Category Archives for "Life Skills"

0 Should teenagers have jobs while in school?

Adnan asks: In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Can you please tell me if you think this is a good idea?

Hi Adnan –

Great question.  Although I have to admit, I don’t know what countries don’t have teenagers who work while being students.  I think it’s a great idea, and have nothing against it.  With a couple of exceptions.

Firstly, I’m a big believer in education.  And it’s impossible for a teenager, or anyone else, to carry a full high-school or college courseload and do a fulltime job. Something has to give.  So if it’s financially possible, I’m all for having the education be the full-time commitment, and the job be part-time.  But if it’s absolutely necessary that the kid work full-time, then I’d want the education to be spread-out.  In other words, maybe they could cut their class-load in half, and just take two years to do what other students do in one.  It does no good for a kid to do a full courseload and only devote half the time they need to each of their classes.  Better to put all the work you need into history this year, and into algebra next year, for example.

Secondly, most of us live in a very fortunate time, when child labor has been outlawed.  But it still exists in some parts of the world.  Children can be enslaved, forced to do backbreaking work for little or no pay, because they have no power to fight back the way adults would.  This is morally wrong, and I’m completely against that.  So when you ask about “teenagers having jobs,” and I say I’m all for it, I mean jobs like helping out on the family farm, flipping burgers and waiting tables (that’s the job I’d like best!), counseling in camps or teaching sports, office or store jobs – something that is appropriate for their age.  And I especially want their parents to check the job out, and make very sure their kid is being treated fairly.  Otherwise, it’s exploitation – a big word for taking advantage of the weak.

Having a job can build self-esteem, and teach all sorts of great values to a teenager.  I just want to make sure we’re talking about that sort of job!

Great question, thanks!

Shirelle

0 How to get my child to not be scared to go to school

missue asks: I have a 6-year-old kid. He had this weird habit of crying in school when he was in kindergarten, but I thought he would get used to school when he was in grade one. But then things got worse than ever! Now he doesn’t want to go to school at all! What should I do? I’ve tried everything to convince him to go but still I can’t.

Hi Missue –

I relate completely to your kid.  Any time Handsome drops me off anywhere, I don’t like it.  I don’t mind any of the places he takes me, but I hate being left by him.  I’m always afraid I’m going back to the pound where he first found me, and that’s really scary!

But you’re right to be concerned.  People usually get over what’s called Separation Anxiety by your son’s age.  Although, you’d be surprised at how normal it is, even at this point.

If your son is able to express what scares him, the best thing is to get him to Continue reading

1 How to tell your parents you’ve been keeping something from them

Chocolate Bar asks: How can I have a conversation with my parents about the fact that I’ve been dating? And convince them that they can trust me to make the right choices?

Hi Chocolate Bar –

If I’m reading your question right, you have a specific problem, that goes beyond how to talk to your parents about dating.  I have a bunch of other posts on the website that tell about how parents and teens can talk about dating… but it sounds like you’ve been doing it behind their back.  And now you want to know how to earn their trust.  Now that could get pretty difficult!

You know that story about the puppet whose nose grows even longer than mine, every time he lies?  That’s because that’s exactly what a Continue reading

0 How should teenagers deal with “inappropriate” websites?

moonfur asks: My best friend isn’t allowed to talk to me anymore because I found an inappropriate website and told her about it, and then continued to go on it, and her mum found out about it — so my bff was forced to say that I showed it to her. We are like sisters! How do I survive this?

Hi moonfur –

Wow, thanks for asking such an open question.

What hits me the most about it is one word:  “inappropriate.”  I want you to think a minute about what that word means, because everything I say will be about that.

“Inappropriate” is a word that people use very freely, and often… well… inappropriately!  It means something that’s not suitable for a particular occasion:  It’s appropriate to yell out “Goooooooooal!” at a World Cup match, but not at a church service.  It’s appropriate to laugh loudly when a movie comedian falls down, but not when your teacher does.  It’s appropriate for…  well, you get the idea.  But I hear lots of people say something’s “inappropriate” simply because they don’t like it!  “It’s inappropriate for you to point out that I was lying,” for example.

So, given that, what makes the website you saw “inappropriate?”  Was it something only Continue reading

0 How do you stop hurting someone you love

Kelina asks: How do you stop hurting someone you love? I don’t mean to do it.

Hi Kelina –

Thanks for this very open question about hurting someone you love.

First, I want you to check out an earlier post I did, to the exact opposite question, about why the people we love hurt us!  It was written by Duaa.  Just put that name in the search box on the AskShirelle site, and it’ll come up.

But to your question, I’d say you need to ask yourself one very important question first:  Are they really being hurt by what you’re doing, or choosing to be Continue reading

1 Should I trust my guy?

Aroula asks: Should I trust my guy?

Wow, that’s a tough question.  I don’t know anything about him, but I guess here’s the best I can offer:

Some legal systems in the world operate from the idea that a person is “innocent until proven guilty.”  In other words, it’s up to the court to prove that the person committed a crime before they can be punished for it.  And in those systems, police often get into trouble if they have arrested a person without “just cause.”

I think that’s a good way to be in relationships too.  There are lots of people out there who spend all their time distrusting their boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse, or even their friends.  And you know what?  They’re unhappy people!  They can always find reasons not to trust!  Then there are others out there, who do the Continue reading

0 How do I control my appetite?

Ashley asks: How do I control myself when I’m home at night and I’m really hungry?

Hi Ashley –

This is a really big question.  And I have to admit, much as I dislike it, I’m lucky in this regard.  You see, I can’t get into the refrigerator.  I can’t get into cupboards, I can’t even get into the container that holds my dogfood.  And because Handsome makes sure to regulate all that, I’ve never had an eating problem.  He makes sure I get all the really healthy dogfood I want at dinnertime, and I often leave it out so I can nibble on it during the day too.  But I can’t get pizza and cookies and treats and all whenever I want, only when he lets me have some.

Lots of people have trouble controlling their appetites.  And I certainly relate – I’d have trouble too, if I had the power you humans do.  So what you need to do is to be your own Continue reading

0 Should you pursue others while in a relationship?

susmita asks: I love a guy, but till now I haven’t confirmed if he loves me or not. Although both of us are in relationships now, how can I know what he thinks about me???

Hi Susmita –

Thanks for your question about how to tell if a guy likes you.

First, I want to direct you to an answer I’ve already written.  Look up Hannah’s question that starts with “I really like this boy.”  That will tell you most of what I have to say about that issue.

But you bring up another great point I want to address as well.  You say that you and he are both in relationships already.  Now I can understand why you’d want to find out how this boy feels about you, sure.  But what about the boy you’re already Continue reading

2 Why are teenagers preoccupied with sex

Angelbrat asks: I’m doing a survey at school about ‘Why are teens preoccupied by sex?’ I think of you as a highly professional little ‘puppy’ and your opinion on that question will be surely appreciated!

Ha!  I would love to see the results of that survey when you’re done, Angelbrat!

Well I have a few answers for you.  First of all, there’s the simple biochemical one.  When humans enter puberty, their bodies start secreting a lot of hormones that change them from being children into adults, and most of that has to do with sexual and reproductive aspects.  Whereas children might develop crushes on people because they’re so attracted to them, teenagers tend to walk around in a state of perpetually heightened sexual Continue reading

0 Does darker skin make a person less beautiful?

Aanand asks: For about 2 years, my skin has been becoming darker. Now I am 13 years old. I will be 14 years old within 2 months. I want to look more beautiful.

Hi Aanand –

Thanks for your question about your skin getting darker.

Although we dogs aren’t nearly as interested in looks as we are in smells and sounds, I understand your desire to look more beautiful.  It’s clear to me that when I’m dirty and covered in burrs and smells, most people don’t want to pet me, and even Handsome just does enough that it’s clear he’s just letting me know he still likes me.  But when I’m clean and brushed and not so smelly, so many more people want to hug and pet me, and kiss my nose and all.  You just want to be more attractive, and that makes total sense.

But you bring up a really important other issue as well.  It sounds like you’re saying that your skin getting darker means you’re getting less beautiful.  This of course isn’t your fault at all, but I have to say, if I’m reading this right, I HATE HEARING THINGS LIKE Continue reading