When to give up on a relationship

MahalnaPrinsesa25 asks: How will you know if you need to give up on a guy?

Hi MahalnaPrinsesa25 –

Giving up on someone is a very difficult and sad thing.  If you’re together, then it means breaking up, which always results in at least one of you getting hurt.  And if you mean just giving up on hopes of getting someone, then that’s the death of a dream – and usually a very beautiful dream.  So it’s not something one wants to do, unless you’re really sure it’s the only way.


So how will you know it’s time?  Well, usually just because you know.  When it’s clear to you that what you’re hoping for just isn’t ever going to happen, and this person will never be what you need, that’s the time.


Now sometimes it’s obvious.  You have a crush on someone, and they get engaged to be married.  Well, you’re kinda out of luck!  Or you’re dating someone and you both want to end it and date other people.  Great, let it go.


But what about when it’s not?  Handsome once dated a woman he loved very much, who told him, in tears, “I can’t stand this.  You’re perfect for me, and I feel nothing for you.”  That was really hard, for both of them (and since I was the shoulder he cried on, it was hard for me too!).  But in the long run, she was absolutely right to do it then, so both could move on in their lives.

Then there are a few times when I say it’s mandatory to give up on someone.  The biggest one is if they hit you.  There is no reason to stay in a relationship with someone who thinks so little of you they’d strike you.  Now sure, if it happens only once, in the heat of explosive anger, and they feel really bad about it and swear never to do it again, then maybe you can stay with them.  But the second it happens again, race away from them like me from a dog pound!  You are better than that.

Often, another “deal-breaker” is if they cheat on you.  Again, different couples work on different rules, but I sure understand saying “You kissed her?  Well you’ll never kiss me again.  See ya!”

But beyond those, it’s really hard, MahalnaPrinsesa25.  You just have to decide for yourself.  And whatever you decide, you’ll almost certainly have lots of “second thoughts” about it afterward.  So just look into your own heart, take some time for yourself, and find your own truth.  That’s where the best answers always lie.


Good Luck,



About the Author

Leave a Reply 0 comments

Leave a Reply: