Category Archives for "Life Skills"

0 How to fend off bullies who insult your better qualities

ebrooke asks: I am in high school. A big group of bullies say mean things behind my back. I don’t know why but I think it’s because a) I look anorexic (I’m not); b) I sound American and people say mean things about that; c) I am friends with all the boys except the mean ones; and d) I have good grades (I don’t think that’s bad though). One day they called me and my friends nerds and a called them a mean thing back and then they kept on saying mean things and so did I. I feel guilty and if I say anything, they won’t stop and they can tell on me too. What can I do?

Hi ebrooke –

Okay, first of all, I have a couple of pieces on Bullying, on this site.  Just go to the Search Box on your right, and type in Bullying or Bullies – you should find them.

But then I want to point something out to you about bullies.  The best of them, the really talented ones, are brilliant at making people feel bad about themselves, even for their best qualities.  Said with enough scorn, “You’re a beautiful genius” can be an insult!  You have here listed four things that these jerks insult you for – and not one of them is a Continue reading

0 How to overcome feeling isolated

dramatherapy asks: How can I overcome feeling isolated?

Hi dramatherapy –

Hey I love your name!  My friend Handsome studied Dramatherapy, and is a huge fan of it.  For those who don’t know, that’s a form of psychotherapy where, instead of just talking about things, the therapist and clients do lots of activities.  Maybe they’ll write poems, or play with puppets or musical instruments, or draw pictures, or even act out roles – all in special ways that help the clients grow through stuff.  If I were a therapist, I’d definitely be a Dramatherapist – if only because I can’t stand sitting still for long!!!

So, given that you chose that Pack name, I’m kind of surprised at your question.  Because, you see, I think your name IS the answer to it!

It’s terrible to actually be isolated.  When I’ve had to stay at the veterinarians’ office overnight, and I’m locked in a little cage all alone, I’m just miserable.  I know Handsome’s coming back to get me… but I don’t totally know it!  You know?  I mean… he does love me, right?  And he isn’t really mad at me about that thing he yelled about yesterday, is he?  The thing I couldn’t figure out?  And he’s going to be okay?  I mean, he’s not hurt or something and so can never get back to get me, is he??!

Now that’s real isolation.  But I’m assuming that you’re not locked in a Continue reading

0 How to get parents to stop complaining about your room

Resistance asks: How can we make our parent stop grumbling at us about our habitat?

Hi Resistance –

If I understand correctly, you’re asking how to get your parents off your case about your home, and especially your room.  Probably a mix between your decorating choices and your cleanliness habits.

Well, Resistance, you’re going to hate my first answer.  The way to get your parents to stop grumbling is probably to clean up after yourself.  All the time.  Yes, I mean taking your dishes to the kitchen when you’re done with them, and washing them (or at least putting them in the dishwasher).  And picking up your clothes and everything else before you leave every day.  And making your bed.  Yes, I mean all that boring irritating junk they incessantly complain about.  That’s the way to get them off your case.

At least, about the cleaning part.  But if they’re really griping a lot about the stuff you put on your Continue reading

0 Why is math so difficult?

queeny nik asks: Why is it difficult for me to learn maths at school?

Hi queeny nik –

Well, as you can probably guess, I’m not exactly a Calculus expert myself!  I see trained dogs who appear good at counting to four or so, but really, our brains just don’t go that way much.

And the truth is, not all human brains do, either.  The human brain is so complex that all sorts of specific talents show up in a million ways.  Mozart could never have invented the light bulb; Da Vinci didn’t figure out the printing press; and if Shakespeare lived today, I doubt he’d be any good at Continue reading

0 Why is it so hard to get teenagers to concentrate on schoolwork

perman asks: I am a maths teacher. Many students say that they can not concentrate on studies at this age. What’s the reason? Can you offer me any help to convince them.

Hi perman –

I have a number of posts on here for teens, about how to concentrate better, and study better.  It’s always been very difficult, but you’re right, today it’s even more than usual.

Why has it always been difficult?  Well, mainly because this is a time in life when people’s bodies are changing very quickly, their hormones are going just wild, they’re becoming much more interested in their peers than in anything else, and many of those peers are also changing, in ways that can become very very attractive!

But also, the teenage years are a time when humans begin to question Continue reading

0 why are teens drinking so much today

max asks: What’s the reason for the increase of young teenagers that drink today?

Hi max –

I have to be honest with you, max.  I’ve been looking around the internet, and I’m not seeing clear statistics about an increase.  In fact, in the US, it appears teenage drinking has gone down in the last decade.

But don’t get the idea that I’m saying it’s not a problem.  That reduction might well be because teens are doing more of other substances!

What I think you’re seeing, max, is due to two factors.  One is that as people get older, people younger than them look younger!  So if you were, say twelve, and you saw a fourteen-year-old drinking beer at a party, you were seeing an “older teen.”  But if you’re thirty and you see that same fourteen-year-old, you’re seeing a Continue reading

0 How to get a parent to not touch you so much

jamz12 asks: My Father is always teasing me, so whenever he touches me I get annoyed, yell at him, etc. What should I do to control my emotions? Because I know that I hurt his feelings when I yell at him.

Hi jamz12 –

I love that you’re concerned about your father’s feelings.  That’s a good quality, that will serve you well as your life goes on.

But I wish he showed as much concern for yours.

Look, it’s tough to be a parent.  For the first few years, you have a 24-hour job of taking care of this helpless little being, and the only reward you get is to stuff your face into its tummy and make farting noises with your mouth!  Then the kid gets older, and you love nothing more than the physical connection you have with them – hugs, them falling asleep on you, all that.  Then they get a little older than that… and suddenly they want their own space.  They don’t want you touching them all the time.  And of course, that Continue reading

0 Is it dangerous to date someone too good-looking?

michelle asks: What will you do if a very handsome guy who is every girl`s dream tells you he loves you? Would you accept it because he is every girls dream? Or not?

Hi michelle –

Well, I might be the wrong one to ask.  You see, to my mind, the handsomest guy in the world is the human I live with.  No one in the world makes me happier to see.  That’s why I call him Handsome.

And Handsome tells me he loves me every day.  In a thousand ways.  So what do I do when he tells me that?  Let’s see, I jump on him, I lick his face, I bite his Continue reading

0 How to train a dog

jamz12 asks: How can I train dogs?

Hi jamz12 –
Well, of course, I’ve never trained a dog.  I have spent most of my lifetime training a human – and at this point I’ve got him feeding me, walking me, and scratching me at that place I really love right there, just on the left side of my tummy, where I can never quite scratch myself in quite the right….  Oooooooohhhhhhhh yeah, that’s it…  Aaaaaaahhhhhh!

There are lots of experts out there, who know how to train difficult dogs, or train dogs to do amazing tricks.  But usually, what people really want is to train their dogs to do three things:  1) be safe; 2) not hurt or bother other people; and 3) be easy to Continue reading

0 When to give up on a relationship

MahalnaPrinsesa25 asks: How will you know if you need to give up on a guy?

Hi MahalnaPrinsesa25 –

Giving up on someone is a very difficult and sad thing.  If you’re together, then it means breaking up, which always results in at least one of you getting hurt.  And if you mean just giving up on hopes of getting someone, then that’s the death of a dream – and usually a very beautiful dream.  So it’s not something one wants to do, unless you’re really sure it’s the only way.

So how will you know it’s time?  Well, usually just because you Continue reading