Home asks: What is meaning of behavior?
Hi Home –
I’m not sure exactly what you’re asking. If you’re asking for the actual definition of the word, an online dictionary says it’s “a manner of behaving or acting, or observable activity in a human or animal.” In other words, I guess it’s anything anyone does.
But you might be asking what one’s behavior means. Now that’s a HUGE Continue reading
smiletrain48 asks: What punishment should be given when a 13-year-old girl is caught smoking?
Hi smiletrain48 –
I’m a big believer in certain sorts of punishment, for certain things. I never would have learned not to pee in the house, or not to climb onto the couch, unless Handsome had let me know that such things weren’t acceptable. But in truth, he didn’t have to do much about them. Once I knew they were outlawed, I was pretty good at avoiding them.
But when I was a puppy, Biting was another story! I knew he hated it, and I bit him all the time! Bit his ankles, bit his shoes, bit his Continue reading
Mamathato asks: My son is 13 years old, and he has become sensitive about some stuff. For example, he told me not to call him in front of his friends a lot, because I am embarrassing him, and his friends call him mommy’s boy.
Hi Mamathato –
I don’t know if this will strike you as good news or bad, but here goes: You son’s behavior is 100% ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY FULLY SUPERLATIVELY… Normal.
In fact, I’ll go so far as to say that, if a teenager hits age 18 without having behaved the way your son is acting, there’s something wrong.
The job of a child is to bond with their parents or caregivers, and learn to live life based on how those adults act. The job of a teenager is to differentiate themselves from those parents, and begin to live life on their own Continue reading
Crystal asks: There’s a man who has been crazy in Love with me for about five years. I don’t feel anything for him, and I don’t want to. He is good at studying and can say is a good guy, but he is not my type. He is one year my senior and we are in same grade in high school. He is poor and we have different religions. Furthermore, he said he can’t stop this and thinks he’ll feel it forever. Whenever he sends a message to me, I have always ignored it because I’m getting bored with this. What should I do?
Hi Crystal –
This is very hard for me to say, because I am a hugely romantic-minded dog, and love the idea of forever-romance. But the fact is, this guy is wrong. His feelings for you will not last forever.
Look, I’m a dog, and no one loves stronger and more passionately than we do. But if we like someone who consistently ignores or rejects, or even lashes out, at us, we’ll eventually stop being interested in them. And similarly, if we have an owner we love enormously, who sells or gives us away to someone else, we’ll learn to love those new owners in just that way (though it might take a long time), and kind of forget our first ones.
Now humans have much bigger brains than we do, which makes you smarter and more stubborn! So I’m not saying that getting this guy to move on in his life will be as easy as it would be if he were a Schnauzer. But the truth is, he will move on.
Your job is to find ways to make it happen Continue reading
sika asks: I have a 15 year old nephew. He has being staying with me for 4 months now. He does not respect me, nor my husband whom I married only a year ago. His behavior has brought constant argument between my husband and me, and he wants him to go back to his parents, but I am afraid it will bring sibling rivalry. Please, I need advice.
Hi sika –
What a tough situation! It sounds like you and your husband are really trapped.
But, I would guess, your nephew feels the same way. I’m wondering why he’s staying at your house – did his parents want him to leave their home? If so, he’s probably feeling very unwanted and rejected, which might explain his general anger and disrespect (Lots of dogs in the pound behaved that way too; they didn’t tend to get bought by customers, but they were so angry and scared they didn’t even Continue reading
jaatt asks: I am very shy. I want to have sex with my girlfriend, but she doesn’t like sex. So please tell me how I can force her into happy sex.
Hi jaatt –
Okay, let’s start with one simple statement, that means a GIGANTIC amount: You should not, EVER, force anyone into sex.
I realize that lots of my Pack members aren’t that great with English, and so you might not have meant your question the way it came out. But that’s really the point about this issue: you need to be extra-super-careful to make sure of two things: first, that you never make someone feel like they’re being forced into sex; and second, that you never let anyone misinterpret that you have Continue reading
Nunu asks: We are a family of five. This is my and my husband’s second marriage each. We have a six-year-old daughter, and my husband has two daughters with his first wife. The eldest, 17, lives with her Mom. The youngest, 15, lives with us. The problem that we have is that the 15-year-old spreads lies and steals, which is why she came to live with us. We do not have any financial problems, so the girls get all they need and more. We are very loving parents, always involved with the children, and give them a lot of attention. Lately the 15-year-old has started lying about been emotionally abused and hit at home, as she did when she lived with her mom. She has also begun stealing from us (little things like money, jewelry, and makeup, etc.). We have grounded her countless times and taken her cellphone and laptop away for punishment. We have spoken to her and asked the reasons why she does these things and her answer is always “I don’t know.” She talks back, shouts at everyone, does not do her homework or assignments for school, and gets physically abusive towards our 6-year-old. Please help – we are at our wits’ end with her.
Hi Nunu –
There are so many possible reasons for her behavior that I’m hesitant to even guess what’s going on. But here are a few possibilities:
1) Even though you have been an attentive and caring set of parents, middle children almost always feel ignored and alienated in their families (largely because they never got as much attention as the other kids did in their early life). Lying and stealing can be ways of trying to take power in an environment where they don’t feel any.
2) Maybe not all her statements are complete Continue reading
Jupica asks: My kid is 3 years old, and she does a big show in the morning, because she won’t clean her mouth or brush her teeth. She cries and screams a lot, making a big noise. That takes sometimes half hour, and we are almost always late to school. Do you have any nice and easy idea that works in my case?
Hi Jupica –
I have two thoughts, which are completely different from each other. One is really common and should be fixable pretty easily; and the other is rarer, and really important to get to work on if that’s the case.
My first thought is – you have a 3-year-old who’s going to school. That’s pretty young, and she might well just hate going there and feeling abandoned by you (even if she actually has a good time once she’s Continue reading
toddlers asks: My baby girl is nine months old. I find her to be a hyperactive child. How should I handle her psychologically?
Hi toddlers –
It’s very normal for a nine-month-old baby to be super-active, and get into everything. That’s what I was like as a puppy too! If that’s what you’re talking about, then there’s nothing to worry about except your own exhaustion. But if the baby is truly acting abnormal in her sleep patterns, mood, or inability to focus, you should definitely take her to a medical doctor, to have her tested.
In terms of ADHD, though, it’s way too early for that to be Continue reading
buffy1 asks: I have a 16-year-old son who seems to have lost his mind with his first girlfriend. He is terribly aggressive, he has failed 2 schools in one year after being a 70% average student, he won’t listen to reason, he ran away from home a few weeks ago, and now he wants to move 750 km away just to be with his new girlfriend. How do I deal with this?
Hi buffy1 –
I don’t know where you live, but the first question I have is about laws. (For example, if I run away from home, I’m just going to get picked up by dog-catchers, regardless of my reasons!)
Does your son have the right to move away without your permission? Was he legally allowed to run away from home? I don’t know those things, and of course those are huge elements of any good answer for you.
But not knowing those, I have one really strong reaction to your question: Is That Continue reading