0 What to do when your parents threaten to send you to a therapist

vampire22 asks: My parents have really been annoying me lately. I walked into my room to find that my mother had completely torn it apart. When I gave out to her, my father walked in and started giving out to me. They’re trying to make me go places, but I don’t want to go because school starts in three weeks and I’m nervous about that. No one understands, and my mother is trying to send me to a therapist because she says I’m too emotional. I can’t get away from it!

Hi vampire22 –

Boy, that does sound annoying!  I know that parents can sometimes really misunderstand their kids, and do and demand things that have nothing to do with where those kids really are at.

So I have a solution, I think.  And it’s a funny one, because it’s their Continue reading

1 What to do with an overworked mother

marlitha asks: My parents are separated. My mom is always busy at work, and when she comes home she never has time for me. She never asks me questions about my life (except to ask if I have homework). Everybody else in my class says that they love their moms because they always take time out for them. What should I do?

Hi marlitha –

There was a period of history when most mothers stayed at home and spent their time taking care of the household and raising the children.  For many reasons, that time has largely shifted to a new age when many women have to work outside the home.  It’s good in some ways, and kind of lousy in some others.  And probably the worst of those is that those women often come home tired and stressed, and aren’t as able to give their children the love and attention they otherwise would (they don’t walk the dogs as much either, lots of the time, which really gets under my collar!).

Of course it would be best if your mom could spend more time with you, and I’ll bet she’d Continue reading

0 What are the effects of teenage pregnancy?

mabs asks: What is teenage pregnancy all about, the causes, effects, and consequences?

Hi mabs –

I’m a bit confused by your question.  Are you asking what the causes, effects, and consequences of actual pregnancy are?  If so, the easy answers are: Sex and Babies!

But if you’re asking about the upsurge in teen pregnancy in recent years, your question is too big for this website!

The causes would include everything from changing sexual mores in Continue reading

2 How to deal with a judgmental parent

Sarah asks: I feel like I can’t trust or talk to anybody, because I always feel judged, especially by my mom. She always judges me on everything I do, and keeps stuff from me instead of talking to me about it. I also hate it when she’s home, and sometimes I fear her. I can’t be myself around her, and its also affecting me with other people because I am so anti-social and have low self-esteem. I really want to change how I interact with people but I feel like she’s holding me back from the world. Please give me some advice.

Hi Sarah –

Oh I hate hearing things like this.  Parents almost always do what they think is best for their kids, but sometimes they make this gigantic mistake, of overjudging, overprotecting, and so stifling them.

The first word of advice I can give you is long-term, which is to just Continue reading

0 Why would a hard-working teenager lack motivation?

Max asks: At home, I do lots of work but when it comes going out, I feel like not going. I go to college, and if I have to go somewhere, I can go for sure, but when I am home, no matter how important the matter is, I don’t feel like going. Is this laziness, or is something wrong with me?!

Hi Max –

Yes, there’s something wrong with you.  It’s your age!  You’re a college-age boy, and although we usually have this image of guys that age being aggressive, driven, excited, and very social, the truth is that this is a time when males often need to retreat for a while.

Am I correct in guessing that you’re also having some trouble making decisions these days?  That the world is expecting you to pick your major, pick your top interests, find a spouse… and you’re not quite able to choose between eating a carrot and an Continue reading

0 What are some good fun-reading books for teenagers?

sazuna45 asks: I’m getting really bored in vacation so I want some good books to read. Any suggestions? (Except books I have already read like: Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Twilight, The Hunger Games, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Kite Runner, Emma, Rebecca, Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights, David Copperfield, Ella Enchanted, Tom Sawyer, Moon and Sun Tales, etc.) Please! Any help will be appreciated!

Wow sazuna45!  You’ve read all those books already?

My inclination, based on what you’ve sent me before, is that you might enjoy some good poetry, especially of a romantic nature.  Have you ever read any Emily Dickinson?  You might really love her stuff.  Also, one of Handsome’s favorite all-time writers was Edgar Allan Poe, who wrote beautiful sad love poems, as well as lots of the greatest scary stories ever penned.

I have a few ideas of novels, though, based on what you Continue reading

0 How to deal with teenage drinking or alcoholism

Chandu asks: How to correct an alcoholic teenager?

Hi Chandu –

This is a great question, but before I answer at all, I want to clarify something – the word “alcoholic.”

Alcoholism is a terrible disease, an addiction in which the sufferer is unable, or nearly unable, to resist the urge to drink, no matter how bad the consequences are.  It’s much more than just a desire; it involves the person’s brain being literally re-wired, in a way that can never be undone, even after decades of sobriety.

Lots of teenagers drink, and lots drink way more than is remotely healthy for them or those around them, without being Continue reading

0 How to get teenagers in a therapy group to talk

neli1 asks: I am a student social worker. I have a therapeutic group with teenagers who have behavioral problems. We are currently having our third session and now getting to the purpose of the group. I’m stuck and I don’t know what to talk about!! Can you help?

Hi neli1 –

I don’t know the subject of your group, but from what I’ve heard about such things, the goal of most therapy groups is to get the members to talk freely among themselves, without prodding from the leader.

It makes sense that it’s too early now for that to have happened, but I think what you need to look for is ideas of ways to move closer to that.  Here are a few that might help.

1)    Create a Continue reading

0 What is Primary Complex, and how can it be treated?

lyn_prettydevera asks: what are the signs and symptoms of primary complex to teen-agers?

Hi lyn_prettydevera –

I did a quick web-search about it, and everything I found was about it being in children.  I’m not sure what age is considered the point where it stops being Primary Complex and becomes adult Tuberculosis, but in case you’re talking about someone young enough, here’s a good website for information about it:

http://www.ehow.com/about_6667737_primary-complex-tuberculosis-children.html

Absolutely, my strongest recommendation is that, if you suspect it, check with a physician at once.  Lots of people do just fine with TB, but, untreated, it can be extremely dangerous.

Good Luck, and Thanks!

Shirelle

0 Why can one still get depressed when they’re doing what they love?

Athny asks: I have been completely obsessed with Anime. I watch it all the time, and I mean All the time. But I sometimes get bored with it, and Life. I go to Karaoke, but I just sing Anime songs. I even have my own Hatsune Miku Costume. But I keep getting depressed half the time and I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?

Hi Athny –

You seem to be confusing two very different issues, Athny.  It’s absolutely fantastic to love something, even to the point of obsession.  Lots of people never find something they love that much.  Your love of Anime might well last your whole life, and influence all sorts of aspects of your world as you go.

For example, when Handsome was young, he developed a great love of the old Continue reading