1 Should you stay with someone who’s insulting you

barbie girl neika asks: I like this guy who is 5 years older than me. We have been together for four years on and off, but we broke up. I still have feelings for him, but he cheated and lied to me, and when we broke up he and the same girl got in a relationship. They are even together now! He even let me talk to her on the phone! He calls her names like “princess” and “Mrs.”… I’m jealous. Do you think I should let him go????? I’m awaiting your answer

Oh Barbie Girl Neika –

I am SUCH a romantic!  I spend so much time on this website trying to help couples work through problems, often including how to deal with the fact that one of them has done something wrong to the other.

But every dog has a breaking point.  No matter how nice and cuddly and licky and sweet we are, if we get mad enough, the hair on our back sticks up and our fangs come out and we become wild wolves like our ancestors and just want to rip the guts out of what’s angering us.  This is one of those Continue reading

1 Why teenagers should be given more freedom

Aly asks: Why should teenagers be given more freedom in social life?

Hi Aly –

My quick answer is “Because if they’re not given it, they’ll take it!”

But more importantly, they’ll take their freedom without your wisdom.

It’s like dogfood.  See, Handsome tends to make and eat food that’s a lot more interesting to me than my regular dog food.  But I know I’m not allowed to grab his food off the counter or the table.  And because I’m eating enough of my own food, I can handle the rules, and just hope he’ll give me some scraps when he’s done.  But if he didn’t feed me my own food, and I was really starving, I’d grab every bit of his Continue reading

0 What’s important about Math and English classes?

WILL asks: Do you like Maths and English? I asked it because these subjects are my favourites, and I like to study them.

Hi WILL –

That is so cool!  I hear from kids all the time that they hate those two subjects!  It’s wonderful that you like them, and I’m guessing that some credit should go to at least some teachers you’ve had.

Now I have to admit, my knowledge of Math is mainly about comparing my running speed to that of a squirrel, and my knowledge of English is about grasping what I need to know to write here (and a few really important spoken words like “Come,” “Sit,” “Stay,” “No,” and “Hey what would you think of us going out and sharing a ham and Continue reading

0 What do you regret about your teenage years?

Mary asks: Hey, what do you regret not doing during your teenage years????

Hi Mary –

What a great question!  Though I’m not sure which years you’re referring to with me.  If you mean mean the time in my life between the literal ages of twelve to twenty-one, almost any dog in the world would tell you that its regret about that period was not living longer!  But if you mean my teenage “dog years,” that would basically be the time I spent at the age of two (fourteen to twenty-one in dog years).  So what do I regret not doing then?

Continue reading

0 How to help teenagers get enough sleep

Judesaleh asks: Is it ok for my 12-year-old daughter to sleep over at my mum’s just because she doesn’t want anyone to tell her when to sleep and she likes to stay up sooo late? I can’t have any privacy when she is around. Knowing that my mum lives alone, and this is only during the summer vacation, what can I do to make her sleep earlier?

Hi Judesaleh –

Thanks for writing me.  I’m a bit confused by your question, though.  It sounds like you’re asking if it’s okay for your 12-year-old to sleep at your mother’s home (If it’s a safe place and they both enjoy it, then I’d say absolutely!  Grandparents are one of my favorite things, and I think there’s nothing better for a kid than to spend time getting to know them).  But it also sounds like you’re asking how to get your 12-year-old to go to bed earlier when she’s staying with you.

That’s a very common and difficult problem.  When children are young, most of them are “early folk,” going to bed early and then waking up well before their parents are ready to get out of bed, eager to greet the new day.  But when kids hit the beginnings of Continue reading

0 How to stop sibling rivalry when they’re ages apart.

spikie asks: how do I get my 16-year-old daughter to be more loving to her 10-year-old brother?

Hi Spikie –

Of course sibling rivalry is as old as brains!  I fought with my litter-siblings, Cain fought with Abel, JR fought with Bobby… oh it just goes on and on!  I will say, though, that usually when siblings are of different genders, and especially when they’re more than a few years apart in age, the rivalry is usually finished by the time they’re your kids’ ages.  So my first thought is…  give them a Continue reading

0 How to get over someone you broke up with

Kimy asks: I broke up with my first boyfriend but now I just cannot get him out of my mind. What should I do?

Hi Kimy –

I’m so sorry.  I know, it’s very very hard to move on after a breakup.  The people you loved so just get into your mind and heart, and even though you’ve chosen to not be with them, they haunt you like a ghost.

A lot of people have very specific advice:  Date other guys, or Avoid all guys, or Take a vacation, or Dye your hair a new color…  I can’t tell you that any of these are right or wrong.  The fact is, you just have to get through this time.

What you’re experiencing is actually the Continue reading

0 What to do when you see evidence your boyfriend might be cheating.

Lilies asks: I am in a relationship with a guy and I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, but recently I saw a post on Facebook — a girl said she is in relationship with him! I ask him about it and he said the girl is his cousin. I asked the girl too; she just said the guy never mentioned my name before in any of their chats. I don’t want to lose him. What do I do?!

Hi Lilies –

Hmmm…  You know that feeling you get sometimes when you go out at night for a walk and to pee on a bush somewhere, and nothing is clearly wrong but you just get that feeling?  Your ears pick up, the fur on your back rises slightly, and you just don’t want to step forward because there’s just something that’s off?  (Well, it’s probably a little different for you humans, but that’s what it’s like for Continue reading

0 How can churches appeal to teenagers?

Blessing asks: What are some of the things the church does that teenagers like.

Hi Blessing –

What an interesting question to ask a dog!  I do know a few churches that do “animal blessings days,” but otherwise we usually aren’t allowed in those gorgeous buildings!  (Though from outside, I can see that so many of the stained-glass windows have pictures of the great figures of that religion’s history tending sheep, caring for other animals, etc… Makes you wonder, doesn’t it?!).

My simple answer to you is that teenagers like what they like, and don’t like what they don’t like.  I’ve got loads and loads of questions and answers on this site about those issues, and they don’t even scratch the surface of teenage complexity.  The history of religion is so deep and enormous that I promise you, churches have done everything that teenagers like and dislike, over the last few Continue reading

0 What are fun things for teenagers to do on vacation dates?

YJaan asks: Its actually the school holidays (3 weeks) and my boyfriend and I have decided to meet in a few days. I want to make this meeting sweet, enjoyable and memorable. What do you suggest we do? Help me please…

Hi YJaan –

Well this feels like an excellent sequel to your last question.  Thanks for asking it!  I suggested that you take your time and enjoy your relationship, and now you’re asking for some suggestions of what you can do.  Okay, here goes:

1)    Movies!  I can’t go to a movie theater, but people sure seem to love them, and it’s a great place for couples, since they can hang out together and actually learn a lot about what each other likes.  Go to a thriller, a comedy, a love story, a fantasy… and see who this is you’re with!

2)    Hiking – Is there somewhere near you where the two of you can go for a long walk in nature?  People often have really great Continue reading