Category Archives for "Parenting"

0 How to get a parent to not touch you so much

jamz12 asks: My Father is always teasing me, so whenever he touches me I get annoyed, yell at him, etc. What should I do to control my emotions? Because I know that I hurt his feelings when I yell at him.

Hi jamz12 –

I love that you’re concerned about your father’s feelings.  That’s a good quality, that will serve you well as your life goes on.

But I wish he showed as much concern for yours.

Look, it’s tough to be a parent.  For the first few years, you have a 24-hour job of taking care of this helpless little being, and the only reward you get is to stuff your face into its tummy and make farting noises with your mouth!  Then the kid gets older, and you love nothing more than the physical connection you have with them – hugs, them falling asleep on you, all that.  Then they get a little older than that… and suddenly they want their own space.  They don’t want you touching them all the time.  And of course, that Continue reading

0 Can a girl’s family get into trouble because her boyfriend ran away to her?

dazedandconfused asks: I’m a teenage girl, with a boyfriend. His parents always liked me and mine always liked him. His parents never let him stay over at my house, but the other night he told his mom he was staying at a friend’s, and instead came to my house. Around 10 his parents guessed he wasn’t at his friend’s and started freaking out, and my mom had no clue he wasn’t supposed to be there (she thought he was allowed). So as soon as she figured that out, my mom drove him home. It was around 10:30 when he got there. His parents were really mad. I don’t blame them, but his mom is claiming she’s gonna call the cops about it all. I’m worried to talk to my mom and dad about his mom wanting to involve the cops, but I know I have to. My question for you is, legally, is there really anything the cops can do? My boyfriend willingly lied to his parents and came to my house. It’s not like me or my mom forced him – my mom didn’t even know! Can the police technically get involved with this or would it be seen as a personal “deal with it yourself” thing? If they can, how serious do you think the punishment could be for me, him and/or my parents? And do you think his mom is pushing it too far?

Hi dazedandconfused –

Of course I’m just a dog, and don’t know all the laws where I live, much less for everywhere in the world (and of course I don’t know where you live!).  But I can generally say… No.  Certainly you and your parents have done nothing wrong at all.  And the fact that your mom drove him home the second she found out what was going on proves that she was completely innocent.  And even your boyfriend… the cops probably will tell him to obey his parents, but they don’t stick teens in jail for disobedience to their moms (with all the economic problems the world’s governments are suffering right now, they’d all go completely bankrupt if they had to do that!!!).

But this isn’t necessarily good news for your boyfriend!  You see, police are restrained by laws; if he was arrested, they’d have to treat him with a certain amount of respect, since he’s a nonviolent citizen.  Whereas his Continue reading

0 How to build confidence and motivation

Sarah asks: Next year I will be participating in my school’s pageant show and am going up against tough competitors. You see, I am a shy person but whatever I put my mind to I DO IT. I need some advice on being motivated. When people look at me, they see this insecure girl. How can I change that and also change me into thinking positive and having confidence in myself?

Hi Sarah –

I’m not sure exactly what you’ll be doing in the show.  Singing, dancing, modeling?  I might have better specific advice if I knew.  But even without that, it strikes me that you’re asking two questions here, and I can take a try at both.

First, how can you get more motivated, and think positively?  You have come to the right expert on that one, Sarah!  We dogs have NO problems with Continue reading

1 How to change someone’s opinion about you

Julia asks: My mom keeps saying I’m the problem, but I haven’t done anything wrong. So how can I make her see that she just has a problem with everything?

Hi Julia –

Thanks for your question about your mom.

This is a really tough question to answer.  For two reasons.  First, because I don’t really know who to believe – have you really never done anything wrong?!  If so, then you’re the most amazing kid I’ve ever heard of!  (The list of all the wrong things I’ve done would fill this website three times over!).

But second, if your mom really just has this negative feeling toward you no matter what you Continue reading

0 How can I get better at math?

hanafahim asks: I am not at all good at math. I am always confused in it and I always end up in last in my class. What can I do?

Hi hanafahim –

Well, as you can guess, I am just terrible at math.  The only skill I have in it is a bit of Geometry – or is it Trigonometry? – where I can judge the angle a squirrel will run from me based on the location of the nearest tree.  But I’m no good at addition or subtraction, and don’t even try me with Algebra or Calculus!

The difference between us, of course, is that no one has ever cared one bit about whether dogs know Algebra.  So it’s not a problem for me.  But I know it is for a lot of humans – you’re certainly not alone.

The only advice I can give you is due to something that happened to Continue reading

1 How to get over failing a huge exam

tejaswini asks: I am a student. I am very much depressed. I try to be normal but bad thoughts keep coming back over and over again. A year ago, I started taking coaching for an entrance exam. I slogged very much, and gave up many things. I didn’t care much because all the way I was thinking that all this work would get me into some good college. I don’t know why, but unfortunately I couldn’t crack the exam. I flunked it. It’s really taking a long time for me to get over it. Even now, when I start anything new or try taking up a new task, the first thing that flashes in my mind is “I am a loser, I can’t do it, so there is no point in trying for it!’ I feel so stupid for not being able to pass after a year preparation. It keeps flashing in my mind all the time and it pulls me down. I don’t know how to come out of all this and start something again with new energy. Please help!

Hi tejaswini –

I am so very very sorry for you, having to go through this.  As a dog, I’ve never had an experience like yours, because I never focus on the future.  But I’ve seen humans go through this sort of thing many times.  When their marriages (or hoped-for marriages) break up, or the book or movie or play they spent years on doesn’t catch on, or when their business fails.  Or, yes, when they take an exam they’ve prepared for for months, and fail.  It’s devastating, I know.

The big problem, I can tell, is the time involved.  If a squirrel walks through my yard, and I bolt to catch him, and he gets away from me, I don’t feel like a failure; I just wait for my chance to Continue reading

0 How to keep teenagers from abusing drugs and alcohol

Kully asks: What can be done to help high school learners not to engage in alcohol and drug abuse?

Hi Kully –

This is of course a gigantic issue, one that has dominated minds far greater than mine for decades.

The problem is a simple one – teenagers like to do things that are daring, things that are adult, and things that make them feel different; and alcohol and drugs meet all three of those desires.

The one thing I can promise you doesn’t work is telling them not to do them.  It’s great to educate children about the dangers of different substances, and that can have fantastic long-term results.  In the United States, concerted campaigns to teach kids about the dangers of smoking have helped cut the percentage of smokers there by half in the last fifty years.  But telling teenagers that alcohol and drug abuse are unhealthy does almost Continue reading

0 What sort of underwear is appropriate for a teenage boy?

sidi asks: I am a 14-year-old teen boy, and am confused. What type of underwear is suitable for me ?

Hi sidi –

Wow, sidi, this is a subject about which I know almost nothing!  Underwear is only one thing to me – it’s the most interesting smelling part of human clothing!  I don’t quite understand it, frankly – if you’re already covering your body with fabrics (which I assume is to make up for not having nearly enough fur), why do you need to wear more layers on exactly the part of your body that needs to get uncovered a few times a day?!  I mean, when you go to the men’s room, you don’t have to take your shoes off, so why don’t you wear three pairs of socks instead of making it take more time to get down to your Continue reading

0 What to do with a boyfriend who refuses to obey my parents

cutie asks: I’m in this relationship with this boy. My father says he doesn’t me to be in any relationship, but no matter what he does or says this boy says he doesn’t care and that he loves me and he’s going to stay with me no matter what. What should I do?

Hi cutie –

This is one of the oldest situations in the world.  I’m sure you’ve heard of the play “Romeo and Juliet.”  Now there, the girl’s father isn’t against her having just any relationship; he just hates the boy’s family.  But fundamentally, you’re in the same mess.  The boy loves you and refuses to quit, and your dad’s saying you have to quit.  So you’re wondering what to do.

What really sticks out to me is what your letter doesn’t say.  You never tell me how you Continue reading

0 How to keep children from getting their parents’ faults

siminsarahashim asks: My husband is a good man who loves his family a lot, but he has many bad habits, such as sitting around most of the time watching TV while drinking beer. I don’t want our children to grow up to behave that same way. What can I do?

Hi siminsarahashim –

I have both good and bad news for you.  I’ll give the bad news first – children learn immensely more from what they see their parents do than what their parents tell them.  Think about it – imagine if someone tried to teach you your first language, or how to walk; it’d just be impossible!   A child’s brain observes those around them, and the child then copies that to a giant extent.  This is why it’s so silly for parents who smoke, drink, or use bad language to try to teach their children not to do such things: the desire for the kid to emulate their parents is so much stronger than the desire to Continue reading