Category Archives for "Questions"

0 What to do with a friend who’s told you difficult information

Cinderrella asks: My friend just told me today about her family problems. I don’t know why, but now suddenly I feel bad for her and I don’t know how to act towards her anymore. Should I ignore it and go back to the way things were? Wouldn’t that be selfish of me?

Hi Cinderrella –

Your problem is a really common one.  You’ve had a certain way of dealing with your friend for a long time – probably very casual, friendly, maybe joking.  And suddenly she told you something really serious about her life, and now you don’t know how to act with her.

The tough part of this is that it was probably very hard for her to talk to you about these problems, and while you didn’t mean it this way, your actions might look like you’re upset with her for her Continue reading

2 What to do when teenagers retreat from life

Pinky asks: Hi. I am a mother of a 13-year-old son. Of late I have realized he is losing his interest in studies and is becoming very inactive in his day-to-day life. My son is good in studies but now he is not doing his work on time and wants to postpone all his work. He is lacking in concentration too. He doesn’t like to go out much. He just wants to sit at home and watch TV or play PSP, etc. What should I do now?

Hi Pinky –

Thanks for your question about your son.

I wish I could tell you for sure what’s going on.  But the truth is, it could be any number of things.

MOST likely, it’s nothing to be terribly worried about.  Most teenagers go through a period (or a few periods) like this.  Their bodies and worlds are changing very fast, and they need a time when they sort of retreat, when they lose their usual energy and excitement, and need to pull inside themselves, and avoid the Continue reading

0 How to help a child who’s been frightened by scary pictures

Georgie asks: My 10-year-old daughter recently was exposed to a truly horrific image on the ‘Quizazz’ website… she really had her wits scared out of her and, despite my reassurances of ‘it’s not real,’ I don’t think I’m getting thru; how can I help her deal with her fright which is now turning into nightmares and having to have a night light on, etc?

Hi Georgie –

I just looked at Quizazz, and I think I might have seen the pictures that scared her –  Yep, those are pretty darn creepy!   I will say, though, that if it was one of those, I’m happy that it wasn’t worse!  Children are going to see faces that scare them, whether it’s in a fairy tale book or a monster movie or…  Hey do you know what movie has scared more people more than any other over time?  If you’re thinking about “Psycho” or “The Exorcist” or some slasher flicks, forget it.  The most frightening movie ever (based on a survey of psychologists years ago) is ” Continue reading

0 How to deal with mixed signals from someone you like

xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx asks: Remember when I asked you about my best friend? Well now a friend of mine is going to have a quinceanera, and I am a Dama and so need to find a guy to dance with. I want to ask him my best friend, but lately it seems like he doesn’t want to talk to me at all… I really want to ask him if he will dance with me…but I have a feeling that he got back 2gether with the girl he’s in love with…and I am hurting so much right now! I really want to tell him how I feel bout him but I don’t know what he would say. Also when I told him I might be going to the mall about 2 days ago, he said to tell him which mall because he might go and show up like a creepy stalker person. And another time he freaked me out by texting me to call because the girl he’s in love with was beating him and stuff. I couldn’t call him at the time so… I don’t know what to do and what to say… Please help me… I feel so lost! 🙁

Hi xxxDarkMusicLoverxxx!

My friend, your situation just seems to get more and more complex!  I totally want to sniff this guy out, and maybe then I can tell when he’s telling the truth, when he’s being coy, and when he doesn’t really know what he’s feeling at all!  I completely understand how his behavior is driving you nuts – it’s almost got me there too!!!

And so here’s my point.  Your main problem right now isn’t about your relationship, or your friend’s 15th birthday party.  It’s the craziness this guy is making you go through!  So your job is to find a way to get out of this wackiness.  And I think the best way is going to be for you to ask him to Continue reading

0 Tips to make hard studying easier

Vaibhav asks: To get some relief from my boring study timetable I do some yoga every morning, and that really helps me to improve my skills. Can you suggest any idea to make my study a little more easy? And here in India we are celebrating Diwali. So HAPPY DIWALI to you!

Hi Vaibhav –

Well, of course dogs never study.  We have training sessions or obedience classes, but once they’re over, we’re usually free to run and bark and sniff around.  We’ve never quite mastered the concept of Homework (and I truly hope we never do!!!).

But from what I’ve seen and heard of others, I can throw a few suggestions for easier studying your way:

1)      Concentration is usually the key.  If you can keep focused on what you’re supposed to be focused on, studying goes immensely faster than if you’re Continue reading

5 How do we pray for our children’s purity

animalkingdom asks: I have a 13 year old daughter who would like to stay pure until she gets married. Is there any prayer that one says with them when you give them a purity ring?

Hi animalkingdom –

I am a dog, and so thereby unaffiliated with any religion, and pretty unaware of most.  But I’ll make up a prayer, and you can use it or change it however you wish:

May you live the life you wish.  May you have the strength and wisdom to act in your own best interests, in the short term and the long.  May you find and recognize love and faithfulness in yourself and others, and both give and receive the worth they deserve.  And may you always Continue reading

2 How much alcohol is okay to drink

Freeman asks: I am worried about my health. About 3 times a month, my friend and I share a bottle of wine (half each). We think it’s the only way to go out at night and have fun, by drinking nearly once a week. We have been doing this for the last 7 months. I have a few times had some vodka as well. Is this killing me? How is it affecting me? Is it serious? Please help. Thank you.

Hi Freeman –

Okay, I’ll dare to take on this extremely difficult subject, but I’m going to make a disclaimer first.  If you’re a teenager or child, the fact is you shouldn’t be drinking large amounts of alcohol ever.  Your body’s still growing, and it can cause real damage, and contribute to addiction problems later.  I’m not talking about a small amount you might have at family dinners (and I’m certainly not telling you to refuse any religious rituals you may partake in!), but what you’re describing is a bit more than that.

But, on the assumption that you’re a bit older…

As a dog who finds great joy in everything from garbage cans to fire hydrants, I am not able to look down on anyone for enjoying alcoholic drinks.  Humans have been using and enjoying alcohol for Continue reading

4 When is punishment child abuse, and what should one do about it

superlover123 asks: Hi, I am facing child abuse. My mother beats me sometimes and I am left with bruises and scars. I sometimes feel like running away but I know that wouldn’t solve anything. Plus I tend to yell at people a lot without thinking first, but I’m afraid to ask for anger management classes because I don’t want people to think I’m crazy. Please help!

Hi superlover123 –

Thank you so much for your question about child abuse.

Okay, first things first.  No parent has the right to beat their child to the point of bruises and scars.  I don’t know where you live, but in a lot of places that’s completely illegal, and the police can come in and stop it.  If you’re not comfortable just walking up to a police officer, or if you’re not sure about the laws where you live, and you want to write me and tell me where you live (not your address, but the country or state is enough), I can find out who you can call to stop this if possible.  I’m very glad you wrote me about it, and I’ll gladly do whatever I can to help you out.

Now as to the anger management, well of course I think it’s your mother who needs an anger management class most Continue reading

0 What are reasons for chronic headaches

i dont know asks: I am a girl. My results in college are fine. But now-a-days I am suffering from severe headaches, especially while reading or browsing the Internet. I have no physical problem. But this continuous headache brings depression for me, and now my friends are getting bored with me too. Is there any solution?

Hi i don’t know –

Wow that sounds absolutely awful!  I hate it when any part of me aches, but if it keeps up for a long time, that drives me nuts!  I’m really sorry you’re going through this.

I know you say you don’t have any physical problem, but certainly the first thing that goes through my mind is – have you had your eyes checked lately?  If your headaches come when you read, there’s a chance you just need some glasses to help make that easier.  If that’s not it, you might look at how you sit when you read.  Lots of humans slouch forward when they read books or go online, and that can create lots of pain – either in the back, neck, shoulders, or Continue reading

2 What should a parent do when they discover things about their teenager

abcdefg asks: How do I deal with teenage relationships, considering the fact that I know about it and my daughter doesn’t know I know about it, since I secretly check her phone when she is at school? I also speak to the so-called boyfriend’s mum, but we have kept it low-key.

Hi abcdefg –

It’s a funny thing.  I’ve written so many responses to teenagers who are in danger of getting in trouble with their parents.  But you’re the first case where I’ve seen a parent who’s really in danger of getting in trouble with the teenager!  I certainly understand your concerns, and why you’ve done what you’ve done, but abcdefg, if your daughter discovers this, she’s going to raise some serious H!

Your biggest problem is inherent in your question:  You want to know how to deal with your daughter’s relationship.  But the only way for you to let her know that you know about it is to let on that you’ve been checking her phone.  And worse, far worse to a teenage girl’s eye, you’ve been talking with her boyfriend’s mother behind her Continue reading