.

Well, doesn’t it make sense that your first crush is on a teenage boy?  After all, most other girls’ first crushes are.

Just because your body is 27 years old doesn’t mean your romantic sense is.  No, you’re actually going through a teenage experience, much later than most.

And there’s nothing wrong with that.  In fact, it’s kind of cool.  As long as you don’t do anything wrong.

Think about it.  Most teenagers want to be able to leave home and stay out all night…  You Can!  Most teenagers want to be able to drink the same things as adults… You Can!  And most teenagers want to be treated as equals by the grownups around them…  You Can!

But as you enter the world of romance, you’ve got a bit of a problem.  What we want is for you to Continue reading

0 Should a young person pursue wild dreams or follow a practical path?

Lil Chen asks: We only live once and I don’t want to live my life knowing that I wasn’t able to pursue my goals. Recently, I went to the guidance counselor today and teared up thinking how much I wasted my years. I had this principle or value that I should focus more on the present but now that I think about it, the present is like only for fun, or something like that. It’s important but the future also matters. It’s what sets you for life. I don’t know what course to take in college and when they (guidance counselor) asked me what my interests were, all I could think of was KPOP/Entertainer/Singer/Comedian/Artist. But to be honest, that’s what I want. I didn’t want to share it in fear that they will mock me or something. I asked them though that if I wanted to pursue my interest but lack in talent, was it ok or reachable, and they said yes which gave me hope and some motivation. I was an honor student in Grade 11 but now I lost my motivation to study or do things, which is why I failed to reach the cut off for my STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics) courses, some of them (nursing, engineering, etc.) I slept in the exam and I totally regret it. I think my self-esteem was more wounded when I shared my interest to my friends and they just laughed it off and gave me a lecture about the impossibility of that happening. I don’t know if there are times when they thought I was serious. There are times where they tell me if I become one, I should still remember them but then there are times when they say that it’s impossible. I’m confused whether they support me or not. Face Reality is what they call it, but I believe that if I do try hard enough, I can actually try and do it. That could also be the meaning of Face Reality. As long as I am motivated and really want to do it then I can achieve it. Before I used to be really quiet, as in winning the “My Lips Are Sealed Award” in 6th grade for being silent since 3rd grade, and my silence continued till 2nd year or 8th grade. I decided that I wanted to change, so I did and became this talkative and somewhat class clown (girl ver.) in class. Due to that, a lot of people don’t take me seriously and since I want to make friends and don’t really wanna hurt our relationship, I contain my anger and I don’t usually have that kind of emotional or dramatic kind of life anymore. Laugh and smile! So I don’t know how to console people who have problems anymore. I don’t know what to say or if what I’m saying is right. But lately, I keep weeping to myself about life and just about everything. Life is hard but I keep holding on to the saying that if I try hard enough, I can do anything in life. For now, I plan to retake the test so I can have more options (nursing, engineering, etc.) or take exams from different schools (though I don’t want to transfer schools). My backup course is either nursing, architect or International Languages. I tried to repeat it to my friends and family about planning to save up money to go to Korea next year and join voice lessons this summer and keep practicing and also learning Korean on my own. That way I will be able to audition for agencies next year. I don’t think they took me seriously, and I’m not much of a serious talker, so I guess thanks to that I get hurt when they say bad things and encouraged when they say good stuff. Another problem is the age requirement to become an ‘idol.’ They take teens mostly and I’m already 18. If I go to Korea, I’ll be 21. They do still accept early 20’s but its kind of risky especially since I’m a foreigner. Which is why I wished to go back 5 years more so I can actually be more prepared, but I realized what I wanted too late. When I was a quiet person, I was more of “This is impossible” and stuff like that but I changed and I like this change (a little too much). So it will be a slim chance that they accept me as a trainee with my age and all the more I only went back to voice lessons this year while learning Korean all by myself. Another requirement is dancing, and since I want to save money, I want to teach myself, but I also want to get a teacher. Life is hard I know, but I also know that if I have faith and hope, we can achieve what we want in life. I’m also scared to talk to my parents about it cuz last time I told my dad I wanted to be a singer, he laughed at me and asked how can I become one if I don’t practice. I wanted to pursue voice lessons back then again (I took voice lessons before) but I was sad that he didn’t really encourage me to go on. I asked my mom about what I should do with my life and she told me that it’s up to me. I don’t know what’d she do if I tell her I wanna be an artist, and I’m scared of her response. I rely too much on my external motivation and our teacher told us that our internal motivations are more powerful so I want to change that. Am I making the right decision? Or are there more ways to help me fuel my motivation?

Hi Lil Chen –

When you wrote me a couple of years ago, you talked about having a bunch of goals, and struggling to figure out which to pursue.  And what saddens me in your letter is that it sounds to me like you didn’t really pursue the one you wanted the most, but instead absorbed a lot of negativity from people around you.

Here’s the truth: making it as a performer is hard, and rare.  It takes real commitment.  Talent’s great, but commitment is more important.  And you need to loooooooove what you do.

So, right now, I know that you would love to be a KPOP star, but I don’t know how much you love singing or dancing.  And I don’t know because you don’t.  I promise you, Adele was told for years that she didn’t have the looks to be a singing star, Taylor Swift was told she was too young and should focus on her schoolwork… and Psy was told he didn’t look anything like a dancer!

So I’m going to agree with you.  That it would have been better for you to try these things when you were younger, but it’s not too late.  But my friend, this is the time to jump in.  Sure, pass those exams (it’s always great to have a fallback, and even big stars like Emma Watson and Natalie Portman took time off their careers to get university degrees).  But most importantly, START SINGING!  Sing every day.  Take lessons if you can, but sing LOTS. And start dancing.  Imitate the dancers you like best and try to match their moves.  Then, if you can get lessons, all the better.

And if you do this, one of two things will happen.  Either doing this singing and dancing will fill your heart with joy and excitement, and you’ll be ready to devote yourself to them… or it won’t.  And either way, you’ll have learned what you truly feel.

When I wrote you before, I told you I loved chasing squirrels, whether I caught them or not.  The world is full of people who love to sing and dance but didn’t become stars.  Find out if you’re one of them, first.  And if you are, THEN devote yourself to trying for stardom.  And you’ll have no bigger supporter than this pup!

And if you find you don’t love doing those things… oh, you’ll just have to suffer with being (from what I can see) quite brilliant and becoming a great success who might change the world!

STOP WAITING!  THE TIME IS NOW!

All my best,

Shirelle

0 How to tell a girlfriend or boyfriend something you’ve kept secret?

jovan28 asks: My girlfriend and I have been together for about six months now. We met on LoveMe over a year ago. We started out as friends and eventually got together. She’s a really great girl; smart, understanding, nice, appealing, and more positive attributes. The problem right now is that she doesn’t know about my three-year-old child that I had with an ex. It’s not like I was trying to hide it from her. I just didn’t get the chance to open up to her about my boy. I also don’t have much opportunity to introduce him to video chat since he lives and stays with his mom most days. I started hinting at her about children. Maybe she thought I wanted kids or maybe she took it as a sign that I have a kid. My ex-girlfriend’s okay with me seeing someone since she’s already with someone else herself. She told me I should introduce our kid to my girlfriend as soon as possible. I think she’s right. What if my girlfriend doesn’t like the idea of me having a child with someone else? At least I would know ahead, right? How do I tell my girlfriend that I already have a son? I want to reassure her that my obligations with my child won’t be a problem for us. I want to give her the assurance that despite the constant communication between me and my ex-girlfriend, nothing will happen. I need help from anyone. Any advice will do.

Hi jovan28 –

This is a problem I see people having all the time. You know, when we dogs meet, we decide whether we like each other right away, and that’s all we need to know. If that other pooch is a fighter or a fraidy-cat, then yeah, we might not become great playmates. But there’s never a secret, a hidden issue, that will affect our relationships.

But with you guys, there always seem to be these things. Sometimes they’re small (“I have a history of baldness in my family, and I’ll probably lose my hair in my 30’s”), sometimes bigger (“I have a transmittable disease that I keep under control but can’t cure”), and sometimes huge (“I have a husband” or in your case, “I have a child.”).

And it’s impossible to know the right time to tell about it. My human friend Handsome once went out with a woman a few times before finding out that she had a prosthetic leg. When he discovered it, he asked why she hadn’t let him know sooner. “Well when is the right time to tell about that?” she asked him. “Before we met, ‘I have blonde hair, blue eyes, and a prosthetic leg?’ Or on the first date, ‘I like walks on the beach, but sometimes get sand in the hinges?’” The fact is, he realized, she’d had no ‘right time’ to tell him. The time she chose was as good as any.

And you’re largely in the same situation.

I think the most important thing you can do is to Continue reading