How to get parents to stop complaining about your room

Resistance asks: How can we make our parent stop grumbling at us about our habitat?

Hi Resistance –



If I understand correctly, you’re asking how to get your parents off your case about your home, and especially your room.  Probably a mix between your decorating choices and your cleanliness habits.


Well, Resistance, you’re going to hate my first answer.  The way to get your parents to stop grumbling is probably to clean up after yourself.  All the time.  Yes, I mean taking your dishes to the kitchen when you’re done with them, and washing them (or at least putting them in the dishwasher).  And picking up your clothes and everything else before you leave every day.  And making your bed.  Yes, I mean all that boring irritating junk they incessantly complain about.  That’s the way to get them off your case.


At least, about the cleaning part.  But if they’re really griping a lot about the stuff you put on your wall or shelves, that’s another story.  Because there, it’s about taste, not about order.  So, let me ask you, if that is the case – is there something specific that bothers them?  Do you have pictures of people wearing fewer clothes than your parents find appropriate?  Do you have posters of rock stars that have symbols or words or gestures that they find offensive?  If those are the case, you might just have to give in – figure that it’s their home, and that as long as you’re living there, you have to follow the rules.


It’s like me – I will drag a rat I’ve killed into the house, and Handsome always takes it and throws it out.  I hate that!  I’m really proud of that rat, and want to keep it around as a reminder of my hunting skill, but he insists that as long as he pays for the food and vet bills, I can’t keep it in his house.  So I really have no choice.


But what if they don’t really have a problem with the content of what you put on the walls; they just don’t care for it?  Say, they want to have framed fine art pieces on your wall, and you want to put up some posters, which they find kind of tacky.


If it’s this case, I think you’re in a position to negotiate.  After all, it is your room.  You’re at a time in your life when you want to define your own environment more than you have in the past.  So is there a compromise you can reach?  For example, that you promise to fill in any holes in the wall you’ve made with thumbtacks, or even to repaint the whole room if your stuff has damaged the paint job?  You see, the actual act of sitting down with them and negotiating something like this is a sign of growing up!  So even though they might be annoyed by the fact that you have “immature” stuff on your walls, they’re going to be impressed with how maturely you dealt with it, and probably give in (to a degree).


So, to reiterate, I have three suggestions for you:  Give in, Give up, and Give a Little.  Give in about cleaning; Give up on hanging things they find intolerable; and Give a Little in your negotiations about the style of your room, while asking them to do the same.


Good Luck to you!



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