Category Archives for "Questions"

0 How to help a child with great Anxiety

Ninong asks: My daughter (7 years old) is a wonderful, intelligent and socially adept child. Lately, however, she cries and vomits every time we begin her to school. This happens every time she waits for the results of an exam/test or a quiz she has taken in class. I could observe that she literally would count the days when the exam results would be announced getting fidgety as the date draws near. She always (and this is not an exaggeration) would get excellent results and in fact is the top student of her school. She would immediately return to her usual happy and wonderful self as soon as the exam results are announced. Her home-room teacher has observed this behavior and even called my attention to it. We have ruled out bullying and other factors since they are visibly absent in her case. We have assured her that we would be as happy with any result she would get for as long as she tried her best. We have talked to her about this and have kept re-assuring her.

Hi Ninong –

I’m so glad you wrote me about your daughter.  This is a very tough problem, and she definitely needs some help.

It is totally normal for children to be anxious about school and exams (In fact, just between us, why they bother giving exams to 7-year-olds is beyond me!).  But your daughter’s reactions are not the normal Continue reading

0 How can an advice-giver get advice?

puppy12 asks: This is really hard for me because I’m usually the one to give advice to everyone I know, but I would really like to know how to be complacent about myself with life? It seems like everything just hurts. Why is it so easy for me to give advice to people, but so hard to give myself advice? I just want someone to give me advice for once, and be on the receiving side of attention.

Hi puppy12 –

Thanks for your question about how to get better at taking your own advice.

Well I sure know how that feels!  I love the feeling I get from giving advice here.  Then when I’m done being the know-it-all on the computer, I go back into my regular life where I have the same problems I always have (how to keep from getting sad when I’m left alone, how to go grocery shopping without anyone noticing I’m a dog, and how to climb trees and really get those squirrels out of here!). I guess it’s always that way with puppies like Continue reading

0 How to comment on AskShirelle posts

shhhhhh asks: How can I get to answer the questions of other users, as I really want to give my opinion to others?

Hi shhhhhh –

Thanks for your question about how to comment on the questions on my website.

Great!  I love it when people add to my comments, and create conversations about the things we talk about.  I’m very well-intentioned, but often someone else can say things I’ve never thought of, that might add to, or even prove to be better than, what I’ve Continue reading

1 How to make teenagers less crime-minded

Kate asks: How can we stop teenagers from being crime-minded?

Hi Kate –

What an interesting question!

I think what you’re really asking me is how we can keep teenagers honest, give them a moral sense.  Because all sorts of people think about crime all the time; frankly it’s fun!  Humans all love to think about breaking the rules, going against society, even such outrageous things as major theft and murder (if we didn’t, bestselling book lists and TV ratings would be VERY different from the way they are!).

My quick and easy (and too simplistic) answer to your question is that you should instill those moral values earlier, when those teenagers are Continue reading

0 How a teenager can help their parents with their problems

Rozaeliyana asks: Hi, Shirelle. If our parents have problems, what should we do to solve them, and not to stress out about them all the time?

Hi Rozaeliyana –

Well, clearly you are a person with a great heart.  You look at your parents, and you want to help them with their problems.  That’s wonderful.

And I have to admit, I’m of two minds on this.  (Impressive isn’t it; most dogs wouldn’t even have one opinion!)  First, I don’t know your age, but if you’re under, oh, 22, I’m inclined to say that it’s not your responsibility to solve your parents’ problems – it’s their job to help you with Continue reading

0 Should we follow our heart or our head?

cute couple asks: If a girl like me loves a boy that… I’m not sure if he loves me but he always says, “I love you” when we talk… my mind tells me to love him, but my heart says no. What shall I follow my mind or my heart?

Hi cute couple –

This is one of the oldest questions known to humankind!  Head or Heart?  Oh and there are so many great songs about it:

Fools rush in

Where wise men never go

But wise men never fall in love

So how are they to know

And

Well you couldn’t say ‘no’ tonight

If I keep my heart out of sight

And

Heart of mine

Be still

You can play with fire

But you’ll get the Continue reading

0 How can a teenager handle their need for afternoon sleep

Star asks: Hey Shirelle – Every day I come from school and eat, and then I always sleep and never get the chance to look at my books, and then I always have to go to karate classes at 15:00. What can I do to stop sleeping, or at least read first before I sleep?

Hi Star –

You wrote JUST the right expert on this issue!  Let me describe an average dog’s day to you:  Wake up, wake up owner, go outside, do business, run around, bark at a few things, come inside, eat a little, go to sleep.  Get up, bark at more things, go back to sleep.  Kiss owner goodbye for day, feel horrible and abandoned, go back to sleep.  Wake up, sniff around, chase something, go back to sleep missing owner.  Wake up, sniff around more, not minding being alone so much, bark at what sounds like dogs walking by, go back to sleep.  Wake up thinking owner’s home, realize he’s not, sniff around, chase something, eat some bit of a plant, go back to sleep.  Wake up thinking owner’s home, find out you’re right, go absolutely nuts running around in circles barking to the world your ecstasy, jump all over owner ruining his clothes, play tug of war, go lie down and take a nap.  Wake up when you hear owner pouring out your dinner, eat, beg for some of what owner’s eating, hopefully get some, go back to sleep.  Get up at the sound of your leash, run around in circles, make it really difficult for owner to put leash over your head, go for walk pulling like crazy, get home, sniff around to find what’s happened while you were gone, go to sleep.   Wake up when owner’s ready to go to bed, complain about whatever he does, go to sleep cuddled up.

Now if I’m counting right, I’m describing a dog going to sleep ten times a Continue reading

2 How to handle a parentified sibling

fk asks: I am a 16-year-old girl. My sister whom I live with found me with my boyfriend. I wasn’t doing anything wrong with him, but ever since, I think she hates me. She scolds me whenever I ask for permission to go out. I apologized, but she couldn’t accept my apologies. What am I to do?

Hi fk –

I guess I’m a little confused.  What was your sister mad about?  Did she not know you had a boyfriend?  Or is it that you don’t think you were doing anything wrong, but she did?

Either way, the odds are that she doesn’t hate you.  It sounds from your letter like your sister is trying to act as your Continue reading

0 What to do when everyone likes you, but no one’s interested in you

krishma asks: Everyone likes me, but I still feel that they are not truly interested in me. Why?

Hi Krishma –

I’m so sorry!  What an awful feeling that is!  I’ve been to parties like that – all the people come up and pat me on the head and say “Nice Doggie,” but then they walk away.  They don’t want to play with me, or even just get to know me.  It’s a really painful feeling; sometimes I think I’d prefer it if they just ignored me completely – at least I wouldn’t be so confused!

Now when you ask me why this is going on for you, I have to say, I have no idea.  When it happens to me, I suppose it’s because none of those people are really dog-lovers, or at least it’s just that they have something else their minds are on.  For example, let’s say that party was actually a meeting where people decided whether or not to go into a huge Continue reading

0 What are the best medical universities in the UK?

Cinderrella asks: Hey, I’m writing from Africa. I’m in my second-to-last year of school. I always wanted to study in one of the universities in the UK, but I can’t seem to find the right one, since all the universities I checked seem to be very expensive. I was wondering if you could help me find a university in UK, with comprehensive fees. I’m in the science field, and would like to become a medical doctor.

Hi Cinderrella –

Thanks for your question about UK universities.

I have to confess, I really don’t know much at all about UK universities.  But I did a web search, and found some websites that I think can help you.  I’d suggest you look at Continue reading