Category Archives for "Parenting"

0 How to stay in a school you can’t afford

problempup asks: I am in big trouble. You know how many kids hate school? Well I love school! But unfortunately, school is in six days and my dad hasn’t paid my fees; his salary is less than the school fees, and if he doesn’t pay, I don’t get to go to school any more. Help!

Hi problempup –

You’re right – it’s really refreshing to get a letter from someone who loves going to school!  I certainly understand the kids who can’t stand it, but it’s nice to hear that sometimes it’s actually enjoyable!

Your problem, therefore, is a really painful one.  I don’t know where you live, but I’ll throw some ideas out, and if any can help, I’ll be thrilled.

First, is this a case where your dad will have the money later, but just doesn’t have it yet?  If that’s the case, most Continue reading

0 How to deal with a bratty younger sibling

BlackGermanShepherd asks: My younger brother is 8 and he always hits me, and I get in trouble because of him. He always goes into my room and takes things and yells at me. I feel like I have no power over him. What should I do?

Hi BlackGermanShepherd –

Your problem sounds like something we dogs go through all the time.  Our humans’ friends decide it would be a great idea if they introduce their puppy to us, thinking we’ll be great pals – and the next thing you know, we’re being bitten, jumped on, and really annoyed for the whole time we’re supposed to play together.  Or worse, our humans actually decide to get a new puppy, and we’re putting up with this nonsense all the time!

And just as with you, the worst thing about this is that, when we get fed up and turn around and bite that little pest in the butt (which is completely a dog’s instinct, and how puppies have learned manners for millennia), who gets yelled at?  WE do!  It’s ridiculous!

Now I’m sure everyone’s been telling you that, over time, you and your brother will become great friends, and he’ll get very mature, and he’ll even become protective of you.  And I have no doubt that that’s true.  But that doesn’t help right now.  Now, what you need is a way to get through this.

For that, I have a few suggestions.  First, try to Continue reading

0 How to deal with a friend getting pregnant

prettyndsweet12 asks: I recently found out my best friend is pregnant. I’m really happy for her, but I wish I could be there with her to support her. She means so much to me: she’s a second mom to me, she taught me a lot and treats me as if I’m her own. I asked her if anything was gonna change between us, and she said she won’t be able to talk to me a lot – which is hard because she lives far away (well it’s not really far, but it seems like it because I hate not being able to see her). She said I’ll never lose her and we’ll still remain close, so my question is how can we remain close friends if I won’t be able to talk to her, and how do I get used to her being pregnant?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

I have a more long and serious answer to your question, but first I have to say: one thing about pregnancy is that you don’t have to get used to it, because once you get used to one stage, another one is happening, and before too long the pregnancy is completely over!  Then what you’re getting used to is a completely new and original tiny human being!  (Or sometimes more than one!)

What you’re really dealing with, prettyndsweet12, is mourning.  You had a relationship – a really great one – and it’s ending.  It will never be the same again.

Sometimes this happens because someone’s personality changes, sometimes it happens because someone moves away, and sometimes it happens because someone dies.  In your case, it’s none of those.  It’s just that the most wonderful amazing spectacular thing you could ever wish for has happened to your friend.  And while she’s still the lovely and loving person you’ve always known, your relationship to her will be as changed as in any of those other situations.

The important thing for you to realize is that the big word here is Continue reading

3 What to do when your parents won’t listen to you

Adri asks: If I ask my dad and grandma about how they treat my stepsister better than my sister and me, they will get mad and say, “Ooh shut up you are over-exaggerating,” and everything is going to explode. My grandma has been mad at me for some time, and my dad has always been treating us like we don’t matter — whenever it is night and he is saying good night he gives her a kiss and forgets about us — and I am fed up, but I am tired of it so I stop caring, and just Grrrr!

Hi Adri –

I do have a very high opinion of humans, and so I like to think that you’re somewhat mistaken, that your grandma, and especially your dad, would actually understand what you’re going through – as long as they were given the information in a way they could take.  Maybe they’re in too negative a place right now to hear it though.

So if so, what can you do?  Well, awful as it sounds, maybe your job is to just Continue reading

0 How to get a two-year-old to behave

adrianna90978 asks: I am sick and tired of being mistreated by everybody. My little brother who is only two and a half already hits us. My parents say it is our fault because we frustrate him, but we haven’t done anything to him! And there’s so much else going on too. How can I get over all this?

Hi adrianna90978 –

Okay, I have a simple answer for you on this one.  Your parents probably aren’t being completely right, but not exactly wrong either.  But you’re right – it’s not your fault.

Now if you had a five-month-old puppy, and it was biting you all the time, you’d certainly be right to be irritated.  And it might be right for someone to tell you not to do things to bother it.  But it would also be right for you to just know that it’s a puppy, and that this is what puppies do!

Similarly, two-year-old humans are notorious all over the Continue reading

0 What are some ways for young people to make money?

Arjai asks: The school I switched to is awful: the teachers barely speak English and they don’t teach us (all they do is give us the answers and make us copy off the board). There is no proper air conditioning, although we live in the desert. The kids are awfully-behaved and the classrooms are overcrowded. We had thought it was a good school but it’s awful. I know my mom will let me go back to my old school if I can up with at least 3000 dollars, so my question is: is there anyway I can make money fast?! I can’t mow lawns because there is no grass. I can’t babysit because no parent in their right mind would leave me with their kids. I’m thinking maybe something online. Selling stuff is not the safest thing for a girl living in my country, so could you please give me some options for making money fast?

Hi Arjai –

It looks to me as if you’ve already read my earlier answer about ways for young people to make money.  I’m sorry that none of those solutions sound like they’ll work (though I do have to question why you say “no parent in their right mind would leave me with their kids!”  Are you frightening?  Or maybe just young?).

My best thought is that all of those other suggestions were about how to make money from people who didn’t know you all that well.  It doesn’t take a lot of knowledge about someone to let them mow your lawn, or buy a magazine subscription from them.  And even with babysitting or pet-sitting, as long as you have a basic trust in the person, you’re willing to give them a chance.

But what about looking for work in a different Continue reading

0 How to play sports while self-conscious

Palooka asks: I am a 10-year-old boy. I love sports but my dad is the coach of my football team and I get really nervous when he’s not at the game but I get kinda nervous when he IS at the game. I’m okay during practice but when there is a game I feel kinda weird. What should I do? Thanks Shirelle. You are so wise.

Hi Palooka –

Oh what you’re describing is SOOOOO normal for humans!  You’re talking about something called Self-Consciousness.

Now we dogs do get self-conscious at times.  Like when you see pooches whose owners have dressed them in fancy sweaters and even booties, and those dogs see us other dogs (who are dressed more normally – wearing nothing more than collars) seeing them, and they’re mortified.  Sure, they had no choice in the matter, but they look so goofy, and they know it!

But most of the time, we pups really don’t feel that way at all.  We just live our lives, pursuing what we want and trying to stay out of trouble while we do it.  And it’s all fine.  But not humans.

Humans tend to be Self-Conscious, to some degree or another, all the time!  They go to school, feeling like everyone’s looking at them and judging the way they’re dressed or how their hair is that day (not realizing that everyone else is worrying about the same thing about themselves!); they create art and literature and poetry and songs that express their feelings and thoughts, hoping others will Continue reading

0 How to meet the opposite sex when you’re at a single-sex school

Arjai101 asks: I’m moving schools this year. I’m not super excited but hey its got to be what its got to be. There’s just one problem – since I live in a Muslim country, the girls and the boys are separated. I’m not boy-crazy, but the school I last went to was one of the few schools where boys and girls weren’t separated. I was sort of hoping to have my first boyfriend this year but my school situation makes really hard. Do you know any ways I can still have a boyfriend this year? If so please state how – and also give steps too.

Hi Arjai –

You make a really interesting point here.  On one hand, you’re asking me how students in single-sex schools can meet members of the opposite sex, which is a perfectly good and normal question.  But then you add something else to it, that’s really fascinating – which is that this issue wouldn’t mean the same thing to you if you hadn’t spent last year at a coeducational school.

It’s like me with food.  If I smell something that Handsome’s cooking, and it smells really good, I’m definitely interested in it.  But if I get a taste of it, and it tastes as good as it smelled (or better!), I am in love with it!  My tongue is drooling like crazy, and I just can’t control myself!  I would have wanted it anyway, but now that desire means something much more to me, and I feel like I just can’t live without it!

So back to you.  It sounds like you’re at an age where it’s totally normal to want to start dating, and your school isn’t going to do much to help that along.  So how do you meet Continue reading

0 How to best react to failure

dumboo asks: What should be our reaction if we fail in achieving something?

Hi dumboo –

There are lots and lots of ways to react when one fails at something.  A few I see often are “Oh No!  I give up!  This is impossible!” and “I don’t believe this!” and “God hates me!” and “I suck!” and “Well I know not to try that again!”

Some others aren’t so verbal.  They might involve bursting into tears, banging one’s head against a wall, or kicking someone.

Another is to immediately try doing what Continue reading

1 How to handle a spoiled child

mouse asks: My cousin’s 9-year-old sister is too stubborn. She doesn’t even regret that she has failed so many papers, she doesn’t listen to her mom or dad, and she talks rudely. She believes that no one loves her, although her parents get her everything – she just seems to follow something in her mind. Please help!

Hi mouse –

I have to admit, I’m a bit confused about this girl!  First of all, what sort of papers is a nine-year-old assigned to write?  Second, why are her parents giving her ‘everything,’ when she doesn’t listen to them?  And third, does she believe that no one loves her because… no one does?  I’ll try to answer your question, but this is tough material.

It sounds to me like this girl has some real issues with her parents.  They’re giving her lots of stuff, but not giving her the boundaries she needs.  She sounds confused and unsure of what to do, and VERY unhappy about it.

You see, it’s a kid’s job to see what they can Continue reading