Category Archives for "Life Skills"

0 What are good breakfast foods?

sega asks: What are some of the best easy breakfast options?

Hi sega –

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard the term “the dog’s breakfast,” but I’m assuming that isn’t what you’re asking for!  (it means vomit!)

Well of course, I primarily love leftovers of whatever Handsome had for dinner the night before.  It’s always great, it’s very easy for him to prepare (just pull it out of the refrigerator and put it in my bowl), and I’ve always been craving it ever since he got home!

But you’re probably after something more usual.  Well, as good as they taste, my sense of nutrition tells me that starting the day with Continue reading

0 What to do when your girlfriend doesn’t want sex

jaatt asks: I am very shy. I want to have sex with my girlfriend, but she doesn’t like sex. So please tell me how I can force her into happy sex.

Hi jaatt –

Okay, let’s start with one simple statement, that means a GIGANTIC amount:  You should not, EVER, force anyone into sex.

I realize that lots of my Pack members aren’t that great with English, and so you might not have meant your question the way it came out.  But that’s really the point about this issue: you need to be extra-super-careful to make sure of two things:  first, that you never make someone feel like they’re being forced into sex; and second, that you never let anyone misinterpret that you have Continue reading

0 How to treat PTSD?

sazuna45 asks: My cousin is almost sixteen, and she’s had PTSD since she was thirteen. Now there are many reasons behind PTSD, but everything has been cut out, except for sexual abuse. She says there’s a high chance she’s been sexually abused (not raped, luckily). She says she doesn’t remember the full incident, just bits. She’s generally happy now, not knowing and moving on and all. But there are still hard times and her PTSD is getting worse. There’s no way to cure PTSD, as everyone says but it can get better. Right? Can you please suggest something that’ll make her PTSD get better?

Hi sazuna45 –

PTSD is a term that gets thrown around a lot these days.  People tend to think of it as a bad reaction to something bad that happened to them.  Actually, it’s pretty specific, and pretty awful.  The letters stand for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.  It is a psychological condition brought on by something so traumatic as to be either life-threatening, or – and this is important – “a threat to the physical integrity of oneself or others.”  So while lots of us can suffer the effects of something scaring us (“Paranormal Activity” anyone?!  Or that night I had a nightmare that I was attacked by a gang of Siamese Continue reading

3 Why would a well-cared-for teenager act out?

Nunu asks: We are a family of five. This is my and my husband’s second marriage each. We have a six-year-old daughter, and my husband has two daughters with his first wife. The eldest, 17, lives with her Mom. The youngest, 15, lives with us. The problem that we have is that the 15-year-old spreads lies and steals, which is why she came to live with us. We do not have any financial problems, so the girls get all they need and more. We are very loving parents, always involved with the children, and give them a lot of attention. Lately the 15-year-old has started lying about been emotionally abused and hit at home, as she did when she lived with her mom. She has also begun stealing from us (little things like money, jewelry, and makeup, etc.). We have grounded her countless times and taken her cellphone and laptop away for punishment. We have spoken to her and asked the reasons why she does these things and her answer is always “I don’t know.” She talks back, shouts at everyone, does not do her homework or assignments for school, and gets physically abusive towards our 6-year-old. Please help – we are at our wits’ end with her.

Hi Nunu –

There are so many possible reasons for her behavior that I’m hesitant to even guess what’s going on.  But here are a few possibilities:

1)    Even though you have been an attentive and caring set of parents, middle children almost always feel ignored and alienated in their families (largely because they never got as much attention as the other kids did in their early life).  Lying and stealing can be ways of trying to take power in an environment where they don’t feel any.

2)    Maybe not all her statements are complete Continue reading

0 How to handle a midlife crisis

totogal asks: I know dogs don’t go much through what we humans know as midlife crisis, but boy, I sure am going through something- I’ve never been this unsure about what to do about anything. Applied and interviewed for a bunch of jobs that I’m not even sure now that I want, all of which involve moving, but then I think that’s a mistake because I’ll miss my friends here. sigh My cat seems to be happy wherever I am…or even just looking out the window at the people walking on the street below (he’s doing that now)… any advice??? (Don’t suggest improv…I already tried that and totally suck at it!!!!)

Hi totogal –

Midlife crises are TOUGH!

For those readers who don’t know about them, when humans hit a certain age – usually between 40 and 50 – they often find themselves wanting to change their lives in a major way.  Their job either hasn’t gone well enough, or hasn’t fulfilled them enough, and they want to change it.  Or maybe they want to move to a new place, or change their relationship status in some way.  But they don’t know what to do about that feeling!  Basically, it’s like they’re teenagers all over again, and just as Continue reading

0 Do the fears of a 15-year-old go away?

Linda asks: Sometimes I still have that alienated feeling I wrote you about before. I used to be a confident and a peaceful person. I could stay alone, go anywhere alone if I want. But now it’s become the opposite. Just sometimes I’m afraid of ghosts, but still it’s fine. I don’t understand why it happens to me. I can’t see others who are my same age having that problem. May I ask, how long do I need to get rid of it?

Hi Linda –

Thanks for explaining your situation to me with more clarity.

In terms of the usual anxiety and depression about life that 15-year-olds have, I would say you can expect it to change pretty quickly, but it might just change into a different sort of worry and discomfort.  For example, today it’s scary to go somewhere alone, but in a couple of months you might have a wild crush on someone and not be able to get them off your mind, even though they’re unattainable.  And a few months after that, you might get very upset about something going on in global Continue reading

0 What to do when a family won’t go into therapy

ardnaskela asks: My cousin (who I see about once a year) has an 15-year-old daughter, beginning high school. She hates her parents, and is blackmailing them. She is very clever, but uses her brain in a negative way. Her mother never finished college, and is lost. Her father is alcoholic. She doesn’t want to go to school, or see a psychologist. I know that the whole family needs help. Is there any solution? How to make her go to school again, or to make her go to the psychologist?

Hi ardnaskela –

I have a couple of questions for you, but let me start by saying that this situation is something else!!

First of all, what do you mean when you say that her mother is “lost?”  Are you referring to her not knowing what to do with her daughter, or that she’s lost in her life in general, or… I assume you don’t mean she’s actually missing from her home?

And when you say that she’s “blackmailing” her parents – is she literally demanding money from them for not saying something?  Or is she just doing what many call “emotional Continue reading

0 Is it possible to stop yourself from loving someone?

Daniel asks: My love wants to stop loving me. What can I do about it?

Hi Daniel –

I want to make sure we’re on the same page here.  No word in English is more confusing than “love.”  I love Handsome, pork chops, spring days, running, Glenn Miller’s “String of Pearls,” and every one of my pack members – but none in the same way as the others.  So when you say your love wants to stop loving you – do you mean that someone you love wants to leave your romantic relationship, or that they just Continue reading

1 Is it okay for a girl to ask a boy out?

sazuna45 asks: Is it a bad idea for girls to ask guys out?

Hi sazuna45 –

Hmmm, I’ll have to think about that really hard.  Let me see…

I understand that some people feel that females should be restrained and coy, and stand back and wait for males to do everything…

And yet I’m a female, and like to run up and jump on dogs and people and lick Continue reading

0 What to do when your friend alienates other friends

rachel asks: I have this friend. She is pretty nice, but she can get really mean and get into a lot of fights with other girls. She’s never mean to me though. And when she’s in fights with people she expects me to support her. I don’t want to get involved in it! Other people are starting to hate me because I hang out with her. Should I drop her as a friend? I don’t know what to do.

Hi rachael –

This is a really tough situation.  Your friend is a good friend to you, but is clearly expecting you to have a lot of loyalty to her, even when you think what she’s doing is wrong.  And now others are associating you with her bad side.  There is no right answer for what to do with that!

Or maybe there is.  You see, rachel, I think this all comes down to Continue reading