Category Archives for "Adults"

0 Do you believe in Magic?

Hasitha asks: Do you believe magic?

Hi Hasitha –

What a great question!  It’s a rare and special person who’d write a dog to ask if she believes in Magic, but you are just that person, and I appreciate it!

Now to give a decent answer, I need to clarify what you mean by Magic.  If you mean to ask whether I believe it when people perform magic tricks, I have to admit that, as a dog, I’m very gullible.  I believe whatever I see.  If someone shows me an empty hat and pulls a rabbit out of it, I’ll believe they just pulled that rabbit out of that hat.  But I have that same kind of surprise every day.  Handsome will walk into the house with a paper bag, and out of it comes a can, and out of that can comes my Continue reading

4 How to stop someone from bossing you

Katie asks: how do you stop some one from bossing you around?

Hi Katie –

Hey Handsome?!  Are you listening?!   Katie here is asking me about how to stop someone from bossing me around.  Do you think she means “bossing” like when you’re always telling me “Come,” “Sit,” “Stay,” “Heel,” or “Shut Up?!”  Or when you say “Hey Shirelle, get your lazy self up off that bed, you’ve got letters to answer!”  Or when you really get upset and yell “Get your nose out of my dinner plate NOW!!”

Nope, Katie, he’s totally ignoring me.  So I’ll just answer your question (and I’ll bet he’ll read it later!).

The really tough question here, Katie, is what kind of “bossing” you’re talking about.  If it’s your parents telling you that you have to do your chores and homework, or a teacher or school administrator telling you you have to follow the school rules, there’s not a whole lot you can do.  You can do things to try to make their bossing a little less Continue reading

0 How to deal with a jealous friend

brena asks: My friend told my boyfriend she was in love with him, and that if she broke up with her boyfriend, he would be her backup plan (at that time my boyfriend and I were not together). Now we are together again, but it looks like she is jealous over us: she is always calling him to do things for her that I don’t ask him to do for me. His mother baked a cake and told him that I was to get the biggest slice, but instead the girl took out the bigger slice and ate it! I was so upset! I don’t trust her because she made my life hell when I was 15 (she made me talk to her 19-year-old cousin and they lied about his age, and he broke my heart! And she knew he was cheating on me, but because she was afraid of him she did not tell me). I once thought she was a nice person, but I don’t know what to think anymore. Because of this my boyfriend keeps reminding me about my past with her cousin, and it hurts so bad that sometimes I cry.

Hi Brena –

Now I know that there are at least two sides to every story, and I’m sure this girl has her viewpoint.  But I have to say that, from everything you’re telling me, she doesn’t sound like much of a friend at all!  The incident about her cousin sounds pretty innocent (I don’t notice most humans telling people the ages of the people they introduce them to – “Hi this is my cousin Donny, and he’s 32” sounds weird, you know? – and you even say that she didn’t tell you about his cheating because she was afraid of him).  But this other stuff is really weird.

Let me make sure I got it straight.  When you and your boyfriend were broken up, she told him he was her “backup plan.”  In other words, he was the guy she’d go out with if anything happened with her current relationship.  Now why would someone say such a thing?  What effect did she want to have on your boyfriend?  To get him to wait for her, out of hope that her relationship would Continue reading

0 How to get rid of flab

spectro.patronam asks: I am 13 years old and I have a serious problem which is hampering my studies, my life, and my decisions. I have excessive belly fat and love handles. The rest of my body parts are fit and ok, but I have not been able to do anything about those. I know that you would suggest me to exercise, but I don’t get enough time for that. And my friends tease me. I have stopped dancing (although I am a good dancer and have already received many prizes for winning dance competitions) and I also have stopped taking part in the activities that I am good at. Can you help me by suggesting some ways to reduce my belly fat and love handles?

Hi spectro.patronam –

Your question brings up a lot of issues, but I want to primarily go after one.  You say that you don’t have time for exercise.  I disagree.  I insist that you don’t have enough time to NOT exercise!  Imagine if someone asked you if you had time enough to breathe.  Let’s see, if you didn’t breathe, you’d probably only live for a few minutes, right?  So no, you have to breathe, so you’ll have time to do the other things you want or need to do.  Well exercise is only a little less drastic.

The biggest health problem in the industrialized world today is a mix of eating unhealthy food and lack of exercise.  And as a person (or dog) progresses with junk food and non-exercise, they lose Continue reading

0 How can a teacher establish relationships to students?

MESS asks: I am a new teacher in The American school. How can I establish a relationship with all children?

Hi MESS –

Well I guess I have two answers for you.  The first is that it’s impossible.  Some kids are going to like you, while some really don’t.  Hey don’t take it personally – some kids don’t like me, and I’m soft and cuddly and pretty and playful and funny and lick their nose and… and they still don’t like me!  Maybe they were bitten by a dog once, so they are afraid of all dogs.  Or maybe they just like cats better (I know, I know, but some kids are just crazy that way!).  Or maybe they just have other things on their mind.  Similarly, some kids just aren’t going to like their teacher, or they’ll like teachers that are very different from you.  And for those kids, your job is just to do the best you can: teach them as much as possible, keep them safe and out of trouble, and work to give more of yourself to the others who really develop a relationship with you.

That’s my first answer.  My second is… Continue reading

0 What to do when you worry people are talking about you behind your back?

prettyndsweet12 asks: Dear Shirelle, I’m always worried that, whenever I’m not at school, people are talking about me behind my back and sharing my secrets. Can you give me some tips on how to relax and trust people?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

This is a problem for just about everyone, including all us dogs.  You’ll see when we meet each other, our tails usually go between our legs, and we carefully walk around each other and sniff.  This answers two questions – first, have we met before (and do I remember something that tells me whether or not I should trust this dog), and second, will the dog let me get this close.  Trusting is hard, and although we want to trust that dog, we also fear that it might hurt us.  So we do the best we can.

Your situation is a little different, though.  You’re not so afraid of what someone’s going to do when you’re there as you are of what happens when you’re Continue reading

1 How to reduce stage fright

Sarah asks: In two weeks I am going to perform (rap) on stage and I am extremely nervous. What can I do to help me reduce that fear?

Hi Sarah –

The first – and most important – thing for you to know about this is that Stage Fright is the most common greatest fear in the human race.  Let me clarify what I mean: when people are asked in surveys “What is your greatest fear,” and there are answers like illness, death, and losing all your money, they answer “Public Speaking” more often than anything else!

We dogs don’t have as big a problem with this, because we don’t have self-awareness and self-consciousness in the way humans do (simply because our brains are smaller!).  But I sure see humans freaking out about it a lot, so I can offer you a few suggestions to help you with it (try them out and see which ones work for you, and don’t worry about the Continue reading

0 Why would someone choose to sleep with wet hair?

Shira asks: My daughter wets her hair each time she takes a wash and keeps it wet without wiping. She even sleeps with wet hair, and she is having a blocked nose most of the days. Every night she is under antihistamine medicines due to this. We have tried our best to tell her not to wet the hair, but for some reason she cannot do this. Please help us to know how to correct her as it is very bad for her in the long run.

Hi Shira –

Okay, I have to admit, I am totally mystified about this!  Let me be clear, I hate baths!  I hate getting wet at all unless it’s because I’m playing and jump in the water.  And I love getting toweled off afterwards, largely because I (did I say this already) HATE baths!

So why someone would choose to stay wet, especially in bed, confuses me.

In fact, it confuses me so much that I think there has to be a Continue reading

0 How to fill in for a missing parent

junemarie6 asks: My grandson said last night he could not do his schoolwork at the table because it was too noisy. I said, “OK, then go to another room.” He said no! However, I made him go. He is always sassing and making smart remarks. (I guess I need to give you a little more information on the case: My son has asked mom to move out so I have taken over, which does not make them (boys) all that happy) What can I do to get my grandsons to complete their tasks and do what I ask?

Hi junemarie6 –

I feel funny offering you advice on child-rearing, because… I mean… you’ve already done it!  But you are in a specific and difficult situation, given what’s happened with your son’s marriage.  The best advice I can give you on this is to be patient!!!  Your grandsons are in a terrible situation, where they probably feel that being good and obedient to you is an act of disloyalty to their mother.  It’s as though you went from being the fun loving grandmother to the feared stepmother overnight!

Given that, it’s very understandable that they won’t know how to treat you for a Continue reading

0 Is it possible to fall in love with two people at the same time?

connie asks: Is it possible to fall in love with two admirers?

Hi Connie –

Oh absolutely it is!  There are many tales about it: Scarlett loved Ashley and Rhett, lots of the Greek gods and goddesses had no trouble loving more than one person (or god) at the same time… and think about that lady that Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney sing about in “The Girl is Mine.”  You know she couldn’t help but love both of them!!!

What does seem true, though, is that it’s very rare that a person can fall in love with more than one person in the same way.  Scarlett loved Ashley’s nobility and innocence, while also loving Rhett’s scalawag strength.  In fact, lots of people argue that it’s impossible to have all your needs met by just one person, so it’s best to, even if you’re married, have other people who you love and keep in your life, besides your spouse.

The tough part, of course, is what you Continue reading