Category Archives for "Life Skills"

1 How to salvage a broken friendship

megane2 asks: My best friend and I both had to move to different cities because of our parents’ work. Some complications and misunderstandings happened to us and her family does not like me and does not want us to talk or see each other again. It’s really hard. Sometimes I do talk to her online though when I get the chance, but otherwise we barely speak. I can’t call her because her family has caller ID. She is my best friend and like my sister and we’re really close, and now we’re just trying to keep in touch so we don’t lose our friendship… because friendship needs communication right? I feel like I have no one to talk to because she was the only one who understood me fully. Another thing is that I write her emails telling her what I’m up to and what’s new, and I wait for her reply, but she doesn’t care to. Sometimes I get the feeling she doesn’t want me anymore but I hurry and shake it off because she means so much to me. It really is hard. What should I do? Thanks and sorry for taking so long.

Hi megane2

This sounds really painful; but especially, it sounds Lonely!   It’s bad enough to live in a different city from your best friend, but then for her family to not like you makes it worse; and then for her to often not reply to you… that’s just awful!

So I’ve got all sorts of questions.  Like – was it just misunderstandings that turned her family against you, or was it something more; and why she isn’t replying (do they keep her from it, or is it her choice?).  So I’ll throw some thoughts at you, but please forgive me if I get some things Continue reading

0 How to deal with a sibling with abnormalities

Shefar asks: Hey, Shirelle! I have asked you a question before, so I won’t tell you about me again, but there is one thing you don’t know… I have a sister and she’s abnormal. I mean she’s not crazy, just that not normal like us. But she likes to win everything. She’s older than me, but things have to be fair, right? I mean now I fight with her and I am the one who always got blamed! She starts it and I am the one that’s got to be blamed! My parents really care about her cause she’s not “normal” and they always make me give up the fight… So can you give me any advice to put a stop to this fighting and always losing stuff?! I know it’s kinda complicated but I’ve only got you to tell me what to do.

Hi Shefar –

It would be easier for me to give you a specific answer if I knew what exactly your sister’s Abnormality was.  The way you describe it, though, it sounds like she has some sort of developmental delay, or perhaps some level of Autism.   If so, your frustration is VERY normal, in fact unavoidable.  I’ve known lots of kids in your situation, and it’s never easy.  I will give you some advice, but first I want to give you the good news:  growing up in this situation is going to make you a really great person, and others will be able to see it.

Meanwhile, though, it’s not Continue reading

0 How to tell if a boy staring at you actually likes you

1471999 asks: I am a 12 years old girl.A boy who is younger than me looks at me in the class very often. Does that means he loves me?

Hi 1471999 –

I need to split your question into two parts.  The first is the question of what the word “love” means.  There are other posts on this website about this – about how it’s different from a “crush,” about how real love takes time, etc.  You might want to check those out.

But the second, about what this boy is feeling?  My guess is that yes, he’s interested in you.  But be warned – he may not Continue reading

0 How can kids grow faster

Mia asks: How can one grow fast naturally?

Hi Mia –

Well, there are a few ways, but the one most people know about (and don’t want to do) is that if you eat lots of sweets and carbs and fatty foods, and don’t get any exercise, you’ll grow a lot – but only outward, not up!  There is a lot of evidence that today’s kids’ bodies are maturing way earlier because of certain chemicals in their food, especially in meats.  That’s not really a good thing, though!  We like kids to be kids for a while!

I think what you’re saying, though, is you want to grow taller and stronger sooner.  And the best way to do that is Continue reading

1 Should you stay with someone who’s insulting you

barbie girl neika asks: I like this guy who is 5 years older than me. We have been together for four years on and off, but we broke up. I still have feelings for him, but he cheated and lied to me, and when we broke up he and the same girl got in a relationship. They are even together now! He even let me talk to her on the phone! He calls her names like “princess” and “Mrs.”… I’m jealous. Do you think I should let him go????? I’m awaiting your answer

Oh Barbie Girl Neika –

I am SUCH a romantic!  I spend so much time on this website trying to help couples work through problems, often including how to deal with the fact that one of them has done something wrong to the other.

But every dog has a breaking point.  No matter how nice and cuddly and licky and sweet we are, if we get mad enough, the hair on our back sticks up and our fangs come out and we become wild wolves like our ancestors and just want to rip the guts out of what’s angering us.  This is one of those Continue reading

1 Why teenagers should be given more freedom

Aly asks: Why should teenagers be given more freedom in social life?

Hi Aly –

My quick answer is “Because if they’re not given it, they’ll take it!”

But more importantly, they’ll take their freedom without your wisdom.

It’s like dogfood.  See, Handsome tends to make and eat food that’s a lot more interesting to me than my regular dog food.  But I know I’m not allowed to grab his food off the counter or the table.  And because I’m eating enough of my own food, I can handle the rules, and just hope he’ll give me some scraps when he’s done.  But if he didn’t feed me my own food, and I was really starving, I’d grab every bit of his Continue reading

0 What do you regret about your teenage years?

Mary asks: Hey, what do you regret not doing during your teenage years????

Hi Mary –

What a great question!  Though I’m not sure which years you’re referring to with me.  If you mean mean the time in my life between the literal ages of twelve to twenty-one, almost any dog in the world would tell you that its regret about that period was not living longer!  But if you mean my teenage “dog years,” that would basically be the time I spent at the age of two (fourteen to twenty-one in dog years).  So what do I regret not doing then?

Continue reading

0 How to stop sibling rivalry when they’re ages apart.

spikie asks: how do I get my 16-year-old daughter to be more loving to her 10-year-old brother?

Hi Spikie –

Of course sibling rivalry is as old as brains!  I fought with my litter-siblings, Cain fought with Abel, JR fought with Bobby… oh it just goes on and on!  I will say, though, that usually when siblings are of different genders, and especially when they’re more than a few years apart in age, the rivalry is usually finished by the time they’re your kids’ ages.  So my first thought is…  give them a Continue reading

0 How to get over someone you broke up with

Kimy asks: I broke up with my first boyfriend but now I just cannot get him out of my mind. What should I do?

Hi Kimy –

I’m so sorry.  I know, it’s very very hard to move on after a breakup.  The people you loved so just get into your mind and heart, and even though you’ve chosen to not be with them, they haunt you like a ghost.

A lot of people have very specific advice:  Date other guys, or Avoid all guys, or Take a vacation, or Dye your hair a new color…  I can’t tell you that any of these are right or wrong.  The fact is, you just have to get through this time.

What you’re experiencing is actually the Continue reading

0 What to do when you see evidence your boyfriend might be cheating.

Lilies asks: I am in a relationship with a guy and I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, but recently I saw a post on Facebook — a girl said she is in relationship with him! I ask him about it and he said the girl is his cousin. I asked the girl too; she just said the guy never mentioned my name before in any of their chats. I don’t want to lose him. What do I do?!

Hi Lilies –

Hmmm…  You know that feeling you get sometimes when you go out at night for a walk and to pee on a bush somewhere, and nothing is clearly wrong but you just get that feeling?  Your ears pick up, the fur on your back rises slightly, and you just don’t want to step forward because there’s just something that’s off?  (Well, it’s probably a little different for you humans, but that’s what it’s like for Continue reading