Category Archives for "Teens"

0 How to treat PTSD?

sazuna45 asks: My cousin is almost sixteen, and she’s had PTSD since she was thirteen. Now there are many reasons behind PTSD, but everything has been cut out, except for sexual abuse. She says there’s a high chance she’s been sexually abused (not raped, luckily). She says she doesn’t remember the full incident, just bits. She’s generally happy now, not knowing and moving on and all. But there are still hard times and her PTSD is getting worse. There’s no way to cure PTSD, as everyone says but it can get better. Right? Can you please suggest something that’ll make her PTSD get better?

Hi sazuna45 –

PTSD is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days.  People tend to think of it as a bad reaction to something bad that happened to them.  Actually, it’s pretty specific, and pretty awful.  The letters stand for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  It is a psychological condition brought on by something so traumatic as to be either life-threatening, or – and this is important – “a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others.”  So while lots of us can suffer the effects of something scaring us (“Paranormal Activity” anyone?!  Or that night I had a nightmare that I was attacked by a gang of Siamese Continue reading

3 Why would a well-cared-for teenager act out?

Nunu asks: We are a family of five. This is my and my husband’s second marriage each. We have a six-year-old daughter, and my husband has two daughters with his first wife. The eldest, 17, lives with her Mom. The youngest, 15, lives with us. The problem that we have is that the 15-year-old spreads lies and steals, which is why she came to live with us. We do not have any financial problems, so the girls get all they need and more. We are very loving parents, always involved with the children, and give them a lot of attention. Lately the 15-year-old has started lying about been emotionally abused and hit at home, as she did when she lived with her mom. She has also begun stealing from us (little things like money, jewelry, and makeup, etc.). We have grounded her countless times and taken her cellphone and laptop away for punishment. We have spoken to her and asked the reasons why she does these things and her answer is always “I don’t know.” She talks back, shouts at everyone, does not do her homework or assignments for school, and gets physically abusive towards our 6-year-old. Please help – we are at our wits’ end with her.

Hi Nunu –

There are so many possible reasons for her behavior that I’m hesitant to even guess what’s going on.  But here are a few possibilities:

1)    Even though you have been an attentive and caring set of parents, middle children almost always feel ignored and alienated in their families (largely because they never got as much attention as the other kids did in their early life).  Lying and stealing can be ways of trying to take power in an environment where they don’t feel any.

2)    Maybe not all her statements are complete Continue reading

0 How to get great legs

tin asks: How can I get gorgeous legs?

Hi tin –

I take it from your question that you’ve looked at my picture, and want to get fantastic legs like mine!  Oh I agree, in full modesty, they are splendid!  They’re strong and fast and can make me jump really high!  Everything I want in them!

But you, sadly, are a human, and can never have quite the legs I do.  I mean, you’ve got calves with some Continue reading

0 Why is my child so difficult in the morning?

Jupica asks: My kid is 3 years old, and she does a big show in the morning, because she won’t clean her mouth or brush her teeth. She cries and screams a lot, making a big noise. That takes sometimes half hour, and we are almost always late to school. Do you have any nice and easy idea that works in my case?

Hi Jupica –

I have two thoughts, which are completely different from each other.  One is really common and should be fixable pretty easily; and the other is rarer, and really important to get to work on if that’s the case.

My first thought is – you have a 3-year-old who’s going to school.  That’s pretty young, and she might well just hate going there and feeling abandoned by you (even if she actually has a good time once she’s Continue reading

0 Why do people break up after many years?

smart panther asks: Why do some couples take a separation after a long time (like 18 Years) together ?

Hi smart panther –

As I’m sure you know, there is nothing in the world more loyal than a dog. We will stick by the ones we’ve bonded to, no matter what. How often do you see a poor hungry homeless person, maybe even mentally ill, but with a faithful dog next to them who’d rather die than live apart?

So I may not be the best one to ask about why people would separate after being together for years. But I’ve checked with some humans, and here are some of the responses I’ve gotten:

1) More than dogs, people change and grow, continually, through their Continue reading

0 Do the fears of a 15-year-old go away?

Linda asks: Sometimes I still have that alienated feeling I wrote you about before. I used to be a confident and a peaceful person. I could stay alone, go anywhere alone if I want. But now it’s become the opposite. Just sometimes I’m afraid of ghosts, but still it’s fine. I don’t understand why it happens to me. I can’t see others who are my same age having that problem. May I ask, how long do I need to get rid of it?

Hi Linda –

Thanks for explaining your situation to me with more clarity.

In terms of the usual anxiety and depression about life that 15-year-olds have, I would say you can expect it to change pretty quickly, but it might just change into a different sort of worry and discomfort.  For example, today it’s scary to go somewhere alone, but in a couple of months you might have a wild crush on someone and not be able to get them off your mind, even though they’re unattainable.  And a few months after that, you might get very upset about something going on in global Continue reading

0 What to do when a family won’t go into therapy

ardnaskela asks: My cousin (who I see about once a year) has an 15-year-old daughter, beginning high school. She hates her parents, and is blackmailing them. She is very clever, but uses her brain in a negative way. Her mother never finished college, and is lost. Her father is alcoholic. She doesn’t want to go to school, or see a psychologist. I know that the whole family needs help. Is there any solution? How to make her go to school again, or to make her go to the psychologist?

Hi ardnaskela –

I have a couple of questions for you, but let me start by saying that this situation is something else!!

First of all, what do you mean when you say that her mother is “lost?”  Are you referring to her not knowing what to do with her daughter, or that she’s lost in her life in general, or… I assume you don’t mean she’s actually missing from her home?

And when you say that she’s “blackmailing” her parents – is she literally demanding money from them for not saying something?  Or is she just doing what many call “emotional Continue reading

0 Is it possible to stop yourself from loving someone?

Daniel asks: My love wants to stop loving me. What can I do about it?

Hi Daniel –

I want to make sure we’re on the same page here.  No word in English is more confusing than “love.”  I love Handsome, pork chops, spring days, running, Glenn Miller’s “String of Pearls,” and every one of my pack members – but none in the same way as the others.  So when you say your love wants to stop loving you – do you mean that someone you love wants to leave your romantic relationship, or that they just Continue reading

1 Is it okay for a girl to ask a boy out?

sazuna45 asks: Is it a bad idea for girls to ask guys out?

Hi sazuna45 –

Hmmm, I’ll have to think about that really hard.  Let me see…

I understand that some people feel that females should be restrained and coy, and stand back and wait for males to do everything…

And yet I’m a female, and like to run up and jump on dogs and people and lick Continue reading

0 What to do when your friend alienates other friends

rachel asks: I have this friend. She is pretty nice, but she can get really mean and get into a lot of fights with other girls. She’s never mean to me though. And when she’s in fights with people she expects me to support her. I don’t want to get involved in it! Other people are starting to hate me because I hang out with her. Should I drop her as a friend? I don’t know what to do.

Hi rachael –

This is a really tough situation.  Your friend is a good friend to you, but is clearly expecting you to have a lot of loyalty to her, even when you think what she’s doing is wrong.  And now others are associating you with her bad side.  There is no right answer for what to do with that!

Or maybe there is.  You see, rachel, I think this all comes down to Continue reading