Category Archives for "Life Skills"

1 How to confront a friend who gives unsolicited advice

prettyndsweet12 asks: I have a friend who annoys me by giving me advice all the time. Also, she does this to all my other friends and they think she’s being annoying too, but they don’t want to hurt her feelings, and I don’t either. I’ve put up with it for a while, and I can’t anymore. So if I say something, and she tells all of our other friends, and they think I’m being the bad guy, how do I deal with it?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

I do have an answer, but it’s pretty difficult.  Given that your other mutual friends feel the same way you do about your best friend’s advice-giving, my recommendation is something called an Intervention.

Interventions are usually done for gigantic problems, like alcoholism!  For example, let’s say you had a friend who was drinking lots, all the time.  And he never did anything to try to help himself about it, and in fact didn’t think he had a problem at all.  Well, you and his other friends could organize an Intervention, where you all show up at his home, explain to him that you’re all really worried about him and that he does have a problem, and take him to a rehab facility.  It might be the greatest thing you and your friends ever do, and could well save his Continue reading

0 How to respond to an opinion you don’t agree with

zubi asks: How should we respond to an opinion we don’t agree with?

Hi zubi –

There are two very silly things about your question.  The first is that the answer is so clear… and the second is that SO MANY HUMANS don’t know how to do it!  If you’ve grown up watching politicians on TV, it sure makes sense to me that you haven’t learned this simple skill.  And that’s a shame.  A shame on them, not on you.  You’re the person who’s humble and honest and open enough to ask.  (I’d vote for you for anything!)

The simple answer is Respect.  What makes people upset when others disagree with them is that they’re not getting shown respect in the disagreement.

Let me give you an example.  Let’s say Handsome and I are walking, and I pass a tree that lots of dogs have peed on, and I think it’s the most interesting, great-smelling thing ever.  And so I try to stop and Continue reading

0 How to avoid depression and anxiety

Imran asks: How can I avoid depression, anxiety, phobias, etc. How can I make good relations with others and enjoy my life?

Hi Imran –

Hmm…  If you’re asking how you can avoid sadness and worry, then I suppose the answer is to not ever care about anything.  Life creates both, and that’s nothing to… well… be sad or worry about!

However, your question uses bigger words than that.  Depression can be a terrible state, leading to misery, lost years from your life, or even death.  Anxiety and phobias can be equally bad.  These can be huge problems.

Really, the difference is probably in how quickly you Continue reading

0 How to become an actor if your parents don’t want you to

ana1821 asks: I come from Albania and I’m worried I won’t make it in the acting world. I really want to do it, but I’m so afraid to try. My parents think that I’m too young to act and they would never let me do it. I don’t know what to do. Please help me figure this out.

Hi ana1821 –

It sounds to me like you have two problems at the moment.  The first is that you’re afraid to try acting, and the second is that your parents don’t want you to do it.

With the first, of course, you just simply have to find a way!  If someone said to you that they wanted to become a mathematician but were afraid of math problems, you’d tell them they were crazy, right?  Well, I know you’re not crazy, but the same problem holds here.  Acting is a very difficult profession.  The only people who succeed in it are those who looooooove doing it.  Note: there are numerous successful actors who aren’t all that good at it – but they still have to loooooooooove doing it!!!  So if you don’t love it, you simply have to not be an actor!

Now with the second issue, of course that’s not up to you at all.  If your parents absolutely refuse to allow you to act, then it’s hard for you to get into shows or movies.

HOWEVER… there are literally innumerable ways for you to act that don’t break your parents’ Continue reading

0 What’s the best method for teaching children?

khinnyinethu asks: What is the best method for teaching children? How important are exams?

Hi khinnyinethu –

This question is asked all over the place today, though often it’s tied in with a caveat of “within a shrinking budget.”  Obviously, I’m a huge believer in the importance of children’s education, and wish that more humans would devote more funds to it, since, as the song says “I believe the children are our future!”  In fact, can anyone possibly disagree?!

There are more theories of education out there than I could possibly list, or even know.  But I do know a few things about kids, that I think should be included in any method of teaching them.

First of all, children’s brains are twice the size of dogs’ brains, but at the core they’re the same.  So humans shouldn’t lose sight of what dog trainers know:  Keep it as simple as you can, be direct and consistent, and know that rewards work better than Continue reading

0 How to help a friend through grief

NARDY asks: My best friend is sad because her father died. She is always upset and when I speak to my other friends she always asks me to stay with her. I’m trying to make her happy, but I can’t. What can I do?

Hi NARDY –

My friend, you’re dealing with one of the toughest issues there is.  Actually you’re dealing with two.

Grief is always difficult, and everybody has to go through it.  There are small griefs (like when an ice cream cone falls on the ground before you can eat it), and really painful ones (like when someone you’re dating breaks up with you), and then there are those griefs that are so awful they change your entire way of living and seeing the Continue reading

0 What to do with a boyfriend who treats you badly

brena asks: I am having problems with my boyfriend. He keeps lying to me and he blames me for everything that happens in our relationship. He does not pay me as much attention as he did once and he thinks he is always right, never admitting that he is wrong. He hardly calls or texts me; instead he texts his friends and that bothers me. Whenever anything goes wrong in his life, he tells his friends first before telling me, and that hurts. I talked to him about it and it seems as if he does not care. He also shouts at me at times. I really do love him but I am sick of it and I don’t know what to do. Please help me. I really want this to work out.

Hi brena –

Now I don’t give a lot of advice like this.  As you know, I tend to be a big romantic.  But if we go over what you’ve told me, your boyfriend:

1)    blames you for everything in the relationship

2)    isn’t paying much attention to you

3)    feels he’s always right and never admits being wrong

4)    hardly ever calls or texts you (but does text his other friends)

5)    talks to his friends before you

6)    doesn’t seem to care when you tell him your feelings

7)    and shouts at you.

Now of course, no one’s perfect, and relationships are hard.  But I have to say, brena, this guy sounds to me like a big bunch of Continue reading

0 How to tell a friend they’re being judgmental

prettyndweet12 asks: Lately I feel like my friend is acting more like my mom than my friend. Every time I say I miss my crush, or that I like another boy, she’s always giving me lectures on how I need to enjoy my summer and stop thinking about boys all the time and just chill. I understand if she’s saying it once just for friendly advice, but its almost everything I say that seems wrong to her, and its gotten to the point where I’m afraid to say things to her because she’s so judgmental! How do I let her know to stop without being mean or wrecking our friendship?

Hi prettyndsweet12 –

I’ll give you an answer, but first I can’t resist asking a question:  Why is it that your friend doesn’t worry about whether she’s being mean or wrecking your friendship?!  Endless bossing is really annoying!!

Anyway, what you’re really asking is how to handle this issue without hurting her.

One mistake I see humans do all the time is to worry too much about hurting the other person’s feelings, to the degree that they hurt them even more.  For example, Handsome was once dating a woman, and it wasn’t going well.  He really wanted to split up.  But he knew it would hurt her feelings a lot if he did.  So he thought it would be really smart if he proved to her that she was important to him, and that even if they broke up he’d still care about her.  So he took her out to a great dinner, a fun concert, fun stuff afterwards… and then he broke up with her.  And did she say “Oh thank you Handsome, that took all the hurt away?”  Not a Continue reading

0 How to handle getting injections

ktarr asks: We’re having injections at school I’m soo worried it will hurt. I know I’m gonna cry and look like a right baby in front of the other girls and then the boys (and my crush) who will see us afterwards.

Hi ktarr –

Oh I know just how you feel!  I hate injections too!  The only thing I hate even more is that my veterinarian has some vaccinations she sprays up my nose!  Remember dogs’ noses are way more sensitive than people’s, and oh do I HATE that!  But shots come in second.  And Handsome has always hated them too.  Hate Hate Hate them!!!

But then… there’s the issue of disease.  I hate getting sick too.  And of course, you’re in a very special situation, where you have to be as strong and healthy as you can, for your baby.

So here’s the only advice I can give.  Don’t look at the Continue reading

0 What besides studying are universities looking for?

shiraz asks: I am a sixteen-year-old girl. I’m studying sooooo hard to get a scholarship and go to Canada, because in Iran we don’t have any universities as good as theirs. I’ve really put my heart into it, because I think that the only way I can get in is to study and study and study. What do you think?

Hi shiraz –

You ask if the way to get into a good Canadian university is to study and study and study?  I completely agree.  In fact, you might want to add a few more “study and study”s to it!

The other thing I’d suggest, though, is that many western colleges and universities care a lot about other things as well as grades.  One of them is Diversity, and you should score great on that, just by the fact of coming from Iran.  But another one is Continue reading