Category Archives for "Family"

2 What to do if you see an animal being abused

Hachiko asks: There’s this dog (a small one) I really want to keep, but my mom won’t let me (In our religion keeping dogs is okay, but they say they’re unpure and better not to keep) and this dog gets beaten by men who work down-stairs. What can I do? I’m just a girl who can’t disobey her parent’s 🙁

Hi Hachiko –

Of course, being a dog, it’s tough for me to talk from the point of view of those who don’t think we’re just the best things around.  But I have to acknowledge that they’re out there, and that they have the right to their opinions.

Someday, you’ll be an adult, and you’ll have the right to make decisions for yourself, like whether or not to have a dog as a pet.  But for now, you’re right, you can’t have it in your parents’ home.  It’s sad, but true.

But there’s another issue here.  Which is that you’re witnessing an Continue reading

0 How to confront someone you believe robbed you

Hachiko asks: I have a feeling my house maid stole my earphones. I saw her with them twice (not directly though, like when she wears her scarf I saw a white thing – my ear-phones are white – and when I asked to see what it was, she put it in her bra!) I know I’m just a kid but I don’t like seeing people steal or lie. Also, she has friends here who she can just give things to and hide them. I figure that since you’re a dog and dogs are great in catching thieves, you’d have some good advice! 😉

Hi Hachiko –

I don’t know if there’s anything worse than losing trust in someone.  We all live our lives assuming we know who we can trust and who we can’t.  It’s as much a part of our comfort in our homes as our beds.  And when we suddenly stop trusting someone close to us, it’s just like a leg on our bed breaking.  Everything feels insecure and un-level.  And life becomes really miserable.

Of course I have no idea whether this woman stole your earphones, or if you accidentally lost them and she was hiding something else.  What I do know is that, if she did take them, your asking her about that “white thing” means she knows you’re suspicious of her.  (If she didn’t take them, she probably has no Continue reading

0 What can a kid do when life at home becomes unbearable?

RebGijey asks: I’m a 12-year-old kid and my parents are always fighting. They have tons of problems, and always drag me into them, and so I get psychologically, emotionally, physically and mentally affected – even in my studies and school activities. I’ve told them that I’m now planning to move away from them and stay in an apartment or dorm in our school, but they couldn’t even care less. Now, I just need a job to pay my rent. PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Hi RebGijey –

I don’t know where you live, RebGijey, so I can’t speak about the laws on child labor, or about a 12-year-old’s rights to live on their own.  But I can sure say this – your situation sounds AWFUL!

It is possible that your home life could be so bad that the police or some social workers could demand that you be allowed to live elsewhere.  But I don’t know if they could guarantee that you’d be able to stay at the same school.

I feel a little helpless, as there’s just so much I don’t know.  But the main idea that strikes me is about your Continue reading

0 What can a child of an unhappily-married couple do to help their parents?

Hachiko asks: My parents are married to each other but they don’t love each other. And maybe that’s why I cry sometimes. What should I do? They’re just married because in our country people have to get married (love ‘em or not).

Hi Hachiko –

The situation you’re describing is very sad.  And sad for everyone, not just you, and not just your parents.  It’s very common too.

When people get married, they almost always either feel in love with each other, or feel good enough about each other that they believe they’ll feel more love as time goes by.  And as we all know, that feeling almost always changes over time.  And when it does, they can either split up (through separation or divorce), or work on improving the relationship, or just stick with each other with no improvement.  As you can probably imagine, I like the Continue reading

1 Why do teenagers pull away from their parents?

Mamathato asks: My son is 13 years old, and he has become sensitive about some stuff. For example, he told me not to call him in front of his friends a lot, because I am embarrassing him, and his friends call him mommy’s boy.

Hi Mamathato –

I don’t know if this will strike you as good news or bad, but here goes:  You son’s behavior is 100% ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY FULLY SUPERLATIVELY… Normal.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that, if a teenager hits age 18 without having behaved the way your son is acting, there’s something wrong.

The job of a child is to bond with their parents or caregivers, and learn to live life based on how those adults act.  The job of a teenager is to differentiate themselves from those parents, and begin to live life on their own Continue reading

0 How can parents protect their children from online pornography and predators?

Grimes asks: I am so worried. I have just seen my 14-year-old daughter’s phone, and the things she has been up to have turned me grey overnight. She has been on chat rooms claiming to be 18 and having very sexual texts with the men on there. She has been looking at all kinds of adult material on the web. I am so worried that after the material she has seen and the things she has said, she will have a very dark idea of what sex is about. We have taken all devices out of her bedroom and blocked all sites. This came as a massive shock – the things she was saying as she acts very young for her age fooled me in every way. I have stressed the danger of what she is doing, but I’m finding it hard to look her in the face. Please help!

Hi Grimes –

There are problems that parents have faced ever since societies began.  Infants wander off, children have tantrums, teens rebel.  Most of the issues I talk about on this site are universal and eternal, like these.

But families today have a particular issue that no one ever dealt with before, which is the incredible technology at the fingertips of youth.  There have always been predators, but computers and cell phones give them so much easier access to kids.  Teens have always been curious about sex, but these devices make it impossible for them to learn only the things you want them to, or for communication to be controlled.  I am not an alarmist, Grimes, but you are absolutely right to be as frightened and concerned as you are.  The giant question is what Continue reading

0 How to handle a rebellious teenager who’s not even yours

sika asks: I have a 15 year old nephew. He has being staying with me for 4 months now. He does not respect me, nor my husband whom I married only a year ago. His behavior has brought constant argument between my husband and me, and he wants him to go back to his parents, but I am afraid it will bring sibling rivalry. Please, I need advice.

Hi sika –

What a tough situation!  It sounds like you and your husband are really trapped.

But, I would guess, your nephew feels the same way.  I’m wondering why he’s staying at your house – did his parents want him to leave their home?  If so, he’s probably feeling very unwanted and rejected, which might explain his general anger and disrespect (Lots of dogs in the pound behaved that way too; they didn’t tend to get bought by customers, but they were so angry and scared they didn’t even Continue reading

0 Why do some children start talking later than others?

Katiekazoo asks: I have three cousins. They are 2-4 years old, and can’t communicate with other people. For example, they can’t say “Auntie I’m hungry!” It worries me. Can you help?

Hi Katiekazoo –

There are a lot of possible answers to your question, but the main one that hits me is – are all three of them siblings in the same family?  You see, children who are learning to speak at approximately the same time often develop a language among themselves which only they can understand.

It’s not that they’re trying to exclude others.  It’s just that as they try to learn to speak with the adults, they’re ‘mislearning’ so many words that they’re the only ones who understand each Continue reading

0 What are good breakfast foods?

sega asks: What are some of the best easy breakfast options?

Hi sega –

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the term “the dog’s breakfast,” but I’m assuming that isn’t what you’re asking for!  (it means vomit!)

Well of course, I primarily love leftovers of whatever Handsome had for dinner the night before.  It’s always great, it’s very easy for him to prepare (just pull it out of the refrigerator and put it in my bowl), and I’ve always been craving it ever since he got home!

But you’re probably after something more usual.  Well, as good as they taste, my sense of nutrition tells me that starting the day with Continue reading

3 Why would a well-cared-for teenager act out?

Nunu asks: We are a family of five. This is my and my husband’s second marriage each. We have a six-year-old daughter, and my husband has two daughters with his first wife. The eldest, 17, lives with her Mom. The youngest, 15, lives with us. The problem that we have is that the 15-year-old spreads lies and steals, which is why she came to live with us. We do not have any financial problems, so the girls get all they need and more. We are very loving parents, always involved with the children, and give them a lot of attention. Lately the 15-year-old has started lying about been emotionally abused and hit at home, as she did when she lived with her mom. She has also begun stealing from us (little things like money, jewelry, and makeup, etc.). We have grounded her countless times and taken her cellphone and laptop away for punishment. We have spoken to her and asked the reasons why she does these things and her answer is always “I don’t know.” She talks back, shouts at everyone, does not do her homework or assignments for school, and gets physically abusive towards our 6-year-old. Please help – we are at our wits’ end with her.

Hi Nunu –

There are so many possible reasons for her behavior that I’m hesitant to even guess what’s going on.  But here are a few possibilities:

1)    Even though you have been an attentive and caring set of parents, middle children almost always feel ignored and alienated in their families (largely because they never got as much attention as the other kids did in their early life).  Lying and stealing can be ways of trying to take power in an environment where they don’t feel any.

2)    Maybe not all her statements are complete Continue reading